Prefaced with this has nothing to do with anyone here or myself. It really is about 2 friends.


They are both great people. Nice, kind funny. They have dated on and off for about a year give or take. When they break up they say it's because "it" isn't there. (Their words). Both will tell me that the other is a great person etc but that they want more out of a relationship. They want a real connection, a real chemistry. They keep getting back together and giving it "another try". Do you think this is wise? Do you think you can Make something be there if this "it" they keep saying they are looking for, isn't? I hate seeing them keep hurting.

Thanx

if they keep going back to each other then obviously there is something there

If they really want to , they can!!

yeppers

Sounds like the sex is the only "it" they have otherwise they wouldn't have a problem being together.

No it prolly is not there, they want it to be, but if they stay together they will prolly always be searching for the "it"...

That is what I think too. I think this "it" they speak of is either there or it isn't. Something about the on again off again thing that bothers me.

That would be friends with benefits and they are taking full advantage of it until the other finds someone they want to be with.

Perhap's they should forget about the "it". Maybe they have had something deeper than a mere spark. A spark is a part of getting closer. Maybe they wonder about skipping that part, not having had it. They need to recognize what they DO HAVE. And, create some fire!

Been there, done that... or are you just wise? (=


She's right. Obviously THEY have a connection they can't fully wrap their arms around. Good luck to them. Have fun being in the middle!

maybe they can't define "it"



therefore , unaware that they really do have it

Obviously there is a connection!

Purdybird do you talk purdybird

Maybe they feel it's better to be with someone you can live with until they find someone they can LOVE with.

It is always best to stay out of other people's relationships, even when you mean well. Trust me, you can get badly burned.

Well I'm not "in" their relationship. I'm just getting the stories which go something along the lines of , I just can't let him go we're addicted....and he says she's great but "it" isn't there and I want that spark.

I've done the on again off again thing for close to 3 years once and finally realized as much as some people say, if they keep going back, Something is there, the reverse is also true. They keep breaking up. They will have to see it thru, one way or the other.

I was just curious if y'all thought if this "IT" isn't there, can it be made to be there.

Thanks for the input..I'll pass it along

sounds like all "IT" is now is just good sex with a known and trusted person....

That's what I'm thinking too actually.