Community > Dating & Relationships

Topic: Let's ask the audience...
Lily0923 Joined Sun 12/02/07 Posts: 20429	Sun 06/15/08 07:42 PM
Do you have a choice as to if you fall in love? Can you make a choice not to fall in love? Absolutely, happiness is a choice, you either chose it or you don't.

seahawks Joined Thu 01/11/07 Posts: 16735	Sun 06/15/08 07:42 PM
it wasnt by choice but my love is for lexmiester, not because he's a hawks fan, just because he's himself.!!!

steelersgirltina Joined Thu 01/31/08 Posts: 4792	Sun 06/15/08 07:46 PM
i dont know if you can help fallin into love. but if there is a wall with the other person it makes it so much worse!

Lily0923 Joined Sun 12/02/07 Posts: 20429	Sun 06/15/08 07:48 PM
Maybe I'm too logical, but I don't think you HAVE to fall in love with anyone. It's a nice "romantic" idea but I think love is very misunderstood.

seahawks Joined Thu 01/11/07 Posts: 16735	Sun 06/15/08 07:48 PM
i dont know if you can help fallin into love. but if there is a wall with the other person it makes it so much worse! well i just couldnt see eye to eye with this one gal, then i tasted her cookin, then i fell in love.!!!

LexFonteyne Joined Thu 12/07/06 Posts: 32131	Sun 06/15/08 07:48 PM
it wasnt by choice but my love is for lexmiester, not because he's a hawks fan, just because he's himself.!!! Seahawk, thank you! Much appreciated! And I will not be a Chicago Blackhawks fan until they realize that it's hard to win a hockey game unless you score at least ONE goal! (The Wolves are a hell of a lot more fun to watch!)

PATSFAN Joined Mon 12/10/07 Posts: 42782	Sun 06/15/08 07:48 PM
Hmm, I think so.

WhoIAm Joined Sun 01/13/08 Posts: 3909	Sun 06/15/08 07:49 PM
Do you have a choice as to if you fall in love? Can you make a choice not to fall in love? If you let it happen, it's not a choice. But you do have the choice to fight it and not let it happen.

seahawks Joined Thu 01/11/07 Posts: 16735	Sun 06/15/08 07:49 PM
it wasnt by choice but my love is for lexmiester, not because he's a hawks fan, just because he's himself.!!! Seahawk, thank you! Much appreciated! And I will not be a Chicago Blackhawks fan until they realize that it's hard to win a hockey game unless you score at least ONE goal! (The Wolves are a hell of a lot more fun to watch!) oh ya cut me deep , yup ya only hurt the ones ya love.!!!!! smartass .!!!!

feralcatlady Joined Mon 10/08/07 Posts: 35491	Sun 06/15/08 07:51 PM
Do you have a choice as to if you fall in love? Can you make a choice not to fall in love? I think -- if you really try, and you really want to make yourself believe it -- you can sort of talk yourself out of it. I mean, it's not honest, it's a deception, but people can fool themselves into thinking things that aren't true. That's the whole basis for the advertising industry. People who have any sense of internal self-integrity won't try to lie to themselves, though. It is what it is, as Kerry Wood said before his arm fell off. Honestly what is the purpose of that....to not get hurt......biiiiishawwwwaaa......Life is full of hurt and I see it over and over and over again...People afraid and putting up their walls as to not get hurt. Take them down brick by brick is what I tell them. Your not living if you put up the walls, and to guard yourself from falling in love is a shame and a waste imo. Just because you were hurt, you keep the walls up and you could be missing out on the soulmate that was truly meant for you. Again because of what I do I see this over and over and if I can get through to people with thick skulls and they listen......guess what folks they find that true love....and then they thank me for being so honest and blunt and not taking their utter crap.......

tanyaann Joined Mon 12/03/07 Posts: 32220	Sun 06/15/08 07:54 PM
Ok, I guess I'll finally wage in.... I think that there is lust at first sight or infatuation. But, falling in love is not something that you can choose. It is something that happens when you very clearly know that the person that you are falling for can see into your heart. It is comforting, calming, peaceful, joyful and REAL! You can tell yourself not to fall, but it doesn't mean that you aren't falling. You can choose not to tell or lie to yourself (like lex said) but you are still falling. Falling in love is very different from puppy love, you are sure about it. There are no doubts in your mind about how you feel about the other person and you just pray that they feel the same way. If you guard your heart, then it just makes it more painful to endure the falling. jmo.

feralcatlady Joined Mon 10/08/07 Posts: 35491	Sun 06/15/08 07:57 PM
applause applause....

tanyaann Joined Mon 12/03/07 Posts: 32220	Sun 06/15/08 08:00 PM
applause applause.... oh did i say something right?

CyPoet Joined Fri 01/11/08 Posts: 12494	Sun 06/15/08 08:01 PM
I truly believe that 1 is left choice less for these are matters of the heart which produce very powerful emotions & feelings to wards another.As far as prevention is concerned well that can become an intricate barrier due to a failed marriage or prev.relationships that have left a bitter taste in your mouth along w/pain & or abuse suffered in the past.Fear of re-occurrence can be a very powerful obstacle to overcome sadly.(imo)

Lily0923 Joined Sun 12/02/07 Posts: 20429	Sun 06/15/08 08:01 PM
In the Zen and Dharma teaching they teach mind over matter, and those who cannot control their emotions never reach Nirvana.

brooke007 Joined Sat 10/13/07 Posts: 5469	Sun 06/15/08 08:04 PM
Do you have a choice as to if you fall in love? Can you make a choice not to fall in love? fallin in love.. i think its a choice... but really idk...im just guessing...

hikerchick Joined Sat 12/22/07 Posts: 13206	Sun 06/15/08 08:05 PM
In the Zen and Dharma teaching they teach mind over matter, and those who cannot control their emotions never reach Nirvana. It's so funny hearing you say that after the talk we just had...

Lily0923 Joined Sun 12/02/07 Posts: 20429	Sun 06/15/08 08:07 PM
In the Zen and Dharma teaching they teach mind over matter, and those who cannot control their emotions never reach Nirvana. It's so funny hearing you say that after the talk we just had... I didn't say I was anywhere near that point I simply said that is what they teach... I'm on that path, I've made great strides in life, emotionless is Nirvana, and who doesn't want Nirvana?

Flarob Joined Sat 09/29/07 Posts: 6127	Sun 06/15/08 08:14 PM
I think sometimes you do have the choice..and sometimes you just can't help but fall in love Perhaps you do have a choice. Usually tho it just happens and and one day you realize it. Then there is - Love at first sight - Happened to my wife and I, suprised us both and lasted 15 wonderful years till she passed away last year.

feralcatlady Joined Mon 10/08/07 Posts: 35491	Sun 06/15/08 08:23 PM
Ok, I guess I'll finally wage in.... I think that there is lust at first sight or infatuation. But, falling in love is not something that you can choose. It is something that happens when you very clearly know that the person that you are falling for can see into your heart. It is comforting, calming, peaceful, joyful and REAL! You can tell yourself not to fall, but it doesn't mean that you aren't falling. You can choose not to tell or lie to yourself (like lex said) but you are still falling. Falling in love is very different from puppy love, you are sure about it. There are no doubts in your mind about how you feel about the other person and you just pray that they feel the same way. If you guard your heart, then it just makes it more painful to endure the falling. jmo. yes the applause was for my baby girl's answer....it was perfect just like you.....gigglesnort.