Heh, it has been a lo-ong time since I did something like this...

A few years ago, I was a nightclub deejay -- in fact, one ofthe most
popular ones in the city (now, this WAS quite a while ago...) One night
my boss told me to come up with an idea to give away free drinks as our
nightly speciaql, instead of the usual cheap shooters sale three times a
night. I came up with the brilliant idea of having the bar patrons come
to my booth and tell a blond joke without giving away the punchline. If
I wasnt able to supply a funny punchline whether it was the original or
not, they got a free drink for their ENTIRE table...

Took me 4 freaking hours to give those drinks away..... Wow....


I thought this'd be fun to make this the Official Blond Jokes thread...

Here's the first one....

What goes vroom-screech-vroom-screech-vroom-screech?

A blond driving through a four-way stop...

Why did the blonde fail drivers ed?





She could'nt get used to the front seat..

A blonde walks into a beauty parlor for a haircut,The hairdresser told
her she'd have to take her headphones off to get her hair cut right,The
blonde said oh no i can't i'll die, so she got her haircut and went on
her way.This went on for several months until one day the hairdresser
finally could'nt take it any more,when the blonde sat down the
hairdresser yanked off the headphones and quickly cut the blondes
hair,now that didnt hurt a bit now did it the hairdresser stated and
noticed the blonde was dead,OMG she said and bent over to get the
headphones lying on the floor,she put them to her ear and heard
this--Breathe in-Breathe out--Breathe in-Breathe out....

A blonde walks into a beauty parlor for a haircut,The hairdresser told
her she'd have to take her headphones off to get her hair cut right,The
blonde said oh no i can't i'll die, so she got her haircut and went on
her way.This went on for several months until one day the hairdresser
finally could'nt take it any more,when the blonde sat down the
hairdresser yanked off the headphones and quickly cut the blondes
hair,now that didnt hurt a bit now did it the hairdresser stated and
noticed the blonde was dead,OMG she said and bent over to get the
headphones lying on the floor,she put them to her ear and heard
this--Breathe in-Breathe out--Breathe in-Breathe out....

What is it called when a blonde dies her hair brown?






Artificial intelligence...

Did you hear about the blond who thought she was pregnant? She told her
blond mom, who asked "Oh, my God! Are you sure it's yours?"

Why did the blond have bruises around her belly-buton?

She had a blond boyfriend...

Why are most blond jokes one-liners?
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So brunettes can understand them...

What's the difference between a blonde and a brick?







If you lay a brick it won't follow you around for a week

Bravo,,, they were good
Thanks!!!

two blonds walk into a building you think one of them
would have seen it...

Why did the blond get fired from the M & M factory?










She threw away all the W's

Hear about the blonde who's boyfriend asked to check and see if the
hazard lights on her car worked?

"yep...nope....yep...nope..."

I can always tell when one of my blonde sisters uses my computer by all
the white-out on the screen...

what do you call a smart blond?


a golden retriever

A blonde was walking down the road with a healthy looking pig under her
arm. As she passed the bus stop, someone asked, "Where did you get
that?"


The pig replied, "I won her in a raffle!"

So, this blonde was on lying on the sidewalk in a lot of pain.... she
broke her leg falling from the second storey after trying to climb up
the wall to the top of the nightclub. someone asked her why she was
trying to climb up to the roof...


"I was told that the drinks were on the house..."

HAHAHA! So funny! lol

yep-- pretty funny--

What is a blonde's mating call?
"I'm so drunk!"

What is the mating call of the brunette?
"That blonde b**ch gone yet?"

Of course, redheads have their very own mating call as well...
"I'm still here!!"