On Tesco’s - Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) — ‘Do not turn upside down.’

On Sainsbury’s peanuts — ‘Warning:contains nuts’

On Boot’s Children Cough Medicine — ‘Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication.’ (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5 year-olds with head-colds off those bulldozers.)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding — ‘Product will be hot after heating.’ (…and you thought????…)

On a Sears hairdryer — Do not use while sleeping. (That’s the only time I have to work on my hair.)

On a bag of Fritos — You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special?)

On a bar of Dial soap — ‘Directions: Use like regular soap.’ (and that would be???….)

On some Swanson frozen dinners — ‘Serving suggestion: Defrost.’ (but, it’s just a suggestion.)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron — ‘Do not iron clothes on body.’ (but wouldn’t this save me time?)

On Nytol Sleep Aid — ‘Warning: May cause drowsiness.’ (..I’m taking this because???….)

On most brands of Christmas lights — ‘For indoor or outdoor use only.’ (as opposed to what?)

On a Japanese food processor — ‘Not to be used for the other use.’ (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I’m a bit curious.)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts — ‘Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts.’ (Step 3: say what?)

On a child’s Superman costume — ‘Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.’ (I don’t blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)

On a Swedish chainsaw — ‘Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals.’ (Oh my God..was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

Girl your killing me!!!

It seems stupid, but a lot of those warnings had to be put there to avoid being sued. There is the occasional idiot out there that ruins things for everyone.

This vitamin water says: Recomended for gymnists, balarinas, tightrope walkers, people who do yoga, clowns who ride unicycles while juggling chainsaws, ninjas, peg-legged pirates and or people requiring equilibrium in their lives.