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| Topic: why do men... | |
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another thing that REALLY irritates me with some guys..they play the "silent game" on U if they arent interested..they want it that way, so they dont have to come out and say it..thats messed up, i'm sorry..no communication..i asked one of my males friends on this and he said most dont pay attention, move on, eetc..how immature  and this guy did just that and others too..i dont get it..whats wrong with coming out and saying how u feel? men have no feelings..none at all..most anyways..  i understand that, but still a "Real Man" will come out and say it!!!!! .....is it that or are they concerned about hurting your feelings...so its easier to avoid...i know me personally...i have stayed in a relationship i knew was going no where...cause every time i tried to leave...i would get those tears...and with tears a women can get what ever she wants from me....even after she has went out on me...those tears bring me to my knees...like i did something wrong... |
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all i know is i'm done..dont wish to date or anything right now..i have more important things to tend to and one of them r my two beautiful kids..
  it is what it is and i'm totally 'POWERLESS' that right person will come along one day..god's time, not mine..i truly beleive that..thats prob y i'm going thru what i'm going thru with the guys..who knows..lol 
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if the relationship is about sex ,you have sex . if its not you don't . the trick for alot of people is disinguishing the two.
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all i know is i'm done..dont wish to date or anything right now..i have more important things to tend to and one of them r my two beautiful kids.. it is what it is and i'm totally 'POWERLESS' that right person will come along one day..god's time, not mine..i truly beleive that..thats prob y i'm going thru what i'm going thru with the guys..who knows..lol 
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I just want to know why some men say they are looking for a long term relationship, but then when you get to know them..all's they want is the sex part..if your not willing to jump into bed with them right away, they go else where...what's up with that?? I'm willing to live the rest of my life alone if thats all thats out there..is anyone true these days? anyone know? Whatever happened to the old fashion dating where you get to know each other first and then get intimate? Is that gone with the wind?  ok, most guys aren't like that. Most guys women are attracted to are, however. There is a trick in the dating world though. Providing your guy isn't a total loser, he won't go anywhere as long as there is some fofm of physical progression. You can keep it slow, but make sure there is some progression. Guys take a major hit to the ego when they are rejected from physical contact. Any insecure man would back immediately off and think "what, am i not good enough?". Although he SHOULD just take two steps back and go from there. Anyway, it's biologically up tp the male to persue. So there is no waiting for a woman to make the first move when you are a guy (sometimes you women have no idea i well you have it). So yeah, it's not about not getting the sex, it's about the rejection. Frankly i would be hesitant to take seriously, any guy who openly says he is interested in a long term relationship. He should be more a of "go with the flow" type. Basically if we just hang out as friends, if we click, then we take a it a little further. Being "open" to a long term relationship and "looking for" a long term relationship are two different entities. "open" to a long term relationship is what you are looking for. There is a general rule of thumb. Guys fear commitment more than women because they get more attached. Women are less afraid of commitment because they can move on easier. So, i would think, if a guy is "looking for" a long term relationship he is desperate to give is heart and spill his guts to someone. With this comes emotional baggage and insecurity. So treat carefully. People shouldn't focus their lives on "finding that special someone" anyway... |
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I just want to know why some men say they are looking for a long term relationship, but then when you get to know them..all's they want is the sex part..if your not willing to jump into bed with them right away, they go else where...what's up with that?? I'm willing to live the rest of my life alone if thats all thats out there..is anyone true these days? anyone know? Whatever happened to the old fashion dating where you get to know each other first and then get intimate? Is that gone with the wind? 
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Edited by
Nurseguy08
on
Sun 04/27/08 08:22 AM
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I just want to know why some men say they are looking for a long term relationship, but then when you get to know them..all's they want is the sex part..if your not willing to jump into bed with them right away, they go else where...what's up with that?? I'm willing to live the rest of my life alone if thats all thats out there..is anyone true these days? anyone know? Whatever happened to the old fashion dating where you get to know each other first and then get intimate? Is that gone with the wind? ok, most guys aren't like that. Most guys women are attracted to are, however. There is a trick in the dating world though. Providing your guy isn't a total loser, he won't go anywhere as long as there is some fofm of physical progression. You can keep it slow, but make sure there is some progression. Guys take a major hit to the ego when they are rejected from physical contact. Any insecure man would back immediately off and think "what, am i not good enough?". Although he SHOULD just take two steps back and go from there. Anyway, it's biologically up tp the male to persue. So there is no waiting for a woman to make the first move when you are a guy (sometimes you women have no idea i well you have it). So yeah, it's not about not getting the sex, it's about the rejection. Frankly i would be hesitant to take seriously, any guy who openly says he is interested in a long term relationship. He should be more a of "go with the flow" type. Basically if we just hang out as friends, if we click, then we take a it a little further. Being "open" to a long term relationship and "looking for" a long term relationship are two different entities. "open" to a long term relationship is what you are looking for. There is a general rule of thumb. Guys fear commitment more than women because they get more attached. Women are less afraid of commitment because they can move on easier. So, i would think, if a guy is "looking for" a long term relationship he is desperate to give is heart and spill his guts to someone. With this comes emotional baggage and insecurity. So treat carefully. People shouldn't focus their lives on "finding that special someone" anyway... Wow! Well said! And I agree 100%...personally I'm not sure there is the "perfect" match. I think a lot of people look over someone who could make them very happy for life trying to find the one who is exactly what they are looking for...the old "I won't settle for anything less" syndrome. I figure you never know who is going to be the one that you make a close (not perfect) match with so as long as the person is polite and respectful, why not chat? I still remember being told that there was no way a person and I could be compatible because I liked the group Forienger!
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another thing that REALLY irritates me with some guys..they play the "silent game" on U if they arent interested..they want it that way, so they dont have to come out and say it..thats messed up, i'm sorry..no communication..i asked one of my males friends on this and he said most dont pay attention, move on, eetc..how immature and this guy did just that and others too..i dont get it..whats wrong with coming out and saying how u feel? men have no feelings..none at all..most anyways.. I think this has more to do with who you are attracted to rather then the male species. You keep going for the aloof overly masculine anti social alpha male, and you get exactly that. You cant complain when all he wants is sex and seems to have no "feelings". |
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another thing that REALLY irritates me with some guys..they play the "silent game" on U if they arent interested..they want it that way, so they dont have to come out and say it..thats messed up, i'm sorry..no communication..i asked one of my males friends on this and he said most dont pay attention, move on, eetc..how immature and this guy did just that and others too..i dont get it..whats wrong with coming out and saying how u feel? men have no feelings..none at all..most anyways.. Happens to me alot. I tell them I am a big girl and I can handle anything they say even if they know I won't like it. But they still choose to give me the silent treatment. This is just rude. i understand that, but still a "Real Man" will come out and say it!!!!! .....is it that or are they concerned about hurting your feelings...so its easier to avoid...i know me personally...i have stayed in a relationship i knew was going no where...cause every time i tried to leave...i would get those tears...and with tears a women can get what ever she wants from me....even after she has went out on me...those tears bring me to my knees...like i did something wrong... |
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I just want to know why some men say they are looking for a long term relationship, but then when you get to know them..all's they want is the sex part..if your not willing to jump into bed with them right away, they go else where...what's up with that?? I'm willing to live the rest of my life alone if thats all thats out there..is anyone true these days? anyone know? Whatever happened to the old fashion dating where you get to know each other first and then get intimate? Is that gone with the wind? Good question. I would like to know the answer too. Where can I find one of these old fashion guys? I dated this one guy for 7 weeks. We saw each other 3-4x a week. So I thought since we were talking about sex I brought up about taking our profile down and be exclusive. That didn't go over well with him. Claims I didn't trust him. When I asked him in general what he wanted his answer was "we haven't had sex yet." But in the beginning he wanted a LTR. |
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I myself am an old fashioned LTR type of guy. I was with my ex for 15 years, and hope to spend a longer period of time with the next one.
I can't help you with wanting sex part because over those 15 years I was well trained in the art of " Your not getting any tonight". I got use to it, and found it made our marriage better. So sex to me is a nice thing in a relationship, not a requirement |
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Edited by
Drivinmenutz
on
Sun 04/27/08 10:35 AM
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another thing that REALLY irritates me with some guys..they play the "silent game" on U if they arent interested..they want it that way, so they dont have to come out and say it..thats messed up, i'm sorry..no communication..i asked one of my males friends on this and he said most dont pay attention, move on, eetc..how immature and this guy did just that and others too..i dont get it..whats wrong with coming out and saying how u feel? men have no feelings..none at all..most anyways.. i understand that, but still a "Real Man" will come out and say it!!!!! .....is it that or are they concerned about hurting your feelings...so its easier to avoid...i know me personally...i have stayed in a relationship i knew was going no where...cause every time i tried to leave...i would get those tears...and with tears a women can get what ever she wants from me....even after she has went out on me...those tears bring me to my knees...like i did something wrong... ok guys, take notes. I'm being serious on this. In therapist in therapy sessions encounter this type of problem a lot. Women feel less attraction to them for some reason. This is usually the woman's chief complaint. He isn't being "man" enough anymore. Here is the harsh truth guys. You never win a woman over by giving her flowers or kissing her a$$. You have to maintain just enough attachment to enjoy her company but not so much where you can't, specifically, put her feelings aside and tell her what's up. Regardless of the outcome. What does that mean? It means one of two things. A. You are a hardass, and your borderline sociopathic mind can detach itself from feelings in a given situation. Or B. You are a nice guy, but you really need to avoid opening up to her too much and getting too attached, NO MATTER WHAT! It's ok to like someone, but not ok to be all about them. Now once again, the way our brains are wire guys HAVE to do this because we natually get more attached than women. Women, psychologically can move on faster than guys. (this is according to psychologists) This also explains the fear of commitment from guys, as well as the womans willingness to commit. Interesting isnt it? Lesson learned. MAN UP! NEVER, and i mean NEVER let your inner wuss out. The minute you start being a wuss and letting emotions run things, you are screwed in the eyes of women. Earlier is a specific example of this. |
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