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| Topic: was i right?? | |
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Today i helped a friend of mine actually he is my AA sponser..i felt like i was sponsering him but thats what it all about..his wife is the most abusive women i ever met in my life ..constinaly cutting him down in front of his friends in front of me.. but this was going on all day...i asked him how do you do .. he says he ignores half of it ..well me being inrecovery i wouldnt tolerate any crap .. from anyone...i rreally wanted to say something to his wife but felt like it was none of my business.. do you think i was right not to say anything?? You're looking to him for guidance on how to stay sober and maybe even grow a little bit, not sponsor your sponsor. If you really don't like what's going on, fire him. That'll show him. Page 98 of that book you're obviously using to hold that coffee table up says something about "regardless of anything or anyone". Perhaps if you worked a good inventory on yourself, the conflict between your sponsor and his wife would be in proper perspective, IOW, none of your business. |
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thanks i feel i did the right thing ..i always follow my gut and my gut said .. "shut up steve" Good answer!   
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well im blunt..... i may have said something like perhaps... wow you seem very angry at him...i hope your life gets happier
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Edited by
buttons
on
Fri 06/27/08 03:09 PM
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the reason i say that is.... some people thrive off of being above the other partner... maybe perhaps this is why she is the way she is... not sure though... cause hes doing better now and feeling better about hisself may bring her down.. sad to say.... she should be proud of his accomplishments... and be approaced in a positive way not negetive way about her going on all day long...... everyone should be wished the best and to feel good about their selves..... maybe she doesnt realize it and only remembers the past i dunno....
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true, but this is about steve, not his sponsor...citizen joe in the post above you hit the nail right on the head..
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well yes it is but when you become close and just cause he is his sponsor why would he treat him anything less than a good friend?
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after all sponsors cant live a perfectly perfect life either.... they are only human..... nothing wrong with being possitive and having a friend... friends are supposed to be there for each other and why cause one is a sponsor should the other one become less human?
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live and let live, stevil..not your issue..take care of yourself first, foremost and above all else..grats, btw! Steve no matter how hard it was it was the right thing. All it would have done is caused problems between you and him. He needs a friend and she would isolate you from that friendship if you had said anything. Sounds like to me he needs someone to help him with his self esteem and then maybe he could stand up and say Hidos Amigo!! 
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ps ... i respect joes opionion..... i know hes looking for guidence and this type of treatment could cause someone to use the excuse to drink again.... but not to say something to his friend but to say something to his wife in a nice way....
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true, but this is about steve, not his sponsor...citizen joe in the post above you hit the nail right on the head.. Nothing special, really, if you have a 5 lb brass hammer. In my bluntness, I forgot to mention that his sponsor seems to stay sober regardless of what his wife says and does. Perhaps that is a fine example of someone in recovery too, "regardless of anyone". p.98 . What would be particularly fun tonight, assuming steve goes to a meeting is to be a bug on a wall and hear what he says about this wonderful experience in recovery. I have a habit of encourging my favorite expression, several times a day ... "f****** joe" 
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hi buttons....because a good AA sponsor doesn't tell you the things you want to hear..he gives you the tools to help you maintain a quality sobriety, especially early on in the sponsor/pigeon relationship..he's not there to be a friend...please don't misunderstand..i'm not saying he can't BE a friend, but all in due course...my AA sponsor is now my best friend, but that all grew over the course of time..before he became my friend, he was, in fact, my sponsor...and believe me, at times, i hated his guts...but i knew he had what i needed to hear at the time
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i mean sometimes as a woman... its nice to hear something in a possitive point of view keep it short... and possitive .. good to have a reminder sometimes... i mean a hint and then to go think about it as the woman might do... she might not realize how bad she sounds if no one else hints in a nice way to her....
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true, but this is about steve, not his sponsor...citizen joe in the post above you hit the nail right on the head.. Nothing special, really, if you have a 5 lb brass hammer. In my bluntness, I forgot to mention that his sponsor seems to stay sober regardless of what his wife says and does. Perhaps that is a fine example of someone in recovery too, "regardless of anyone". p.98 . What would be particularly fun tonight, assuming steve goes to a meeting is to be a bug on a wall and hear what he says about this wonderful experience in recovery. I have a habit of encourging my favorite expression, several times a day ... "f****** joe" |
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hi buttons....because a good AA sponsor doesn't tell you the things you want to hear..he gives you the tools to help you maintain a quality sobriety, especially early on in the sponsor/pigeon relationship..he's not there to be a friend...please don't misunderstand..i'm not saying he can't BE a friend, but all in due course...my AA sponsor is now my best friend, but that all grew over the course of time..before he became my friend, he was, in fact, my sponsor...and believe me, at times, i hated his guts...but i knew he had what i needed to hear at the time and maybe he should tell his friend look i dont like that.... i care about you and feel you dont deserve that type of treatment.... cause i sure could not handle that... and i need to find someone that has everything i want to have in life... cause i need to stay strong... and that type of treatment would not make me feel strong as it may do to you... i care about you as a person and will be there for you buddy. but i feel i need a different mentor...
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hi buttons....because a good AA sponsor doesn't tell you the things you want to hear..he gives you the tools to help you maintain a quality sobriety, especially early on in the sponsor/pigeon relationship..he's not there to be a friend...please don't misunderstand..i'm not saying he can't BE a friend, but all in due course...my AA sponsor is now my best friend, but that all grew over the course of time..before he became my friend, he was, in fact, my sponsor...and believe me, at times, i hated his guts...but i knew he had what i needed to hear at the time and maybe he should tell his friend look i dont like that.... i care about you and feel you dont deserve that type of treatment.... cause i sure could not handle that... and i need to find someone that has everything i want to have in life... cause i need to stay strong... and that type of treatment would not make me feel strong as it may do to you... i care about you as a person and will be there for you buddy. but i feel i need a different mentor... ...and i would strongly agree with that 
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"Live and let live".........NOT! You did the right thing speaking to him.... speak to your sponsor too..... BTW: She could be ruining his sobriety, as well as life.... How ya doin' man?!  That's not how it works. I can't blame anyone not wearing my underware... Wait that doesn't work...  I can't blame anyone but myself for my sobriety, or lack thereof. Not successfully, anyway.  Is it me, or is there a subconscious urge to tag that rofl icon, even though close is enough?
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<<<<...in spite of myself
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