Oftentimes, we keep repeating patterns that feel like "love" to us because that is what we experienced or witnessed early on in life. Or perhaps our very first love relationships were like that. Who knows why people repeat patterns. For some, it may be that they are trying to "make it right or fix it this time" - the repetition compulsion; to others, it is what feels familiar, safe, passionate, like love at first. Many of us are emotionally unavailable ourselves, so these kinds of partners seem "safer". They seem to give us the space we need. Unfortunately, it is not the mutuality that genuine love springs from.

Many of us are older. We are not changing anytime soon and we must adjust our expectations to what is realistic for us to attain and give in terms of mutuality. In terms of interdependence. Finding that balance is so precarious. Not too much dependence, not too little. Some of us aren't changing our ways any time soon. Too much time has passed. How do we strike a happy medium? Find a satisfactory balance. We are all perfect in our imperfection. It is really just about finding the best fit, the best match for each one of us in our perfect imperfection. I do believe there is someone out there for everyone. Whether or not we ever find them is the question.