1. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer. (OK in Texas )

2. Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.

3. Aren't you the guy from the Village People?

4. Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me. Good
job!

5. Are You Andy or Barney?

6. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a
police officer.

7. You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?

8. I pay your salary!

9. Gee, Officer! That's terrific. The last officer only gave me a
warning, too!

10. Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.

11. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no other
cars around.. That's how far ahead of me they are.

12. When the Officer says "Gee Your eyes look red, have you been
drinking?" You probably shouldn't respond with,"Gee Officer your eyes
look glazed, have you been eating doughnuts?"

These are great... So funny...
Lantz

Kojack if you use any of those lines on a cop remember this little poem:
30 days has September, April, June November and Kojack :)

Nor should you tell him,"Honester Officly I only had tee martoonies."

I ve used # 12 a few times and they laughed and said leave now before i
stop...

LOL Those were great. I like the village people one.

Number 12 reminds me of a story. Me my mom and my son were in the police
station and the police officer handed my son a pack of crackers from his
lunch. My mom whispers in my ear Gees i am surpised it was not a dougnut

And never, under any circumstanses tell a cop what a coinincedence that
a picture of him is on your girlfriends nightstand.

hey am i doing something wrong? people are viewing my jokes but nobody
is responding....help