These are reportedly actual ads that have appeared in newspapers across the country.

- Lost: small apricot poodle. Reward. Neutered. Like one of the family.

- A superb and inexpensive restaurant. Fine food expertly served by waitresses in appetizing forms.

- Dinner Special -- Turkey $2.35; Chicken or Beef $2.25; Children $2.00.

- For sale: an antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and large drawers.

- Four-poster bed, 101 years old. Perfect for antique lover.

- Now is your chance to have your ears pierced and get an extra pair to take home, too.

- Wanted: 50 girls for stripping machine operators in factory.

- Wanted: Unmarried girls to pick fresh fruit and produce at night.

- We do not tear your clothing with machinery. We do it carefully by hand.

now thats funny

MMMM! I'll have the Kiddie Casserole, so long as it's fresh...don't want none of that teenaged stuff.