wow jasmine I neve thought i would meet another mom with a kid with adhd
and bi polar. Mine is 8 and He is a pain in my ass we should talk more.
The more we know the better

This isn't going to be real popular, as I see from the other posts. But,
I have raised two children...now 27, married with her own child, and 24,
working and going to school.
I'm about to disagree with previous posts, and suggest that you don't
reward inappropriate behavior with hugs, cuddles, finger painting, and
MORE attention. Inappropriate behavior is just that, and I don't feel
that you will be doing your child a favor in life, by teaching them that
if they behave poorly they will get favorable attention.
There is a happy medium in life, and our behavior influences positive
effects at any age.
Case Scenario: You work hard to buy furniture and toys for a child that
isn't respecting the items. Calmly sit the child down and explain that
this is not acceptable behavior, so you are going to remove all of the
toys from the drawer until they can show respect for the items. THEN,
and this is important...follow up, and do it. Wait a week, then give the
items back, explaining how they are to be cared for. Yeah, I know...this
is a lot of work, but trust me...parenting is a lot of hard work.
Correct small problems early to avoid large problems later.
The reward for you will pay off by raising a child that looks for
positive reinforcement by doing GOOD. Children learn what they
live...very true. Lets try to teach our children to become adults that
respect property, and feelings of those around them.

at 2 and 3, children don't understand that furniture isn't supposed to
be scratched, damaged, etcetera...all they see is "wow, daddy got us a
new playtoy!"

don't buy them good furniture until they are old enough to care. it's
normal. and your two-year-old may have been having so much fun with her
new stuff...that she forgot to make it to the bathroom on time.

lots of hugs for the little ones, and good luck.

well i have two girls of my own ages 4 & 7 and boy are they driving me crazy.

The youngest destroys everything the eldest is a little more responsible, but sometimes they just don't listen to me.
They are only like that when then are at home but they are very well behaved when they go out.But when they are at home it is a different story. When their dad is around the behave so well but not with me.

Lately though they have started listening to me.

Why?
well my eldest sister, she's a teacher and a mother of one, sat them both down and had a very nice chat with them, oh and they listened for it has been 2 weeks since her chat with them and I so I am now a lot less frustrated.

Even though we are parents sometimes we need an outside intervention, there is only so much that we can do, and having to deal with 2 kids with so much energy can take its toll on us.

Try finding them something constustive to do with them, play with them and wear them out. You might want to talk to them about the rules of the bedroom. Be firm but fair, sometimes all it takes is to redirect their mind into something positive and creative.

I have my four year old son all the time. His mother does not come around or even call to telk to him. When I first got custody of him he was acting out and breaking things, had major attitude, would not listen, etc. I found out that most of it was because he wanted the attention. Just start doing more with your kids and the most important thing you need to remember, when doing things with young children you need to get down to their level. If they want to play something then get down on the floor and play, if they want to talk then kneel down and talk. It's very hard and frustrating at times to be a single parent but it is all worth it.

I am a single mom of 5 there ages are 7 boy 6 girl 3 year old identical twin boys and a 8 month old baby girl. I am on lock down 24/7 and have had the same problems as you. My advice is to spend time in their room and talk about what their objects in there means at those ages they have no real understanding unless you repeat and repeat and tell them. They have no understanding what the bed means what the dresser is for and so on. I know it sound stupid and you understand what things are but repeating is the key and yes it's annoying as all get out but imagine you don't understand what something means and the importance of it. Oh by the way they always act perfect around everybody else but when it's you and them it's evil I know what your talking about with the plotting but you need to get out and also keep firm. I hope this helped.