whether man or woman...get themselves into unhealthy patterns and don't get out because somehow they get the response they want from their friend or partner?

If so....will they ever work themselves out of what they do? EVER??????

depends on if they want to bad enough.

I'm gathering once someone responds in a certain way when they get angry, they probably won't learn to react in a new way.

No teaching old dogs new tricks?

I think people get into a pattern unless they break out of it willingly and specifically.

I dated a guy who, as it was pointed out to me by an acquaintance who really didn't know me very well, was a lot like my X. It was a REAL eye-opener. I took a LOOOOOOOOOOONG dating break after that, to clear my palate, so to speak, and reset my man-o-meter.

Usually not. Thier "dependency" nature low IQ and low self esteem would make it doubtful at the very best.

I never thought about it in terms of him having low self esteem...

Many core emotional issues stem from low self esteem. In definition, thinking low of yourself and can easily produce itself in ways such as anger..very common.

And to clarify the "low IQ portion, that does not mean "stupid" or any of that form..simply means not intelligent enough to recognise certain things within themselves and others. And can indicate poor problem solving skills.

Thanks

I have known several people in this circumstance and we had even talked about it. Then i set back and watched, because what else could i do? I would think to myself why do they do this?,stay in the relationship that they are in? People that get into that type of relation has to deside to get out of it for them self's,no matter what you say to them.

This goes for all relationships between any two people. There are ways to change, but they have to find it within themselves... and not all people see this as being a problem. Basically the person has to be sick and tired of being in the same situation over and over. Many people don't even recognize the continual pattern.

In my relationship with my mother, we would always end up in a screaming match with her rebuking Satan while staring at me... I finally realized that I had to stop getting upset about her taking everything as a personal attack on her, no matter what the original topic was. When I changed that and stopped giving her the reaction she expected and walked away instead, she learned that she could not upset me in that way and she in turn changed how she went about things.

I let her know later on about the changes I noticed, and she realized that she was personalizing things because of her own insecurities. We have a great relationship now and are able to talk about most things calmly.