Topic: New Redneck jokes
Gryphyn's photo
Thu 02/01/07 11:38 PM


Yes, the new one is out! The brand new edition of You know you're a
redneck
when...


1. You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree.


2. You can entertain yourself for more than 15 minutes with a fly
swatter.


3. Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.


4. You burn your yard rather than mow it.


5. You think "The Nutcracker" is something you do off the high dive.


6. The Salvation Army declines your furniture.



7. You offer to give someone the shirt off your back and they don't
want
it.


8. You have the local taxidermist on speed dial.


9. You come back from the dump with more than you took.

10. You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.


11. Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.


12.. Your grandmother has "ammo" on her Christmas list.

13. You keep flea and tick soap in the shower.

14. You've been involved in a custody fight over a hunting dog.

15. You go to the stock car races and don't need a program.

16. You know how many bales of hay your car will hold.


17. You have a rag for a gas cap.


18. Your house doesn't have curtains, but your truck does.


19. You wonder how service stations keep their rest-rooms so clean.


20. You can spit without opening your mouth.

21. You consider your license plate personalized because your father
made it.


22. Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.


23. You have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say "Cool Whip"
on the side.


24. The biggest city you've ever been to is Wal-Mart.


25. Your working TV sits on top of your non-working TV.

26. You've used your ironing board as a buffet table.

27. A tornado hits your neighborhood and does $100,000 worth of
improvements.

28. You've used a toilet brush to scratch your back.


29. You missed your 5th grade graduation because you were on jury
duty.

30. You think fast food is hitting a deer at 65.

karmafury's photo
Thu 02/01/07 11:48 PM
laugh laugh laugh laugh laugh laugh laugh laugh laugh
laugh laugh laugh laugh laugh laugh laugh

Marie55's photo
Thu 02/01/07 11:50 PM
Oh damn, I have done #25 before, but not for a long time, guess I don't
"quite" qualify. But love redneck jokes, and Larry the Cable Guy is my
hero. These are great, thanks for posting them.

deano82's photo
Fri 02/02/07 12:21 AM
damm sound's like juSt a nother doy at home if you ask me duncha thank?

TxsGal3333's photo
Fri 02/02/07 11:14 AM
laugh laugh laugh laugh laugh laugh laugh laugh

sweetcountrygirl's photo
Fri 02/02/07 11:19 AM
LOL!!!Wiping tears of laughter from my cheeks...Hilarious!bigsmile
bigsmile bigsmile bigsmile
Love it!:tongue:

heatherrae's photo
Fri 02/02/07 12:02 PM
uh oh, jeff and i are in trouble, we qualify under a number of those.

1,2,3,9,12,15,16,18(actually is a microbus, but it has curtains)

no photo
Fri 02/02/07 08:05 PM
oh crapp i think i am a redneck then

no photo
Fri 02/02/07 08:08 PM
heeeeeeyyy!--i'm a redneck then--i used toilet brush on my back!!!!




















jokin'

bonbon's photo
Sat 02/03/07 11:49 AM
laugh laugh laugh laugh laugh