Ok yall know me and I have a few questions. I only had sex once when I
was raped and Im with a guy who will be visiting soon. Im not saying we
will have sex but how do I show my openness without looking slutty? What
is a subtle hint of saying that we can do stuff but not to much

I think you should be honest with him about your past, and explain that
you're not entirely sure you're ready to go too far yet. If he cares
about you, he will understand that you have good reasons for not wanting
to rush into things. If he gets mad because he thinks you're not
cooperating, then he was never going to be any good for you in the first
place.

This is really not the time for subtlety. It's a time for communication
and honesty. This will also tell you a lot about the sincerity of his
feelings for you.

If he starts playfully laying hints you play along with him.When your
comfortable tell him you would like too or just start touching his
arm,leg and give him a light kiss.

lex is right. i have a lot of female friends, and they often come to me
for relationship advice (not sure why; i've been single for 3 years,
wouldn't they be better off asking someone who's actually in a
relationship?) and i always give them the same advice: "tell him what
you just told me."

Thanks for the advice I just am nervous you know how it is. I mean I was
raped and made to feel it was all my fault

MB -- they come to you because you give good advice, plain and simple.
I've been following your depression thread, and you've nailed it there.

In Stephy's situation -- I know girls who have been in similar
circumstances, met a guy, the guy gets a little aggressive, the girl has
a rape flashback, there's yelling and screaming and things get really
bad. It's a scenario to be avoided at all costs, and I think this
requires communication and honesty.

just be yourself!! don't worry about nothing else, if you be yourself,
you will be fine, and just enjoy it girl!!!

What happened was NOT your fault. no one has the right to lay hands on
anyone else in violence. Rape is not about sex it is about control &
violence. Need to call otu the JSH hit squad.

Steph only you'll know when you're ready. If you're "with" this guy you
need to be honest with him and tell him. Don't play games with him or
yourself on this one. Keep things honest and you'll be just fine.
Timing's everything.

thank you all. Being a victim of rape is not good. Its hard to get over
for its taken five years but I am finally over it mostly. Still skiddish
but I think I will be for a long long time

things always take time.. if your ready i'm sure it will fall together
but rushing will either bring up those bad memories or just make the
night awkward.

Just stay true to yourself Steph. Like I said before, timing is
everything.

yeah I know it is all about timming

Stephy only do what feels right to you at the moment if it gets to the
point you need to stop do so if he is any kind of a man he will
understand and will know what to do and all your worries will go away so
don't let that even bother you or make you nervous a good lover is a
sweet lover and caring with there partner.

Look at it this way, you've been strong enough to make it this far. The
rest is your choice.

I love him alot. Its kinda scary how fast I have fallen in love with
him. He is my other half I think. I know I know take it slow.

Just keep you're head about you on that one kiddo...See what you feel
when you meet face to face..

hi.. make sure first that you are cofortable.. enjoy yourself and the
company of the other person.. no one rarely knows who a night is going
to end up like.. let things flow and I am sure you will be fine.. and
it's ok to say no just as easy it is to say yes if you are not ready..
have fun he will respect that and if not, well he was the right guy
anyway..

yep what hotstuff said

I think everyone pretty much said it all.
Hope you have a marvelous time