The C.O. and the 1st sarge were in the field. As they hit the sack for the night, the 1st sarge said, " Sir, look up into the sky and tell me what you see". The C.O. said, " I see millions of stars". The 1st sarge asks again, " And what does that tell you, Sir?" The C.O. says, " Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially, billions of planets. Theologically, it tells me that God is great and that we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, it tells me that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you, sarge?" The 1st sarge says. " Well Sir, it tells me that somebody stole our tent".

Here's another one,

A little boy was watching an aircraft carrier get back from deployment. While he watches he sees a Marine coming off the ship. His uniform is all bressed, his buttons shined, and his cover is on just right. He is looking SHARP.
The little boy looks up at him and say "Gee sir, are you a for-real Marine"
The Marine smiles and say's "Yes i am, and puts his cover on the little boys head" Well the little boy is ecstatic! The highlight of his day so far. But then he runs into the head(bathroom) and hes a Sailor in then. The Sailor's uniform is all dishevled, he's hair is too long, hasn't shaved in days and stinks of vomit and alchohol. But the little boy looks at him and says "Gee sir are you a for-real Sailor"
To which the Sailor responds "Yeah...*hickup*..what about you want to suck my d!ck?" then the little boy immediatly rips off the Marines cover and says "OH NO! I'M NOT A FOR-REAL MARINE!"