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| Topic: Friends with benefits | |
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Used to have a friend with benefits, but it was short lived, he decided he needed to tell me he loved me
 wasn't part of the deal. But I was younger then and wasn't ready to settle down
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This question keeps coming up.
I think there is more of this happening, than most will admit. I think age, finances, children & responsibilities has a lot of bearing on this. Bottom line to me; if you are open from the start, DISCUSS the downside or what will happen if one of you get involved elsewhere, then "what happens behind closed doors, is NOBODIES business." "Judge not, least you be judged." I guarantee you one thing, I for one would want to be with someone I know, QUITE well, rather than a stranger. I need to trust anyone I sleep with. To many things out there that will kill you. Friends with Benefits, look at it from out side the box. You might find your ideas change. |
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been there done that and it dont work ! some one always get's hurt in the end ! yep, pretty much. not a good idea. |
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friends with benefits never work out. The concept of this is to hard. Perhaps one person is only looking for sex, but sooner or later the intimacy that is involved with sexual encounters grows on one of the parties, therefore, resulting in feelings and more than just friends with benefits.. aka don't do it either you'll like her, or she'll like you, if all you want is sex get a sex toy ... otherwise please realize that when you have sex with others you risk your life with stds, aids, pregnancy, etc... sex isn't just a game.
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i can see no benefits to having a friend with benefits. except that a person gets sex. meaningless sex why does sex have to mean anything except pleasure??? That kind of thinking is why STDs are so out of control No, the kind of thinking that has STD's out of control are people who vow to not have 'sex' until there wedding, and don't count oral and anal as breaking that vow, and thus go do alot of that. In my expierence, most the people that view sex as just for pleasure and fun, are pretty safe, get tested and let people know if they get an STD. In my expierence, the majority of STD's seem to be passed around by girls or guys that go from one guy/girl to the next, on a voyage of insanity and confusion. Back onto the topic. I think friends with bennies is fine. It's just not for me personally. I think both party's would need to believe that sex doesn't mean anything, and that having sex doesn't mean your getting closer. |
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Youth say "No"
Wonder what will be said if single at 50 & beyond. |
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thats a really really bad idea, you will shorly to fall for the person. and they can be inlove with some one eles it will not work..
been there done that..
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I myself have never done this. I would think that if you had sex with that one person, sooner or later someone would develope feelings. So, in the end, someone would end up getting hurt
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anyone ever seen the movie the notebook? The chick noah ditched to be with his love was the friend with benifits. I always felt bad for her.
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i can see no benefits to having a friend with benefits. except that a person gets sex. meaningless sex why does sex have to mean anything except pleasure??? You have obviously not had sex that was other than just physical pleasure or you would know the answer to this question without asking. The difference in getting laid and making love with someone you are head over heels in love with is like comparing the heat of a candle's flame to the sun... And while there is nothing wrong with physical release Friends with benefits never works on a whole. At least not that I have ever seen. Someone always ends up hurt or feeling used. Or one will move on to a love relationship then you have lost a friend because of the awkwardness of having slept with this person and trying to keep them included in your life with your significant other just ain't happening in most cases. If you just need sex don't use a friend even if it is a mutual "use". You will both regret it somewhere down the line....jmo I agree totally. If you want to throw away your friendship then go there. If you want to keep your friend then don't listen to the urge. Sex should not be something we do just to get the physical sensations, though there are way too many guys out there who think like that... With sex comes emotions and attachments, and unless you are willing to go with them, someone is going to get hurt. I could never have sex with someone I didn't love. I'm not sure I would even want to do it unless there was some sort of commitment there. For me that is why I don't have sex. I like to "make love" to a woman, and have her make love back to me. Maybe that's why I have only done it with one person before...  The emotions for me are just as important as the physical sensations. I wouldn't want to have one without the other, because they complement each other so perfectly, just like a man and a woman who are meant to be together can complement each other. If you can put all of those things together in one package you're two very lucky people indeed. JMHO 
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i can see no benefits to having a friend with benefits. except that a person gets sex. meaningless sex why does sex have to mean anything except pleasure??? You have obviously not had sex that was other than just physical pleasure or you would know the answer to this question without asking. The difference in getting laid and making love with someone you are head over heels in love with is like comparing the heat of a candle's flame to the sun... And while there is nothing wrong with physical release Friends with benefits never works on a whole. At least not that I have ever seen. Someone always ends up hurt or feeling used. Or one will move on to a love relationship then you have lost a friend because of the awkwardness of having slept with this person and trying to keep them included in your life with your significant other just ain't happening in most cases. If you just need sex don't use a friend even if it is a mutual "use". You will both regret it somewhere down the line....jmo I agree totally. If you want to throw away your friendship then go there. If you want to keep your friend then don't listen to the urge. Sex should not be something we do just to get the physical sensations, though there are way too many guys out there who think like that... With sex comes emotions and attachments, and unless you are willing to go with them, someone is going to get hurt. I could never have sex with someone I didn't love. I'm not sure I would even want to do it unless there was some sort of commitment there. For me that is why I don't have sex. I like to "make love" to a woman, and have her make love back to me. Maybe that's why I have only done it with one person before... The emotions for me are just as important as the physical sensations. I wouldn't want to have one without the other, because they complement each other so perfectly, just like a man and a woman who are meant to be together can complement each other. If you can put all of those things together in one package you're two very lucky people indeed. JMHO And though i personally agree with your post for me, i don't think everyone is like that. I know both girls and guys that enjoy sex and don't have an emotional attachment. They are out there. Think of keyswaping party's. I think it's far more dependant on the persons views on sex and knowing themselfs. |
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 Friends are friends! Once you cross the line it changes your friendship forever, been there done that, you never look at them or treat them the same way again!
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