From some post Ive seen lately thought you ladies could use some help ... so here ya go

Dear (____rejectee's name here____ ),

I regret to inform you that you have been eliminated from further contention as my Mr. Right.

As you are probably aware, the competition was exceedingly tough and dozens of well-qualified candidates such as yourself also failed to make the final cut. I will, however, keep your name on file should an opening become available. So that you may find better success in your future romantic endeavors, please allow me to offer the following reason(s) you were disqualified from the competition:

[Check all those that apply]

___ Your breasts are bigger than mine.

___ Your last name is objectionable. I can't imagine taking it, hyphenating it, or subjecting my children to it.

___ The fact that our finest dining experience to date has been at McDonald's reveals a thriftiness that I find unappealing.

___ Your inadvertent admission that you "buy condoms by the truckload" indicates that you may be interested in me for something other than my personality.

___ You failed the 20 Question Rule, i.e., I asked you 20 questions about yourself before you asked me one.

___ Your legs are skinnier than mine. If you can FIT into my pants, then you can't GET into my pants.

___ Your "Putting on a few, aren't you babe?" comment, given the 9-months pregnant size of Your Own beer gut, was inappropriate.

___ You failed the credit check.

___ I find your inability to fix my car extraordinarily unappealing.

___ The fact that your apartment has been condemned reveals an inherent slovenliness that I fear is unbreakable.

___ The phrase "My Mother" has popped up far too often in conversation.

___ You still live with your parents, and attending night classes to get your High School diploma, are slight negatives.

___ You mention your ex-wife's name more than you mention mine.

Just wanted to help ladies

OMG!! This is too damn funny!!

~Melissa

lmaf

It is cost effective to buy one's supply of condoms from Costco or Sams...

Dear Knightime,

I regret to inform you that you have been eliminated from further contention as my Mrs. Hot as Hell.

As you are probably aware, the competition was exceedingly tough and dozens of un-ill-qualified candidates such as yourself also failed to make the final cut. I will, however, keep your name on file should I need to contact the Authorities. So that you may not interfere in the success of my future romantic endeavor, please allow me to offer the following reason(s) you were disqualified from the competition:

[Mark all those that apply]

_X__ Your breasts are bigger than mine.

_X__ Your last name is objectionable. I can't imagine taking it, hyphenating it, or subjecting my children to it.

_X__ The fact that our finest dining experience to date has been at McDonald's reveals a thriftiness that I find unappealing. ****(THANK's For the Happy Meal Though!!!)

_X__ Your inadvertent admission that you "buy condoms by the truckload" indicates that you may be interested in me for something other than my personality.

_X__ You failed the 20 Question Rule, i.e., I asked you 20 questions about yourself before you asked me one.

_X__ Your legs are skinnier than mine. If you can FIT into my pants, then you can't GET into my pants.

_X__ Your "Putting on a few, aren't you babe?" comment, given the 9-months pregnant size of Your Own beer gut, was inappropriate.

_X__ You failed the credit check.

_X__ I find your inability to fix my car extraordinarily unappealing.

_X__ The fact that your apartment has been condemned reveals an inherent slovenliness that I fear is unbreakable.

_X__ The phrase "My Mother" has popped up far too often in conversation.

_X__ You still live with your parents, and attending night classes to get your High School diploma, are slight negatives.

_X__ You mention your ex-wife's name more than you mention mine.

Sorry Bud!

Thanks .. Cause i anit gay anyway ...

not that theres anything wrong with that ...

LMAO!!! He Winked at me!!!

Ok this just cracked me up~

that.........was funny sh!t


but remarkably true, they should use that

I love it, lol. Thank you.

no i smacked you on your a*s and said nice game but thats as close to that as i could get with the econs i had a choice of...

Thats great!!

Wait a minute......I buy condoms by the truckload! I have a good excuse too; on Saturday Nights, I work as a clown at birthday parties making balloon animals for all the beautiful women and the cost of actual balloons went up......okay...not a good excuse...I'm a stripper.

you r welcome ...
as long as i dont find it in my inbox .. its all good

give me 30 mins I'll send one to ya!

Fine

lmao ... i should bring that thred back... lol

That's OK

** loud sigh **

you memorized it ...