You own at least seven pairs of flip flops.

You know someone who's been struck by lightning.

You're more scared of the freaks that live down the street than gators. have a pen of them across street

Your backyard is sometimes a swamp.

You're officially sick of Disney.

You shrug off hurricane warnings.

You've been permanently blinded by fat men in Speedos.

There are only two seasons - hot and hotter

You've drank a flaming alligator.

"Down South" means Key West

"Panhandling" means going to Pensacola.

You think no-one over 70 should be allowed to drive. (Amen...sorry if you're that age, but drive in FL you'll be saying the same thing. They renew licenses there every 12 years...sight unseen...and that also means...NO SIGHT. People in their 80s don't have to see anyone at the DMV for 12 years...that puts them over 90)

You wait with anticipation for the beginning of crawfish season.

Flip-flops are everyday wear.

Shoes are for business meetings and church.

An alligator once walked through your neighborhood.

You smirk when a game show's "Grand Prize" is a trip or cruise to Florida.

You measure distance in minutes. haha

You have a drawer full of bathing suits, and one sweatshirt. (any sort of rubber rots in FL...so we change our suits A LOT)

You get annoyed at the tourists who feed seagulls. (AND there are signs telling them not to as well, but do they listen, NO)

All the local festivals are named after a fruit.

A mountain is any hill 100 feet above sea level.

You know the four seasons really are: almost summer, summer, not summer but really hot, and Christmas.

Anything under 95° is just warm.

You've hosted a hurricane party. best kinds

You go to a theme park for an afternoon, and know when to get on the best rides.

You pass on the right and honk at the elderly.

You understand the futility of exterminating cockroaches. (AMEN. Roaches there have their own tack shops)

You can pronounce Okeechobee, Kissimmee and Withlacoochee.

You understand why it's better to have a friend with a boat, than have a boat yourself. going this week for 2 days!

You get angry when people say "Florida isn't really part of the SOUTH" (Only place further south is Havana, people)

You've worn shorts and used the A/C on Christmas. (Hanging Christmas lights are not waiting until the coldest day in the year like up north to stand out there WITHOUT your gloves cussing up a storm ha ha ha !)

You know what the "stingray shuffle" is, and why it's important. Rock On

You have FEMA's number on your speed dialer.

You have more than 300 'C' and 'D' batteries in your kitchen drawer. Try garage tub full

Your pantry contains more than 20 cans of Spaghetti O's.

You are thinking of repainting your house to match the plywood covering your windows. Done that

When describing your gutted house to a prospective buyer, you say it has three bedrooms, two baths and an open air feel to it.

Your SSN isn't a secret, it's written in Sharpie on your arms.

You are on a first-name basis with the cashier at Home Depot.

You are delighted to pay $3 for a gallon of regular unleaded. Paying almost 4 and whateverrrrrrr

The road leading to your house has been declared a No-Wake Zone. behind my house it is

You decide that your patio furniture looks better on the bottom of the pool.

You own more than three large coolers.

You can wish that other people get hit by a hurricane and not feel the least bit guilty about it.

You rationalize helping a friend board up by thinking "It'll only take a gallon of gas to get there and back"

You have 2-liter coke bottles and milk jugs filled with water in your freezer. for the rabbits!

Three months ago you couldn't hang a shower curtain; today you can assemble a portable generator by candlelight.

You catch a 13-pound red fish - in your house.

You can recite from memory whole portions of your homeowner's insurance policy.

You consider a "vacation" to stunning Tupelo, Mississippi.

At cocktail parties, women are attracted to the guy with the biggest chainsaw.

You have had tuna fish more than 5 days in a row.

There is a roll of tar paper in your garage.

You can rattle off the names of three or more meteorologists who work at the Weather Channel.

Someone comes to your door to tell you they found your roof.

Ice is a valid topic of conversation.

Your "drive-thru" meal consists of MRE's and bottled water.

Relocating to South Dakota does not seem like such a crazy idea.

You spend more time on your roof then in your living room.

You've been laughed at over the phone by a roofer, fence builder ora tree worker.

A battery powered TV is considered a home entertainment center.

You don't worry about relatives wanting to visit during the summer.

Your child's first words are "hunker down" and you didn't go to Ole Miss!

Having a tree in your living room does not necessarily mean it's Christmas.

Toilet Paper is elevated to coin of the realm at the shelters.

You know the difference between the "good side" of a storm and the "bad side."

Your kids start school in August and finish in July.

You go to work early and stay late just to enjoy the air conditioning.








and added crap denotes me and the stuff I deal with regularly and all that jazz!

Cute, eh?

Come back to Massachusetts

Very!

Very Funny!!and yet sadly very true

perfect


....but ya forgot the one about permanently keep your hand on the horn while driving in downtown miami(if ya've ever done that))or anywhere in down here !!!

there are more but dont wanna offend anyone..lol.

But, I love the Bradenton, Sarasota area.


You left out the fire ants - they got me. And you left out the love bugs.

Def the horn in Tampa Bay as well!
Oh yeah there is TONS more... and you are right! We DO NOT want to offend anyone on here at all!

I gotta love my swamp

LMAO!!