Community > Dating & Relationships

Topic: ...Have you got the guts to look in the mirror.....
nmmm Joined Sun 04/20/08 Posts: 71	Mon 04/21/08 01:31 PM
What I bring into relationships that end up keeping me single is aloofness toward the person. They have difficulty getting close to me emotionally. Granted its not a OCD behavior but it does get in the way of intmacy.

wickedlluccy Joined Mon 02/04/08 Posts: 1040	Mon 04/21/08 01:32 PM
i'm ocd about odd things knots, hands, the way things are lined up, eating, showering ...i know how that goes...i group my groceries at the check out by type or cold...room temp...frozen...I get hurt/disappointed if the box person does not do as i say and pack them accordingly.....my mentor father was a perfectionist, i know the how it happened...still struggle on not letting it rule my behavior in adverse ways....

wickedlluccy Joined Mon 02/04/08 Posts: 1040	Mon 04/21/08 01:36 PM
...Addictions and compulsions are defined as repeated behaviors that cause harm to one or more of the core areas of adult life...namely health, livelihood and primary relationships... ....what is it you bring in to your relationship/s that might help keep you single ? Smoking cigarettes. ..i was watchin the late late re-do of Oprah last night ...it was about a couple he was struggling w/quiting smoking, my new sweety smoke...I have asthma, I have thought alot about how this might effect living arrangements in a future...got depressed about it and went to sleep....

No1sLove Joined Wed 04/16/08 Posts: 10342	Mon 04/21/08 02:08 PM
...Addictions and compulsions are defined as repeated behaviors that cause harm to one or more of the core areas of adult life...namely health, livelihood and primary relationships... ....what is it you bring in to your relationship/s that might help keep you single ? Smoking cigarettes. ..i was watchin the late late re-do of Oprah last night ...it was about a couple he was struggling w/quiting smoking, my new sweety smoke...I have asthma, I have thought alot about how this might effect living arrangements in a future...got depressed about it and went to sleep.... Sorry to hear it. I started smoking outside years ago because of a similar situation. It was well worth it!

wickedlluccy Joined Mon 02/04/08 Posts: 1040	Mon 04/21/08 02:13 PM
...Addictions and compulsions are defined as repeated behaviors that cause harm to one or more of the core areas of adult life...namely health, livelihood and primary relationships... ....what is it you bring in to your relationship/s that might help keep you single ? Smoking cigarettes. ..i was watchin the late late re-do of Oprah last night ...it was about a couple he was struggling w/quiting smoking, my new sweety smoke...I have asthma, I have thought alot about how this might effect living arrangements in a future...got depressed about it and went to sleep.... Sorry to hear it. I started smoking outside years ago because of a similar situation. It was well worth it! ....but I'm also affraid to fall in love w/ a man whom is in a life and death struggel such as this....just scared he will get sick and break my heart....

BigGlenn Joined Thu 11/30/06 Posts: 4877	Mon 04/21/08 02:15 PM
I look sexy

No1sLove Joined Wed 04/16/08 Posts: 10342	Mon 04/21/08 02:28 PM
...Addictions and compulsions are defined as repeated behaviors that cause harm to one or more of the core areas of adult life...namely health, livelihood and primary relationships... ....what is it you bring in to your relationship/s that might help keep you single ? Smoking cigarettes. ..i was watchin the late late re-do of Oprah last night ...it was about a couple he was struggling w/quiting smoking, my new sweety smoke...I have asthma, I have thought alot about how this might effect living arrangements in a future...got depressed about it and went to sleep.... Sorry to hear it. I started smoking outside years ago because of a similar situation. It was well worth it! ....but I'm also affraid to fall in love w/ a man whom is in a life and death struggel such as this....just scared he will get sick and break my heart.... Nothing is without risk. But sometimes it's well worth it. I was engaged to a man who died of cancer, and wouldn't have traded my time with him for the world.

wickedlluccy Joined Mon 02/04/08 Posts: 1040	Mon 04/21/08 02:40 PM
....but I'm also affraid to fall in love w/ a man whom is in a life and death struggle such as this....just scared he will get sick and break my heart.... Nothing is without risk. But sometimes it's well worth it. I was engaged to a man who died of cancer, and wouldn't have traded my time with him for the world. ...just what my heart says to my head....and mostly I agree...but still scared ...but so far I'm in.... too deep already....

islandmom Joined Mon 10/22/07 Posts: 103	Mon 04/21/08 02:40 PM
i tend to come off really cold hearted sometimes...well....most of the time

wickedlluccy Joined Mon 02/04/08 Posts: 1040	Mon 04/21/08 02:44 PM Edited by wickedlluccy on Mon 04/21/08 02:46 PM
What I bring into relationships that end up keeping me single is aloofness toward the person. They have difficulty getting close to me emotionally. Granted its not a OCD behavior but it does get in the way of intmacy. i tend to come off really cold hearted sometimes...well....most of the time .....same as above basically..... ...I too have a defense mech that kicks in like that...certain people have a gift for disabling it...like my current sweety....it's hard to be good at being withholding ( not of sex or affection but of ones self over all)....I have a 15 yr old, daughter whom recognizes the same thing in her self..she already knows at 15 she has to work on that ....

EtherealEmbers Joined Sun 02/03/08 Posts: 6580	Mon 04/21/08 02:46 PM
I'D HAVE TO SAY THAT THE 5 BILLION MUTUAL MATCH CLICKS KEEP ME SINGLE Wow, 5 billion? What's the prerequisite.. they just have to be breathing? Man, I don't have anywhere near that many.

EtherealEmbers Joined Sun 02/03/08 Posts: 6580	Mon 04/21/08 02:49 PM
I have respect for myself and don't want to jump straight into bed.. guys I date seem to have a problem keeping their hands to themselves until I'm ready... so that keeps the relationships from budding... which is good to see in the beginning, because I don't want to be with a selfish jerk who doesn't respect me anyway!

nonchalantwendy Joined Mon 12/17/07 Posts: 13574	Mon 04/21/08 02:53 PM
I tend to put up walls and not let people in to see the inner me....defense mode I guess......don't want to be hurt.....

No1sLove Joined Wed 04/16/08 Posts: 10342	Mon 04/21/08 02:54 PM Edited by No1sLove on Mon 04/21/08 02:56 PM
....but I'm also affraid to fall in love w/ a man whom is in a life and death struggle such as this....just scared he will get sick and break my heart.... Nothing is without risk. But sometimes it's well worth it. I was engaged to a man who died of cancer, and wouldn't have traded my time with him for the world. ...just what my heart says to my head....and mostly I agree...but still scared ...but so far I'm in.... too deep already.... Good luck to you with this. I wish you the best of it!

notmytimeline20x6 Joined Wed 04/16/08 Posts: 305	Wed 04/23/08 05:33 AM
Look ever morning when brushing my teeth, don't like what I see. But after I get a shower it's a different story. ...thanks for taking my post so seriously....just though Id help somebody...but if all we need is jokes I'll just defer........ jokes on the subject aside , I understand your situation somewhat. I always seem tosay something wrong,like my attempt at humor to lighten the mood always seems to be just right to hit a sensitive topic, when it wasn't meant to go in that dirrection. Yes different situation same result they usually get mad take it personal and depart.

ddn122 Joined Mon 11/05/07 Posts: 12855	Wed 04/23/08 05:35 AM
i am not sure how many times I have to answer this question.......but here goes...... I am an asshole

notmytimeline20x6 Joined Wed 04/16/08 Posts: 305	Wed 04/23/08 05:41 AM
I have respect for myself and don't want to jump straight into bed.. guys I date seem to have a problem keeping their hands to themselves until I'm ready... so that keeps the relationships from budding... which is good to see in the beginning, because I don't want to be with a selfish jerk who doesn't respect me anyway! a little off topic, but how do you work that part in without being seen as just a guy looking for sex ,but after six months to a year the subject of sex comes up and 'your like a brother' to them ?

smuflicker Joined Mon 08/06/07 Posts: 4019	Wed 04/23/08 05:43 AM
I smoke but i know i need to quit

notmytimeline20x6 Joined Wed 04/16/08 Posts: 305	Wed 04/23/08 05:45 AM
...Addictions and compulsions are defined as repeated behaviors that cause harm to one or more of the core areas of adult life...namely health, livelihood and primary relationships... ....what is it you bring in to your relationship/s that might help keep you single ? Smoking cigarettes. ..i was watchin the late late re-do of Oprah last night ...it was about a couple he was struggling w/quiting smoking, my new sweety smoke...I have asthma, I have thought alot about how this might effect living arrangements in a future...got depressed about it and went to sleep.... Sorry to hear it. I started smoking outside years ago because of a similar situation. It was well worth it! smoking is almost simple ,the smoker just respects the personal space of who they'er with. If they can't hold out for a few hours maybe its not in the cards.

notmytimeline20x6 Joined Wed 04/16/08 Posts: 305	Wed 04/23/08 05:50 AM
....but I'm also affraid to fall in love w/ a man whom is in a life and death struggle such as this....just scared he will get sick and break my heart.... Nothing is without risk. But sometimes it's well worth it. I was engaged to a man who died of cancer, and wouldn't have traded my time with him for the world. ...just what my heart says to my head....and mostly I agree...but still scared ...but so far I'm in.... too deep already.... Good luck to you with this. I wish you the best of it! if you are that into them , enjoy your time together every minute is priceless. Evry ending or change brings some pain or remorse but life is short ,dont sweat the details and enjoy your time together