Was just thinking today, what its like to be a 40+ single male. First of all, by just owning a computer that has an Internet connection, most of your friends assume you're a porn addict or a potential pedophile.If your neighbors don't see you with a woman, they assume you are gay or a potential pedophile (I recommend leaving beer bottles in the yard and only cut your grass when someone complains.It will at least kill the gay stigma.)When you go to a bar with your buddies, and they drool over the young hottie girls but go home to their wives, they talk to you like a punk cause you didn't score on one of the girls, they wish they had.(Dude, that chic was hot! What are you gay? You soooo coulda hit that!) Then they start joking about your shower time, and just what you do in there. What are they putting hidden cams in there?

So, go out alone then, you say. If a 40+ guy walks into a bar alone people either take him for an alcoholic loser, or a recently divorced loner that will either get drunk and whine about his life sucking or start calling all the women,"B*****s!" (Look at that b***h. I bet she took some poor sap for every cent he had, ****ing b*****s, all of them. Gimme another shot!")

If you are lucky enough to find an attractive group of ladies, and spark up alittle conversation with them, you'll probably notice how they won't walk away with their drink left on the table. That means they think you are gonna spike their drink with GHB and drag them out to the parking lot, for a date rape.Or, after spending your entire weekend money on their drinks, their boyfriends and husbands, that they somehow neglected to mention, show up and pull up to your table like Indians surrounding the wagon train and you feel about 2 inches tall as they start introducing themselves.(Hi I'm Jake, nearly crushing your fragile hand with his huge ham like biker hand as he shakes your hand in his vise like grip) So, how do you know my wife? And you think,"Is this my table? How'd I get here?" No, he won't buy that. Gulp, uuuhh, I just uhhhmmm, thought I would uhhhmmmm(jeez, are those scars on his face?) Okay, so you get pummeled and you're bleeding and you're broke. And of course its gonna rain as you walk home...counting every step.

sad but true.