I thought you were planning on going to visit there, can you still arrange that? Maybe talk it out in person?

Being friends might be difficult if he starts talking about other women.

He broke up with you .. the whole lets be friends thing in code for let me keep my foot in the door unless someone better comes along .. move on hit the gas and drive ahead ..

If he broke it off because the distance is too hard for him and he will not talk about how it could possibly work, then he is just plain not interested in you. You write that you will not tell him how you feel becuase "he'll just not want anything to do with me at all." Well, I ask you how can you be a friend to someone if they don't want to talk to you about issues. Friends has to work both ways, right? Otherwise is it worth it to either of you, but most espeically to you? You know the answer.

Did he break up with you after you actually met in person or before? If it's after then at least he gave it a try to see if he had physical chemistry with you in person. Then that is tough because you will then know you are rejected for something so petty as your looks or how you acted. Reality bite! If that is the case, move on fast!! Someone more compatible is out there and you need to be available when he finds you!

If it was before, then he most likely figured it out that he could not afford the burden of travel costs, assuming there is travel cost involved here. If he does not want to talk it out with you to make it work, then you also know he is not the one for you. Friends talk things out. If he can't do that then don't waste your time. Move on fast!

You could try to be friends and see if time works it out to you liking, but if he is not responsive, then you have your answer. Can you be the only one in a Friendship?

I have a similar issue, maybe for different reasons, but the bottom line is the same I think.

1. Cut your losses short.
2. Move on FAST.
3. Think about the real reasons why you were willing to settle for less. Awareness is a necessary step to success.
4. Be available to meet the best one for you.
5. Most importantly - never give up hope in finding the right love for you! My heart wishes this for all of us!


Thanks for the post. Good question that many of us have. It's hard to move on when it's time. We just have to remember we need to do it for our own good and the good of the one who is best for us. How can they find us if we are not ready for them.

Well said, IslandPearl ... I think women (okay, I have no experience on the other side, let's be honest! lol) have a tendancy to hang on too long and allow themselves to foster false hopes that the situation will change. We need to learn to cut our losses, dust ourselves off and get back in the game ... chin up, shoulders back ... no second-guessing, no feeling sorry for ourselves. Thanks for the reminder!

I'd say either let go of the idea of him as a BF for you and be his friend, or let him go completely if you can't see him as anything but potential BF.

You are welcome Elaine.

Actually I was looking here because I had a similar issue as Red. Looking at her situation from the outside reminded me I know the answer that is best for me (and in this situation probably most people as well). We all find it when we are good and ready to listen to our conscious self. It also helps when you focus outside of yourself to help others. That is when I get clarity. Thanks Red, I hope this helps.

Yes, it does, thanx!

Red,

Keep in touch with me if you want. Let me know what's up. No judgement. Just mutual support.

Hugs,
Donne'

ok, I just might, thanx!