i am at that same place as you.
i have loved and achingly not forgotten. i have yearned and groaned so deeply inside only to bear witness to lonliness. and i have grieved as if the world could not hold all my tears. and i have feared the outside world from teh barrier i have built around myself.
but it is no way to live.
and it is no way to hope in the future, wishing and praying that maybe someday things would change, maybe someday he will finally be free to love me again.
but that is no way to think.
there is not light for the path, it is merely a shadowy darkness of untruth, deception and want.
and it does not prepare the heart for receiveing future loves.
it is no way to live.
it is only death, until accepted. at which point, it can then and only then, be a new beginning with lessons learned, anticipations of something perfect and teh pursuit of something better.
none of that will change the sacredness of what has been.
but it will change what is to be.
So be free.
Love cautiously but not regrettfully.
Rejoice! that you have been given a second chance with a better understanding of what is sacred, cherished and mutual. And when it comes your way again... embrace it, with patience. encompass it with steadfast care. and nourish it with a constant flame that ignites truth, loyalty, respect, trust and personal growth, as one being, wholehartedly giving and receiving of all things.