that's good to hear Jim .. glad you clarified

If someone leaves me, the fact that they left is not the issue, I do not want someone to stay if it's not what they want. What I have to forgive is the poor manner in which they did it most likely...that's not so hard.

Cheating...it's never happened, but I imagine it's not for ME to forgive as they would no longer be my problem...they have to forgive themselves...and I wish them good luck with that!

said a mouthful there my kids are so screwed up because of her it's gonna take years to straighten out !

the corts and the judge they all let it happen if i strike out and do something i will be looked at like i am bad.the mom has mental problems and this is the hardest thing to sit back for over 3 years now and have my hands tied.if it was not the mom of the child i would have done something by now.

I have seen it so many times .Bottled up anger venting out on other innocent folk for no reason at all and I am sure many of you have witnessed it on this site.

I can tell from past experience with others this anger inside eats away on the person carrying it resulting in all sorts of health conditions and I am not talking about mental health. A lady I worked with long ago contracted cancer 2 years after her divorce. A guy who was forcefully made to retire on his job died of cancer six months after. I am no doctor and I don't profess to know all the facts but I am aware of the poison that gets generated and distributed inside due to hatred.

i have now had my daughter full time for the last 8 months. after 3 years in court. she will cary the pain and suffering all through life for what wrongs my x has done.yes i for give the mom it is my way.i just hope that some day the mom can stop for my daughters sake .

when you can let go and move on with your life

vary good point

It hurts, its a blow to the ego. You arent man enough to look at me and say " I want to be with someone else" but you are man enough to run around. Every man Ive ever been with has cheated on me. Trust is an issue for me, obviously.

And Im not bad in bed. Ive heard quite the opposite. I think most men just arent satisfied with one person.

Good point Sir

I hear you as I have been there myself
After so much soul searching I am constantly now asking this question trying to make her see the way

"When are you going to hate me less to love your children more?"

i dont think you ever can
the minute they start acting funny or doing something they used to do when they were cheating thats the first thing thats going to pop in your head or when you are fighting whats the first thing people throw in the others face..."well you cheated"
if you aren't with them any more then just let it go its not worth holding on to and wasting time over..move on with life and enjoy someone eles

I've never been cheated on - thankfully.

But I like to remind myself (and others) of the saying:

"Anger is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die."

Anger gets us nowhere (after the first healthy bout of it) and hanging on to it will only eat away at you - not the other person.

With that said, I realize that all different levels of pain and hurt have already been brought up here and anger is a healthy emotion -- as long as it doesn't consume you.
Timeline? Who knows, that varies from incident to incident and person to person.

when someone cheats the other party's ego is abused
Here is the question How can one self develop one's inner self to be big enough to stop the pride and ego taking the same place?

Its protection mode. My last go round, just kind of hardened me. I would love to be in a happy relationship, but not at the cost of having to go through that AGAIN. So Im holding out till I feel really comfortable with someone.

Easier said then done!


No matter what the issue was, you never forget!

For everyone its different!! I think its normal for people to go through a period of grief, pain, hate when someone they thought loved them does something to hurt them.

Forgiveness for me didnt mean letting them off the hook but more myself. To be hating someone so much and closing myself off from every opportunity to be happy hurt me and not them. When you finally and truly forgive someone you no longer care about that person in a way that it will affect you. You will never forget and you will definately know when you have forgiven and have healed......because youre happy!

you have to forgive or you wont be!

When you can be friends with them...

It took a long time for me to forgive

And i did ... I might never forget

But i guess is Life