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| Topic: Newly Seperated and Dating | |
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i wait outside people houses until i hear the news then i make my move  ur crazyyyyy...   yup but being crazy gets me special treatment 
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i wait outside people houses until i hear the news then i make my move ur crazyyyyy... yup but being crazy gets me special treatment LOL... are you refering to... SHOCK treatment? 
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i wait outside people houses until i hear the news then i make my move ur crazyyyyy... yup but being crazy gets me special treatment LOL... are you refering to... SHOCK treatment? no but i do get Jello for desert
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i wait outside people houses until i hear the news then i make my move ur crazyyyyy... yup but being crazy gets me special treatment I know what u get...I'm watching.... I find u funny... 
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So what's everyone's opinion on dating someone that's newly seperated: How long would someone have to be seperated before you would start to see them? (The next day, a week, a month or would you say screw it and see them while they were still married in a bad relationship?) There are too many emotions and there is too much unfinished business with those that are separated and newly divorced, let a lone newly separated. Personally, I would not date anyone I was interested in spending the rest of my life with if they were not divorced at least a year or two first. I have seen/heard too much to believe jumping in before that can work out for MOST people. In fact, it is just the opposite. If all you are seeking is sex or companionship and you aren't overly vulnerable, go ahead and take that chance on getting your heart broken. Its not for me. I'd rather avoid the drama and simplify my life. |
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I would wait until the divorce was final... I worked, raised my sons,and went out and had fun til my divorce was final...  If it is basically over, with separate lives, finances, and residences for year(s) before it is final, there is absolutely nothing wrong with exploring, learning about yourself, sowing your wild oats, and having fun. I'm just not sure it is the foundation to build a life-long relationship with. I want something that lasts a little longer and I really hated the "one date wonders" of my post-divorce year or two. It was fun, but eventually a very empty and emotionally unfulfilling time - albeit something I guess I needed to go through back then. |
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Edited by
zanne46
on
Fri 05/02/08 03:27 PM
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I would wait until the divorce was final... I worked, raised my sons,and went out and had fun til my divorce was final... If it is basically over, with separate lives, finances, and residences for year(s) before it is final, there is absolutely nothing wrong with exploring, learning about yourself, sowing your wild oats, and having fun. I'm just not sure it is the foundation to build a life-long relationship with. I want something that lasts a little longer and I really hated the "one date wonders" of my post-divorce year or two. It was fun, but eventually a very empty and emotionally unfulfilling time - albeit something I guess I needed to go through back then. Hi Angelina...  when I said I went out and had fun..When I didn't work or have my boys.. I hooked up with my wonderful friends...who I had to put on stand by cause my husband was a control freak and he didn't like me having friends.. They were all there waiting for me when I showed up...we had fun..good fun...and then I went home to my children..wasn't til I was divorced that I actually met someone and had a 6 yr relationship...I do believe one must take their time..and find themselves again..or the new them..then start up with a a new relationship.. at the same time..everyone is different..so what I chose to do..doesn't mean everyone must follow the same... many rebound relationships work..but many don't... ex..my 6 yr relationship ended cause he never had that time for himself in between.Although..I did tell him to go sow his oats..and then see were we end up..He didn't last a month..did nothing..but chase me around..until I finally said ok...guess u will sow ur oats with me... It was the best relationship I had..then he went and screwed it up.. I can say that as he has come to me and made ammends and admitted he was totally in the wrong and made the biggest mistake... How bad it was...he was forbidden to speak to me or come near my sons for 2 yrs...how good it became...he was at our home...to see Brett off to be a Marine..He loves my sons..and they love him..that matters most to me....  He now is working on himself...a wonderful thing...
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Edited by
buttons
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Fri 05/02/08 03:37 PM
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id date ya!
... honestly i think there is nothing wrong with dating while newly outta relationship if thats what your thing is .others like me need time and then even its best to never expect anything more than friends... if one is newly outta relationship.. and nothing wrong with going out with friends of the opposite sex just no one in a situation like this expect anything more than that if it happens later down the road so be it...deb
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So what's everyone's opinion on dating someone that's newly seperated: How long would someone have to be seperated before you would start to see them? (The next day, a week, a month or would you say screw it and see them while they were still married in a bad relationship?) i don't have any time limit, but if they are still in 'Drama mode' forget it....if someone has been in a long relationship they usually need some time to regroup & process what happened.... i can usually tell when a person isn't ready for a new relationship because they are spending too much time telling me about their Ex relationships.... |
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i can usually tell when a person isn't ready for a new relationship because they are spending too much time telling me about their Ex relationships.... |
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Ahhh...Gee, thanks Dr Phil..I mean Citizen_Joe ...
BUt I was actually asking the other way around "How much time would someone ELSE have to be separated before you went out with them" I'm waiting ((((Button's))))  When and where.... angelindarkness & Blue... I hear ya, but personally I've always been a slow starter in a relationship. It takes so long to see who someone really is, so "Falling Fast" seems a little High School to me; so I think it's best to just enjoy each others company and see where it goes from there (But I definitely hear the Drama part of hearing about the last relationship too much... |
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and i had to turn blue for ya to notice me
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I would wait until the divorce was final... I worked, raised my sons,and went out and had fun til my divorce was final... well im speaking from...well not experience exactly but from watching my parents. My parents got divorced and both remarried...now my mom is a widow but my dad is still married...he claims he still loves my mom and has gotten seperated from his wife a couple of times and my mom tries to work it out with but he always goes back to his wife. my parents did that for yrs...when my brother and I were having our children..daddy wanted to come home and be part of the family.. So my mom told him..lets just be friends..daddy says.."FRIENDS"..ur my wife... that taught me a lot..so my dad went back to the woman he has been with for yrs...they hate each other...  my parents that is. My ex..he throws The I love You at me occationally...I tell him I'm busy ..call me tomorrow... he goes away... Well i believe my mom still loves my dad...which is why she can never turn him away...my dad however, i think he just wants to play games...typical man. 
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Edited by
viraloneontheout
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Sun 05/04/08 10:29 PM
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i would wait till they knew they were ready
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When they are no longer tied to that person emotionally.....it could be a year or longer......Id never date a newly separated person!!!
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I separated over a year ago. No dates or ANYTHING during that time. I wanted to make sure I was over the relationship BEFORE testing the waters again. We were together for 20 years, most of them horrible. She was so controlling and hurtful. Why did it take so long?
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The problem with waiting IMO would be what if you met someone spectacular and told them no I am not ready yet, then you lose them because they didn't want to wait around. I believe everything happens for a reason and sometimes you need to try something to see if it could work before disregarding it.
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the best things are worth waiting for just not waiting a lifetime
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So what's everyone's opinion on dating someone that's newly seperated: How long would someone have to be seperated before you would start to see them? (The next day, a week, a month or would you say screw it and see them while they were still married in a bad relationship?) When they have shown that they are over there past relationship and ready to move on. |
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