"Why doesn't this site work! I've been here for three months and nada! -followed by long, angry rant-" -- Rather typical thread, actually. And, there's several reasons why.

1. You are wanting instantanious results at the snap of a finger. -- I.E. I signed up today, where's the men/women who should be flocking to my feet to get married!? Like real life, all things in due time...anyone who's managed to find their soul mate and get married within the first 24 hrs of signing up on this site, and had it WORK...why havn't you shared your secret yet?!

2. You're only looking at your mutual matches. -- Or, moreso even than that, you're looking at a very narrow search range. Yes, we'd all like our matches to be tall, sexy, with beautiful bodies, live only 10 minutes from us, have a PHD in some fantastic job making $500k a year plus, etc etc. But, the reality of the deal is...you're probably not gunna find it. And that's not what this site is really about anyway. While a picture can make us swoon...in the end, a picture of a beautiful person is not what defines or makes that person. You want to get to know the real person; who they are, what makes them laugh and cry...melt and get angry. The things that truely makes them who they are. So, broaden your search radius and don't be afraid that just because someone doesn't fit into your perfect ideal of your soul mate, doesn't mean they arn't. And hey...as we're all here, it just goes to show - what we think we want, isn't really what we want at all.

3. Spend time on the forums!!! -- This really sort of ties in with #2, broadening your horizons. If you only have 1 post, and that post is just to say the site doesn't work...well, you really havn't put much into it have you? We're not only here to "find that special someone" but to make some great friends along the way. People who can share our frustration at the dating world, be happy when we find what we want, a shoulder when it falls through and a helpful proverbial slap on the cheek to bring us back to reality when we start to wallow too deep in the self pity. So don't be too rushed to end your loneliness by getting married day 1...take your time, get to know people, make some friends and just let things happen. Besides, you never know who you'll meet, and if it's truely right, you'll suprise yourself at how well you can make things work if it really is the right thing.

4. You're profile reads like a want ad. -- You've laundry listed exactly what you want in a match, leaving no room for exceptions. This turns potential people off from you, figuring that if they have even one thing that doesn't match...you won't be interested. Or, they feel that by reading your list of "do have this...don't have this" etc, that you're still hungup on your previous relationships, thus bringing too much baggage with you. We've all been burned, and some of us hang onto that moreso than others, but after some time we move past the hurt and just maintain the things we learned from that relationship without carrying it on into the next one. People tend to not want to get into a relationship where they feel they will constantly be judged and compared to the previous relationship.

5. Worse...your profile, uhm...doesn't read at all? -- Is your profile as bare as the day you made the account (or pretty darn close to it lol)? If you don't show your personality, how will anyone know they want to be in a relationship with you?? This includes your pics. Now we know, not everyone has a pic, or feels comfortable posting a pic of themselves...but that doesn't mean you can't get creative and find pictures of things that you feel define you. A lot of users on here have a pic or two of themselves, but the rest are pictures of things that help define who they are, shows a personality and gives more than a blue box to try to get to know them by. Take mine for example, it's not a picture of me..but it's one that's a part of me and has meaning to me. Thus...it shows a side of my personality.

6. Reach out and touch someone! -- Take some initiative! Don't be afraid to make the first contact, and don't be afraid of rejection. We've all been turned down at one time or another and if they don't reply...ah well, such the pity at their loss. Just keep at it! Just uhm...yeah, don't be all creepy like with messages like "I think you're hot! Gimmie your number and we'll meet up tomorrow!" That's almost 100% gurantee of either an angry response or no response at all. hehe


Hope that helps, and if you're doing all of the above already and still not getting the results you want...well, join the club of "Those Who Patiently Wait Impatiently!"

ask pat for he is involved in mutual match!

hehehe....i met my love off of another site...and i have been on that site for like 3 years lol... so yep keep waiting PATIENTLY and your love will come

lol

lol I've met my match on here, though...nothing set in stone yet. All good things in due time Grats on meeting your match though! That's awsome!!

AMEN TO NUMBER 6

Most of the time when a person says that stuff they are idiots and usually unattractive

lmao You'd be suprised how many messages I get that are like that Kinda funny actually lmao

It worked for me!!!!!

Try and take it slow too and have an open mind. Sometimes you may fall for someone you'd never think you would, till it starts happening.

I've been here for some time now & other than making friends with people , this place is useless for dating purposes

lol Heya mirror! *squishes* And true, though I've seen some really pretty people make the same complaint

mm....think it depends on the peoples :P It's worked for some...not for others. *shrugs* Just a matter of meeting that one person at the right time in the right place, but if you don't put yourself out there...how will you ever find them at all? :P 'Sides, one can never have too many good friends

That's great hon!! Congrats! *hugs*

One Who Patiently Wait Impatiently

Didn't happen here but on another site I got this rather lenghly email with explicit detail of sexual content from a guy and in the heading of the email he wrote.....please reply, but just to let you know I am not a perv. Without even giving it anymore thought, I wrote him back and said...thanks, but no thanks...I was not impressed!!!!! That was the first and only email he had ever sent me (and this was just yesterday). I have since deleted my profile off that site because it seemed that was all I was getting from jerks and azzholes.

Scinn, are you a man or a woman?????? I can't tell from that pic,,,,,,,

lol exactly! Hang in there tho *hugs*

To be honest I hardly ask anyone out locally. I find someone occasionally who looks interesting but that's about it.

I think Patsfan is right. I meet people 1k miles away who I'd love to date but know that it will likely never come to pass.