So ask.

If I really find someone that I like and like I said the ones I like dont like me , will I ever be really happy?? does that make sense

It makes sense, but in reality if she's not into you in a dating sense, then you're either going to get friendzoned or just plain rejected.

I don't know what kinds of women you're into, so I can't figure out if you're being realistic or unrealistic. What I mean by those terms is generally when someone is thinking realistically, then he/she understands how people are, and dates men or women who truly fit the standards they want out of a mate without changing who those people are.

Thinking UNREALISTICALLY is what many do. This is especially the case when you see women go from one bad boy to the next. I've seen enough women who want a man that's sweet, kind, sensitive, will be loyal and love her...but they want that packaged as a shallow guido meathead. That's unrealistic...it's one in a billion that will happen. Same deal when I see men chase the shallow miniskirt and heels nightclub women, thinking she'll become the good girl she can take home to mom, and won't sit there looking around to "upgrade" when she meets better looking men.

If you honestly believe you think realistically, then it might be in your approach and mannerisms with the women you persue. It could also be just factors around you, like your interest in shooting guns and fireworks, or that you're divorced and have children. Some things you can't change...it's really down to finding the woman who isn't bothered by those things.

If you honestly believe you think unrealistically, then you have to seriously do some soul searching and redefine what you see as the "ideal woman". Believe me, ten years ago I was all into the wild nightclub women (hence why I keep using them as examples)...but I wanted a nice girl. Can you see the irony there?

I had to sit and think and take time...and figure out that the women I was pursuing would NEVER give me what I wanted in a relationship. I had to look at myself and realize I was very average looking, when these women wanted above average looking men with way more money than me. I realized these women are not loyal to any men, and thus would not be the kind of woman for me. Now I'm more into sophisticated, laid back, artsy girls. The girl I could make a candlelit dinner for and would want to chill out with me one night, as opposed to always going out drinking. The girl who would go to a gallery opening with me, or be interested in seeing cultures of other cities and countries, as opposed to just flying to the party spots of the globe.

You get what I mean?

Yea thats some good advice and tks. Seems like I have got off the path of dating, and cant seem to get it back, being relealistic means you have to get to know the woman and that takes time and comment, maybe just to loose all that time on someone that you might not like after finding out her interest are not what I want, Is that quick dating anygood where people go to a place and switch around people until they find the right one. do you know

Yeah, that is true, but I mostly see "realistic" basically as picking women who will honestly give you what you want in a relationship, and not be someone you have to "work on" or "change" in order to get what you want. Someone who will find you attractive, love you, and treat you as you would treat them.

Unrealistic is more when you pursue someone you know would never be the person you would want them to be to you...but you think they might change or this will be the rare mishap that "isn't like that".



Speed dating is ok. Too many occasions though where men and women show up, the men each select three women they would love to meet, but most of the women mark that they are not interested in any of the guys. Plus at times you got the friends who come out for "moral support", but they have no intentions of meeting anyone there.

I would suggest meetup.com. Go there, join some groups, go out, meet new people, make more friends, and maybe either one person will like you or introduce you to someone.

Make sure you build your Social Capital.