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Topic: ok.... fess up....
tanyaann's photo
Tue 06/10/08 10:27 PM


You have been talking to someone for a while, things seem to be great... you finally decided to meet and you aren't physically attracted to them.

How do you think the other person feels? Is this just being shallow? Is it a personal problem with yourself? Or do you need to have the physical attraction to make a relationship work? Are physical characteristics discussed before meeting? Yeah, all that good stuff. Discuss amongst yourselves.


In my opinion. Most do need some kind of physical attration. Mind you i said most and i'm one of them. And no it's not being shallow, No one should ever go and meet somone with expections, but it happens all the time. I have seen people say it don't matter to me and they been on here as long as i have and thats two years, but there still single. HMMMMMM wonder why?

Be honest with yourself and anyone your talking to or going to meet and things might turn out better then you thinki. I will never promis anyone anything knowning i have not met them. Yes you may share things with them and get all close to and all that. But the truth is when you actually meet.


That was put excellently! thank you for your input!

no photo
Tue 06/10/08 10:35 PM

You have been talking to someone for a while, things seem to be great... you finally decided to meet and you aren't physically attracted to them.

How do you think the other person feels? Is this just being shallow? Is it a personal problem with yourself? Or do you need to have the physical attraction to make a relationship work? Are physical characteristics discussed before meeting? Yeah, all that good stuff. Discuss amongst yourselves.


Basically put, you've been made the victim of "on-line first expectations". That's where you get an idea on what your on-line interest MIGHT look like or BE like personality-wise. As will sometimes, those expectations end up being ANYTHING but what you expected, and chances are they're for the worst.

Whether being shallow has anything to do with things may or may not be the case- it's more a matter of not getting what you expected.

PublicAnimalNo9's photo
Tue 06/10/08 11:32 PM
Been there..done that...got the damn T-shirt.
I'm lucky tho, I'm even better looking than my pic representslaugh
Seriously tho, I have to admit there's been a time or two when after talking to someone on-line I finally got to see what they looked like and went "Yikes".
I'm sorry, but along with personality and good conversation, I need a pretty face to look at, since most time spent in a relationship involves talking.
And to be fair, it's happened to me as well so:tongue: to anyone that says I'm shallowlaugh

bobbyblue's photo
Wed 06/11/08 11:08 AM
Sometimes you vision somebody to not be of you liking so you are disappointed but we all should try and look at it without a physical attraction.

tanyaann's photo
Wed 06/11/08 11:14 AM


You have been talking to someone for a while, things seem to be great... you finally decided to meet and you aren't physically attracted to them.

How do you think the other person feels? Is this just being shallow? Is it a personal problem with yourself? Or do you need to have the physical attraction to make a relationship work? Are physical characteristics discussed before meeting? Yeah, all that good stuff. Discuss amongst yourselves.


Basically put, you've been made the victim of "on-line first expectations". That's where you get an idea on what your on-line interest MIGHT look like or BE like personality-wise. As will sometimes, those expectations end up being ANYTHING but what you expected, and chances are they're for the worst.

Whether being shallow has anything to do with things may or may not be the case- it's more a matter of not getting what you expected.


fyi, it wasn't me, someone else asked me to post it!

beachbum069's photo
Wed 06/11/08 11:24 AM
This happened to me and it wasn't pretty. She used a 10 year old glamour shot for her main pic. When I got to our meeting place I looked right past her and kept walking because she DIDN"T look at all like her pic. She called my name and that is the only reason I stopped. It also turned out the she had cat's. If you can't tell I'm a dog person-allergies suck.

Fade2Black's photo
Wed 06/11/08 11:36 AM

You have been talking to someone for a while, things seem to be great... you finally decided to meet and you aren't physically attracted to them.

How do you think the other person feels? Is this just being shallow? Is it a personal problem with yourself? Or do you need to have the physical attraction to make a relationship work? Are physical characteristics discussed before meeting? Yeah, all that good stuff. Discuss amongst yourselves.



absolutely need the physical attraction .. and I've straight up told them (nicely of course) that we can be friends but I'm just not feelin it.


texastigress's photo
Sat 06/21/08 02:32 AM
It happens. I've had great long emails and phone conversations with men and once we meet...pfffffttttt! Nothing.

Nursenell76's photo
Sat 06/21/08 02:44 AM
It's so much better to have pics of the person before you meet. If there is no chemistry, I don't go any further than just friendly conversation.

no photo
Sat 06/21/08 08:50 PM
BUT, I've had the experience that even if someone seems physically attractive in their photo, there is still no chemistry when we meet. So, it's not about looks........ it's about chemistry.

Kla's photo
Sat 06/21/08 08:54 PM
I've noticed that even if i'm not exactly attracted to someone at first just by looking at them, then i start talking to them and spending time getting to know whats behind their face i usually think they are the most attractive person i've even seen.. or the opposite. So i guess for me its not ALWAYS the looks.. thats just a REALLY nice perk!bigsmile

s1owhand's photo
Sat 06/21/08 09:03 PM
beauty is not only skin deep...

Fade2Black's photo
Sat 06/21/08 09:08 PM

BUT, I've had the experience that even if someone seems physically attractive in their photo, there is still no chemistry when we meet. So, it's not about looks........ it's about chemistry.



oh definitely. and I would never meet someone who didn't have a pic to begin with .. no thanks

but chemistry is between personalities and auras and all kinds of dynamics .. no way you know that til you have an inperson thing to judge by

FUNFELLA's photo
Sun 06/22/08 05:37 AM


BUT, I've had the experience that even if someone seems physically attractive in their photo, there is still no chemistry when we meet. So, it's not about looks........ it's about chemistry.



oh definitely. and I would never meet someone who didn't have a pic to begin with .. no thanks

but chemistry is between personalities and auras and all kinds of dynamics .. no way you know that til you have an inperson thing to judge by
Amen to that...I've met a few women and have yet to get thet warm fuzzy feeling...We do stay in touch but on a friendship level. I agree to let them know so you don't mislead them, just in case they are feeling it.

trace78's photo
Sun 06/22/08 06:18 AM
honestly, there needs to be physical attraction, and i have had all of the instances mentioned on this thread, met and the guy didnt like me, met and i didnt like the guy, met and even though guy wasnt cute, talked to him and found out he was real cool, etc. BUT, if i was to be in a physical relationship, needs to be attraction, hands down. No fun trying to turn something into something its not just because they have a good "personality". Can you have sex with a conversation???indifferent

FETTS61's photo
Sun 06/22/08 06:28 AM
when we as humans meet someone for the first time,be it at a bar,coffee shop,grocery store,internet,etc... its always what catches the eye first,its not shallow,seeing is just the 1st sense that is used in this situation. if im gonna put myself out there and walk up to a woman that ive never net and try to talk to her, ive got to have an attraction first which is physical 99.9% of the timeflowerforyou :smile:

Goofball73's photo
Sun 06/22/08 12:15 PM
You have to have a physical attraction to someone. You can talk and connect, have alot in common and find out things that you don't and be cool with it. You can talk and through emails and on the phone and feel that you just might have something with this person. But once you meet and you don't have that "initial" spark of "Wow. He/she is really attractive." be it there eyes or whatever...if you don't have that then there is no reason to move any further. Maybe develop a friendship, but that should be it. There has to be an attraction there.

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