Garden Grass Snakes also known as Garter
Snakes (Thamnophissirtalis) can be dangerous.
Yes, grass snakes, not rattlesnakes. Here's why.

A couple in Sweetwater, Texas, had a lot of
potted plants. During a recent cold spell, the
wife was bringing a lot of them indoors to
protect them from a possible freeze.

It turned out that a little green garden grass
snake was hidden in one of the plants. When
it had warmed up, it slithered out and the
wife saw it go under the sofa.

She let out a very loud scream.

The husband (who was taking a shower) ran
out into the living room naked to see what
the problem was. She told him there was a
snake under the sofa

He got down on the floor on his hands and
knees to look for it. About that time the
family dog came and cold-nosed him on the
behind. He thought the snake had bitten him,
so he screamed and fell over on the floor.

His wife thought he had had a heart attack,
so she covered him up, told him to lie still and
called an ambulance.

The attendants rushed in, would not listen to
his protests, loaded him on the stretcher, and
started carrying him out.

About that time, the snake came out from
under the sofa and the Emergency Medical
Technician saw it and dropped his end of the
stretcher. That's when the man broke his leg
and why he is still in the hospital.

The wife still had the problem of the snake in
the house, so she called on a neighbor who
volunteered to capture the snake. He armed
himself with a rolled-up newspaper and began
poking under the couch. Soon he decided it
was gone and told the woman, who sat down
on the sofa in relief.

But while relaxing, her hand dangled in between
the cushions, where she felt the snake wriggling
around. She screamed and fainted, the snake
rushed back under the sofa.

The neighbor man, seeing her lying there passed
out, tried to use CPR to revive her.

The neighbor's wife, who had just returned from
shopping at the grocery store, saw her husband's
mouth on the woman's mouth and slammed her
husband in the back of the head with a bag of
canned goods, knocking him out and cutting
his scalp to a point where it needed stitches.

The noise woke the woman from her dead faint
and she saw her neighbor lying on the floor
with his wife bending over him, so she assumed
that the snake had bitten him. She went to the
kitchen and got a small bottle of whiskey, and
began pouring it down the man's throat.

By now, the police had arrived. Breath here......

They saw the unconscious man, smelled the
whiskey, and assumed that a drunken fight had
occurred. They were about to arrest them all,
when the women tried to explain how it all
happened over a little green snake.

The police called an ambulance, which took
away the neighbor and his sobbing wife.

Now, the little snake again crawled out from
under the sofa and one of the policemen drew
his gun and fired at it. He missed the snake
and hit the leg of the end table. The table fell
over, the lamp on it shattered and, as the bulb
broke, it started a fire in the drapes.

The other policeman tried to beat out the
flames, and fell through the window into
the yard on top of the family dog who,
startled, jumped out and raced into the
street, where an oncoming car swerved
to avoid it and smashed into the parked
police car.

Meanwhile, neighbors saw the burning
drapes and called in the fire department.
The firemen had started raising the fire
ladder when they were halfway down the
street. The rising ladder tore out the
overhead wires, put out the power, and
disconnected the telephones in a ten-square
city block area (but they did get the house
fire out).

Time passed! Both men were discharged
from the hospital, the house was repaired,
the dog came home, the police acquired a
new car and all was right with their world.

A while later they were watching TV and the
weatherman announced a cold snap for that
night. The wife asked her husband if he thought
they should bring in their plants for the night.

And that's when he shot her.

OMG thats soooo funny