hey vanessa... the laws varry state to state... were i used to live he
could take the kids no matter the cirmstances if hte wanted to, but
where i live now, whoever is in possission of the kids has the rite to
do whatever they wish... you NEED to check oyur states specific laws, as
well as the laws in teh state you will be moving to. a number of lawyers
will give you a free consultation, or try legal aide for this, but just
up and leaving could be VERY bad, depending on yhour state specific
laws.... (i called my sis who is a lawyer to verify the facts on this...
but she didnt know the specifics for either of your two states, and cant
technicaly give advice across state lines.... )

hope this helps..

good advice Lizzie

oops sorry izzie... lol did not mean to mispell ya name

thank you every one you have been a great help!

Hpoe everythign works out well vanessa

Just go for it. Move up to your parent's place and save some money.
You'll have a lot more emotional support and your baby will get
attention from lots of people who will love her. Any court that doesn't
like that would have to go through a lot of trouble to change anything
because you are not restricted from living wherever you want, unless
there is a prior court order. Since you're not in court for divorce yet,
you are free of that. Sometimes it is better to do what you need and
then deal with whatever comes next, than to beg for permission to have
your own rights. Begging always gives someone the opportunity to say no.
Get on the bus Gus, make a new plan Stan, and go for it.

Oh yeah, oldsage gave some good advice about filing as soon as you get
moved. But you may find you have to live within the new state for a
minimum period of time before they can have jurisdiction. So you might
get moved and have to wait some 6 months or so. But the earlier you can
file in the new state the better. There are social services to help with
costs. If your guy is not taking care of you, you need to do it
yourself.

Lulu is right too, If he files court proceedings first, he can prevent
you from moving. Go fast, before he has a chance to prevent you.

Just be sure you know what you want to do and do that.

good advixe philosopher, but she still needs to check her current states
laws, caus edepending on the state, if he files first and she has
already moved he can actually have her ordered to either move back to
him or bring thier child back to him until the divorce has been heard
and whatnot. It's screwed up I agree, but some states are like that.
So the best advise for now is to double check with a local lawyer (not
police) and then do everything you legally can towards moving away, and
filing divorce.

Vanessa...I like your name, by the way

You may move as you are not restricted by any court order. However until
you gain residency in NY, you are still a resident in GA, thus if he
files papers, you will be compelled to return to GA for hearings as they
would hold jurisdiction.

You are NOT kidnapping your child. You are the natural parent thus you
have rights until a court orders otherwise. That being said, as the
natural father, he, too, has rights that are equal to yours.

If you do move successfully, it is typical for the moving parent to have
the burden of visitation costs. It also makes you look as though you are
attempting to keep the father from his child...not a good thing to put
in front of a judge. There are many who still give Gardner credit in his
theory of Parental Alienation Syndrome as evidenced by case law.

Please consult an atty before you make any decision as they are aware of
local statutes, judges, etc. Look up legal aid in your area.

Good luck,
V.

vanessa you got some very sound advice. Here in TN they will help with
custody issues at legal aide IF you are going thru a divorce. If its
just custody your on your own financially. Trust me, i just laid down an
OBSCENE AMOUNT of money. My ex was an abuser and sadly the only way left
to keep his abuse going is thru the family courts/custody battles. This
makes #5. Here in hillbillyhell...(sorry fanta) (my
hometown) this is how the courts make their money. BIG MONEY! If the
woman has no legal counsel she loses custody. Imagine NOT being married
to this wonderful wanker i call my ex.
Look in the phone book in your town, see a lawyer under family law and
they will all see you for free on the first visit or at least most will.
PLEASE! Trust me when i say do NOT move to tennessee. This state is
horrible. I remember you saying you have medical problems and i have
endured 30 surgerys during all these custody battles and the judge could
not have cared less. Its been a tough road but i stand proud and
continue to keep my child. Pigs will fly b4 he is subjected to an
abuser. His dad is NOT real active in his life. Only the basic
visitation the judge ORDERED HIM TO or every 2 weeks for that weekend
visit. GA is pretty liberal about letting you move but please do this
legally and did i mention DONT move here to tennessee?!LOL

The responses after mine were well on point,and they persuade me that
you should in fact consult with an attorney before moving.

On the other hand, perhaps I'm a bit impetuous and have a little
daredevil risk taker in side of me. I figure it like this. If the father
is not contributing or participating, he will be unlikely to file
lawsuits as quickly as if he were an active parent. So this gives you
more likelihood of making it through the time needed to qualify for New
York jurisdiction.

One other issue is the cost of litigation. If your spouse is not
contributing to the expenses of your child, it probably means he does
not have a large amount of funds available for lawyers and courts. You
might be able to cajole him with simple reassurances and keep it out of
the courts for long enough for you to have the upper hand in another
state court system.

The trump here, as I see it is the care for your baby. If you have a
support structure with your family in New York, and no support structure
where you are, then you and the baby are better off with your family.
This gives you a lot more flexibility with your life overall. It may
help you further your education and get a better job, and it certainly
can help you provide for your family in the interim.