If after an 11 yr relationship, where you gave up just about everything you had, you found out your other half was cheating. So you confront her (or him) and they deny it and deny it and deny it.. but you know theres something going on.. so you ask the person to leave your home..(so you can absorb everything)and they move in that night with the person you suspected them of cheating with? To top it off.... they live less then a mile from me where I have to pass everyday.. so I get to see her SUV there,his car there. How would you feel??
Would you be angry, hurt, or jealous??
Would you want to stop and confront them?
Would you be depressed.. or relieved?

Its been 3 weeks now.. and yes shes made contact with me.. yes shes admitted to it. Shes only known this person 1 month. Shes told me how much she loves him,and how much he loves her...she had the odacity to tell me how much sex they have.. etc.. Ive put a stop to her contacting me.. havent heard from her since last Thursday..
But I still hurt.. Im still angry... but having to pass them everyday is what kills...

now.. how would you be feeling??

you got the stinky end of the stick.Hang in there.

You will have all of those emotions, but in time it will all be better!!

been there done that...i just walk away to avoid any future dramatization...

they deserve each other, sorry that happened to you.

Wow, that has got to be hard to deal with. But (and I know this is easier said then done) you need to figure out a way to get past it. The more you let it get to you, the harder it will be to get over her and the pain she has caused you. If there is a different route you can take so you don't have to see her, then take it. Just until you can finally get over the pain. I'm sure this has got to be hard times for you but you'll pull through!!

I am so very sorry that you are having to go through this. People who have never been betrayed this way do not know just how very much it hurts and can harm. It sounds like you were ready to see the truth right away. Some people live in denial of their partner's cheating for months, even years. Most of the time, the cheating is a product of problems in the relationship; a symptom, if you will. However, in a sad number of cases, the person had a past of cheating, or a roving eye - and continues to have this need. Who knows why, There are as many reasons as there are people. The deception and dishonesty is what hurts the most, especially when they are confronted and they deny, deny, deny. How can trust ever be regained if they continue, yet lie about it.

You already confronted her. I know you are very angry, feel hurt, lied to, betrayed, diminished. Take the higher ground, though. If she is talking this way about him and the relationship, she probably used the affair to end yours. I'm glad she admitted it, but if she had no intentions of working it out with you and leaving him, then it was just hurtful.

I would be very angry, very hurt, and very jealous. I would be depressed, yet relieved to finally know....although that is a mixed bag. It is not something I could get over easily, especially after 11 years.

Actually, I had something very similar happen to me. So, I feel your pain.

It is so important to me to be with someone loyal, reliable, and possessing of both honesty and personal integrity. It is vital.

After you have been lied to and had your trust broken like this, it is hard enough to trust anyone. Factor into it a partner that may have had a past with infidelity and/or deceit; factor into it that there may be still a need to be desired by many; factor in the frailty of the human condition when it comes to temptation - and it can make you a bundle of nerves.

Take time to heal. I send positive thoughts and wishes. I hope your next partner has none of the undesirable qualities listed above and all of the desirable qualities you most seek in a mate.

Love & Light ~

two words O.J.
or think of her as a skank not worthy of u...never cheat i have dumped chix to go out with others but i have never cheated....good ridance take it in a good way,at least u didnt get the clap!!!

Wow!! The best thing you can do is not have contact with her, this way you can have time to heal. I think the best medicine for this situation is time...they say time heals all.
Honestly, as much as it hurt you...I think it will help you in the end that she admitted to cheating. When people deny things, it makes you feel like you need an answer to why. But since she admitted to cheating now you can actually start the healing process. Theres going to be days where you will be mad, confused, hurt and so many different emotions that you will go through....thats just part of it.
I wish you luck and strength

that has got to be so devastating for you...WHAT a piece of work!! I think the worst thing someone can do to you is to betray your trust...and sounds like she's reached Nirvana on that point. Unfortunately, prison is filled with guys that couldn't handle these type of emotions....but on the other hand I very much believe in karma, and what goes around comes around. Sounds like her new beau might cheat on her, too...and she'll get exactly what she deserves.

I wish you love and all the best...

a better you and that burn her in her heart deeper than any words you can say...let her see how much happier you are.

I give you a TON of credit for being as mature and level-headed as you are in your post -- you must be reeling and my heart goes out to you.

agreed, totally agreed...

Well my emotions don't affect me the same way they would others, so I would probably be a bit at odd with the whole thing for a minute (hour or so) then I would shrug it off.

I have to thank all of you for your words of wisdom and encouragement. It is in times like these where you feel theres not much hope... you set and try to come up with answers.. did I do this wrong.. did I do that wrong... but in all honesty.. I treated her as best I could under the circumstance. She did this before.. but that time she moved 1300 miles away thinking she was going to be "taken care of" the rest of her life. I guess he came to his senses and saw her inner beauty was no where near her outter beauty.. and she is a beautiful girl..(I refuse to use the word lady) She begged me for forgiveness that time.. and I broke down afer a while and invited her back this past March. I tried taking care of her.. hell. I went through almost 150k of my savings the past 3 yrs, Guess she realized she drained almost all of it and I had little left for her and decided to go on to the "next" one. Little does he know what hes in store for.. you cannot change the stripes on a lion. I hope she gets what she deserves.. maybe then Ill feel a little better.. but again.. thank you guys so so much!

I'm so sorry she used you this way. She scammed you; used you as a patsy. Was she on drugs, by any chance? Its not the first time I have heard of something like this happening. Take care never to allow it to happen again. It is something I will never permit to happen to me or mine.

So you trusted to give her another chance and she betrayed that trust again. She caused you to go through all your savings. What a piece of work she is. Again, I am sorry you are hurting so. Being betrayed and having our trust violated is perhaps one of the worst things that can happen to us in life.

I agree with everything angel said .. adding one note

Take comfort in the fact:

((((((((( KARMA'S a B*TCH ))))))))))

Been there - done that.

Sorry you have to endure this pain and grief, but God must have something more instore for you and your future. Have faith and know that you can and will get past this!

I have such peace in where I am in my life, but I had to endure much pain and anguish, in order to get here.

Best of luck to you!

It sucks big time. For 11 years, you were involved with her, gave your all to her, did all you could for her.....and then BAM......this sh*t happens. Dude, you are not alone (as you no doubt have seen by the responses in this thread). It sucks because you feel that you just wasted those 11 years for nothing. And all because she decided to be unfaithful. Funny (but not literally) how one simple act can ruin years of work.

One bright spot here is that you now know. It will take time to deal with it and move on. It will hurt for a long time as well. But the thing is that you cannot allow this to beat you. Do grieve. Battle with all the emotions that you will face. But also remember that there will be someone out there who IS meant for you....who will treat ya good....and who will give just as much as you give. For about two years, I didn't even want to think about finding someone else. I came here just to try it out and see what happened, but I never really felt I would find someone to be with. But that all changed once I met my girlfriend, and I can honestly say that I believe she and I just go together. The same can happen for you.

I dont want ppl here thinking Im looking for pitty.. Im not..Im only trying to figure out why someone could do this.
She came here this morning again.. unannounced, claiming she left something here. I gave her one minute to find whatever it is she was looking for.. what a mistake that was. During that minute she commented how she doesnt miss me(which is fine by me)
Claimed again how happy she is. Commented on another one of my good friends. I personally think shes out to ruin that friendship too.. she already ruined the friendship I had for 27 yrs with my used to be best friend. Hes tried getting some from her a yr ago.. while she and I were sleeping in bed. Oh,, and she said he spent the nite last nite with her and her bf. She loved stabbing that into me. loves that she ruined that friendship.
I guess Im just venting here. Maybe I should stop for now. Im still shaking from this mornings episode.