...I already made a similar thread on Parenting talking forums, but i wanted to do it here to be a little bit more specific.
My nephew (14) called me, and with the spontaneous way kids have, He asked me: "is masturbation a sin?"
I got shocked because i was not expecting such a thing.
However, the point is how to teach a child something that me as a christian (catholic) know is a sin, but I also understand that masturbation is part of the normal development of a teenager.
I think this is one of main issues about the wat christianity teaches the reality of sin. Somehow, churches (Catholic included) implant guilt in people minds. Guilt does not let the person to develop as a person. People with guilt are like lab rats.
I have gone to confession several times with different priests, and they have told me pretty much the same thing. in fact masturbation it's sin (I'm not going to get into the nature of masturbation as a sin), but a person can't live in guilt because of that.
However, there must be some sort of self-restrain. We can't let our body rule over our mind.
Then my basic conflict is how to make understand a child that masturbation it's a sin, and at the same time make him know that if it happens he should not have guilt feelings. How can I make him a good christian without castrating his ability of reasoning?

TLW

P.S. Please, for those who answer this thread if any, do not distort this in an arguement on why religions are wrong, and let's focus on how to come accross with the right message.

I know how he feels I have this addiction to water. No matter what I do I always go back to it. Its a thirst I just can't quench.

you kill me, dude

Prehaps, share with him your experience as a teenager. Let him know that you did it and most all teens do it, but also tell him how you eventually grew out of it. This should hopefully, let him know, that in fact, there is nothing wrong with it (or him) and also boost his confidence that he too will eventually grow out of it as well.

Right

How you two grew out of it and don't do it anymore.


And then tell him about the commandment about not lying

Hey clown, I never said I grew out of it, however TLW said he practices self restraint. It was merely a suggestion nothing else. Also note, there was no Biblical reference in my suggestion.

While your maybe you could reseach the commandment that talks about not being a Jackass!

God left that commandment out. Too bad really


Lets face facts guys, masturbation is as normal as drinking water. The sooner he realizes it the better. Please do not load that poor kid down with Guilt.

So, you never had the "birds and the bees" talk? His nephew asked him and he was simply asking, based on his own beliefs, how not to make him feel guilty about it. As I already stated earlier, it is very normal!

Absolutely, in fact many doctors and psychologists believe that it can be detrimental to the natural balance of hormones to not relieve sexual tension. Even animals do it, and anyone who claims they don’t obviously never saw a dog humping a fire hydrant.

It’s a perfectly natural biological drive and it’s not healthy to suppress it. Why would God make it a sin to do something that is clearly a healthy thing to do?

This is just one more of a myriad of reasons why I totally can’t believe a book that contains these proclamation of sin could possibly have divine origins. This is just another one of those guilt trips. If the author’s of the Bible thought they could get away with making people feel guilty for breathing I’m sure they would have jumped on that as well. No wonder they think every man is a sinner. They make it a sin to be human!

A god who would have made the sex drive in man as potent as it is, and then claim that he’s a sinner if he refuses to refrain from that instinct would be a sadist of the highest order.

Clearly the sex drive comes from the fact that we evolved.

Had we been created from dust by a God as an already finished thinking man, then there would have been no need to have a sex drive so potent. The intellectual desire to have offspring would have been enough and there would have been no need for sex drive at all because we’d be driven by LOVE instead.

Funny how a simple thing like a natural instinct to masturbate brings the whole biblical story into question on a deeply philosophical level.

Oooops, I broke it! I remember thinking that at about 13 or 14...

Too much of anything is not good... moderation.

Besides, the longer you wait, the more the wind blows, and the quicker it is all over...

Night y'all... I'll see ya in a few weeks...

You are cracking me up!

Is drinking water a sin. Oops. I love it so!!

People are freakin unbelievable. Thomas is the only person who gave a sane answer.
I asked for advice, and what I got. I got the SSDD.
Did anybody read what I wrote?

I did. thats why i didnt say anything silly

Okay, if you are convinced that masturbation is a "sin" this is what you can tell him.

Tell him that masturbation is considered a sin, but that it is a natural human process and that he is not to feel guilty about this because Jesus died for all sins of mankind, and therefore these sins are washed away and forgiven.

Will that work?

JB

It does. However, i told him something pretty similar. I just did not explain him about Jesus.

I dont think its a good idea to tell someone that it is immoral to masturbate(in private). Its normal. Thats my advice

Im not sure its a good idea to tell a child that masturbation is a sin. I think there are different opinions on that and it could be damaging to tell a young person that masturbating(in private) is a sin.

I agree with you Mirror, and I would never tell my children that, but this question was asked from the premise that the Catholic Church considers masturbation to be a sin, and one is expected to presume that the questioner is not going to go against his church or change his religion or raise his child in a different religion.

So I answered the question the best way I could under these premises and conditions.

JB

you see I told him, that masturbation was a normal step within his psychophysical development. However, the problem comes when masturbation becomes a vice.
A person has to have self-restrain. I mean even in much simpler things such as eating.
Any excess tends to be wrong.
I tried not to focus in the fact that masturbation is a sin, but in the fact that there are many other things that he can do instead.
I did tell never to feel guilty if he masturbates.