I am growing older, though youth is contained in my blood as it pumps it way through my veins. My cerebellum awaits an answer to a question i haven't thought of yet.. where am I? What am I doing? Where will I go next? Am I complete? I say I am and comfortable with the loneliness that floods my heart but deep down I know it is an unhealthy lie that will only bring cat scans and tests for stress at some point in my later years. Why do I lie to myself. Will I wait forever. Sometimes opening my mouth is equivalent to slitting my own wrists which is something I would never do. It won't find me. How can something find you when you're not putting yourself out there to be found. Confidence is not an issue. It's the fear of rejection that I allow to bring me down. Dwell in past experiences long enough and they are liable to repeat themselves.Allow my youth filled blood to recycle itself and fill my brain with hope and understanding. Open up and start looking. I think I may be able to find you. But for now we're both lost.

I'm not sure if the fear of rejection or the fear of commitment is worse...but i'm suffering from the latter

Yeah.. I think I may be a bit reserved from now on when it comes to commitment. It's def gonna take some time. I think it takes time to develop and has to happen through really getting to know a person(communication), trust, and the willingness on both parts to want to work to make it work. I guess you have to have soooo much love for a person, that you would do any thing for them. That commitment takes time.Not something to jump into. May be best to play the field and find the best connection. It's all so damn confusing. I could pontificate all day.

A ramble I think many of us feel.here's hoping your dreams come true