This morning I was up getting ready for my day and my phone
rings.... It was my x-boyfriend from 14 years ago. I really
loved him then, we had a lot of good time together. We broke up because
he lied to me, he said he had a roommate which turned out to be his
girlfriend. I ended the relationship (with my broken heart
). I have not spoken to him in years, he
said he saw someone who knew me and they gave him my #. I talked to him
briefly, then he got another call, we hung up.

My problem today is: He's now Married with two children and he has
called me and left me two messages to call him back on his cell
phone. I have not called him back.

I don't want to call him back because he is bringing back old
memories-just by hearing his voice. I'm like butter in a frying pan
when I think about him.

Am I wrong for ignoring his calls??? What if he calls me again
What should I say? I am not going to interfere with his Marriage, I
have to respect it. Even though I feel he should have married ME....I'm
confused!

First of all, you don't know why he is calling you. Could be of some
importance. And avoidance is never the answer, just leaves you to wonder
and plays mind games. Answer his call but keep in mind what an a$$ he
was.

Hey it looks like he is realizing what he missed. Your right,messing in
someones marriage is not cool and you are obviously a respectable woman.
I would tell him what you think. Be honest and let him know what he
lost. Never lower your standards, you'll find the one that knows your
worth more than the world.

Should've mentioned when speaking to him... stay strong and think once a
cheater always a cheater..... You don't want that type of relationship,
most people don't.

hello Queen,
I think you should call him, if you had a good relationship
there has to be some trust, and maybe that is what he is looking for,
some one who he can trust..give him a call girl!!

You are all right! If he calls me again, I will answer him just
to see what he wants. However, I am going to tell him that I'm not
doing the M&M thing.... M&M=Married Man. I still
love him in my heart and I always will, I know to leave him alone is for
the best for all involved. Why does love have to hurt so bad. Even
though it's been years, my heart still fluttered from his voice...

Queenbee, how do you expect to get a man if you keep bring up the old
ones. My advice to you is to shutup about that guy and move on!

The love of my life is also now married and I can't help but to think of
him daily, we broke up almost 10 yrs ago... it hurts very dearly,
because I can't allow myself to replace him in my heart. I guess the
old saying goes, it's better to be love someone and to be loved back,
then to never experience it. We should always attempt from our pain,
and attempt to let it go.

Hey Slick and Shaneless, why don't you go and play in the fast lane on a
highway somewhere and do us all a favor with your "MISERABLE ADVICE".
You make me sick!

And Sick and Shameless, as for the Shut up part! Why don't you take
your own Stupid Advice and shut the hell up for all of us?

Maybe I shouldn't have left out.... We should always attempt to learn
from our pain, and let it go.

After 14 years I hardly think that anything he would want could be
important. He CHEATED on you, and you broke up. He is MARRIED and is
trying to get ahold of you. So what does that tell you. I would NOT
return his calls, they obvioulsy upset you and besides, like I said. He
is married and calling his old girlfriend. I would not give this jerk
the time of day.

I second that Queen

And you can,t get or keep a man, I wonder why!

I hear you Sax,

Please note: I did not ask for this surprise phone call.

I didn't think you did..... I know while I was married, I spoke to a man
I once dated yrs prior, he wasn't the love of my life, but I wanted to
stay in touch as friends. We were together for my of the teen yrs thru
my early twenties. It had nothing to do with sex, just wanted to stay in
touch, as we once meant alot to each other. You don't know his
intentions, but be prepared it may not be all on the up and up.

i don't think you should speak to him at all...you don't OWE him a phone
conversation, in fact, you owe him jack. if there was something that he
NEEDED to tell you, he could have passed it on with the friend who knows
you well enough to have your number, eh?

he kept you as his second piece of ass before, and it sounds like that
is what he's trying to do again...putting himself back in play.

really, you don't owe him this heartache, this...emotional upheaval he
is bringing to you. YOU control you...don't let HIM do it.

i wouldn't even answer.

Hello Slick and Shameless, get need to get your story straight! I am
single by choice because I refuse "not' to lower my standards for and
idiot. You sound like you need someone to make you happy because it is
obvious that you are one Miserable Soul. You never, ever have anything
nice or positive to say to anyone in this Community...Why are you here?
What is your problem? Do me a favor, don't bother to reply because I do
not care for your stupid, negative advice!

That is true LuLu, I never thought about it like that.
Thanks!

quite welcome.

be well.