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| Topic: Ok, I think Im doing it all wrong!! | |
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I found that an only child gets spoiled, it is just the degree you can control. Try to fucus him away from "him". Try to use words other than "no" and say things such as "No thank you" if he is being unkind, or "later", "unsafe", "hot", "danger", "ouchie", "not yours", "mommy's"... that sort of thing. It directs the attention outward and helps him see things as belonging to others and can hurt him without using the word "no" all the time. That way, when you say "no" he is more apt to listen. I found that to be very helpful. Oh wow, thanks. I never thought of that. I will definatly try to use those type of words instead of NO. I always said I never wanted to use the word NO anyhow. 
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hes still a baby he doesnt understand all the time.. all children are spoiled.. my cousin was telling her daughter something that totally suprised me and i actually wondered if she understood for that age. she now 10yrs old and i havent seen her sense she was 2yrs old. Thats the thing, I want to understand how to discipline him for his age. I feel so bad when I hear him cry. Tears me to pieces. 
 most lil ones know by then to throw a fit to get what they want. It's not you kitten... all 1 year old kids do that. Oh and btw, they only get sneakier with age
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I think that we all go through this with our kids...I think you are going to do the right thing..reguardless...what works for one kid doesn't work for all...he is only 1 so discipline is just starting...you will figure out what gets his attention...use that for as long as it works..
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I would let my daughter throw her fit and ignore her... once she realized tantrums didn't get her what she wanted, she quit doing it. If she threw a fit at the park, I would remind her how we "would have been" going to the park, but since she didn't behave last time, we can't go for awhile. I try the ignore thing, but my heart breaks when I look at his sweet face and those big fat tears.  He has me wrapped around his wittle finger.
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I would let my daughter throw her fit and ignore her... once she realized tantrums didn't get her what she wanted, she quit doing it. If she threw a fit at the park, I would remind her how we "would have been" going to the park, but since she didn't behave last time, we can't go for awhile. I try the ignore thing, but my heart breaks when I look at his sweet face and those big fat tears. He has me wrapped around his wittle finger.
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Temper tantrums are just their way to get attention- so if you tell him no when he wants something and you put it away- leave it put away and you leave the room- performing to an empty room is no fun- he will learn to stop if you do not react to them in the park- when you tell him no or tell him to do something- and he ignores you---- this is a huge pain in the butt- but go get him - and take him home- he has to learn to listen to you and every action has a reaction. My son did all that stuff- and he does not now- it stopped fast. just remember he's only a baby- it'll come to him. 
Wow thanks!! I will wake up tomorrow a much wiser mom.
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Kitten~~ My dad is a pediatrician and he taught me two things I will never ever forget.
1. Love your child enough to tell them "no" every time (in a variety of ways) 2. Consistency equals safety. Your son does things over and over to make sure he can count on things.. Safety and Security. That block he puts in the box? The keys he throws on the floor... He wants to be sure it happens over and over again. He needs it to, to figure out how things work. If he does something wrong you need to react the same way too, every single time, so he feels safe and knows you will react a certain way. That keeps his world safe and teaches him how to be.
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March babies Rock,, mines the 28th, have two kids born in march too.
Yes they do. Perfect time to be pregnant too.
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March babies Rock,, mines the 28th, have two kids born in march too.
my son is a march baby .. his is march 17th st paddy day
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The biggest thing is consistency... otherwise they get confused. Yep, supernanny did teach me that. I am very consistent about things with him. But it seems there is something new everyday. 
Ahh learning new ways to torture mommy.. it's a beautiful thing!
Everyone throws their fits in life, even some of us as adults. I learned recently in a child development class of mine that's it's a really good thing to not tell them "No" for too many things. Try your best to always surround them with things they're allowed to touch and play with, because they love to test everything is a complete sensory experience for them. Your lil one might think it's the most freeing thing on the planet (like a lot of grown men) to pee wherever they see fit. Remind him of places he's allowed to do things and give him positive affirmations when he does them where they should be done. I bet you're doing just fine.
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Kitten~~ My dad is a pediatrician and he taught me two things I will never ever forget. 1. Love your child enough to tell them "no" every time (in a variety of ways) 2. Consistency equals safety. Your son does things over and over to make sure he can count on things.. Safety and Security. That block he puts in the box? The keys he throws on the floor... He wants to be sure it happens over and over again. He needs it to, to figure out how things work. If he does something wrong you need to react the same way too, every single time, so he feels safe and knows you will react a certain way. That keeps his world safe and teaches him how to be.
wish i had this great advice when my kids were younger! you're in good hands here hellkitten!
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lol, sounds like completely normal kids stuff to me
Have you tried practicing giving things back and forth like a little game? things he isn't already worked up over? smile when you give it to em, say please and thank you That is what I have tried. Sometimes kids just don't realize how that stuff works untill ya show em a few times, lol. |
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That way, when you say "no" he is more apt to listen. Yet.. She tells me 'no' all the time! I don't pay any attention. |
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p.s. don't use tape...it hurts like a mother when you pull it off
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Kitten~~ My dad is a pediatrician and he taught me two things I will never ever forget. 1. Love your child enough to tell them "no" every time (in a variety of ways) 2. Consistency equals safety. Your son does things over and over to make sure he can count on things.. Safety and Security. That block he puts in the box? The keys he throws on the floor... He wants to be sure it happens over and over again. He needs it to, to figure out how things work. If he does something wrong you need to react the same way too, every single time, so he feels safe and knows you will react a certain way. That keeps his world safe and teaches him how to be.
That is exactly what I needed to hear. I don't know what I would do without this site. You people are freakin awesome!!
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Ok, so my son just turned a year old on March 25th. He is so sweet most of the time, but I can also sense that he may be a little spoiled. If I have something in my hand, that he wants and I say NO or put it away, he will pull a huge temper tantrum. When I take him to the park and he is walking around and I tell him NO, he doesn't even listen to me. Doesn't think twice about going about his business and doing whatever he wants. I don't want him to be spoiled. I want him to be a thoughtful young man and mind and respect me. How does this happen? Luckily he's still young. It's important to set boundaries at an early age. Doesn't sound like you need to worry too much now, just make sure you set boundaries and teach him now. Sounds pretty normal. He's just testing the boundaries, seeing what he can get away with. |
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The biggest thing is consistency... otherwise they get confused. Yep, supernanny did teach me that. I am very consistent about things with him. But it seems there is something new everyday.
Ahh learning new ways to torture mommy.. it's a beautiful thing!
Everyone throws their fits in life, even some of us as adults. I learned recently in a child development class of mine that's it's a really good thing to not tell them "No" for too many things. Try your best to always surround them with things they're allowed to touch and play with, because they love to test everything is a complete sensory experience for them. Your lil one might think it's the most freeing thing on the planet (like a lot of grown men) to pee wherever they see fit. Remind him of places he's allowed to do things and give him positive affirmations when he does them where they should be done. I bet you're doing just fine.
Thank you sweetie. Damn your all so smart. Im so new at this whole parenting thing. Some things came natural, and obviously this doesn't.
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That is exactly what I needed to hear. I don't know what I would do without this site. You people are freakin awesome!!
I will pay that forward to my freakin awesome parents, my dear! 
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2 different issues
1, the temper tantrum, never give them any power, pay no attention to them and as soon as he gets they are not going to work he will stop. 2, when you speak and he does not listen give that all kinds of attention and make it so horrible for him that his only choice is to listen. Make it where he will decided to listen out of fear. The reason for that is because that could be his life and its a matter of safety... My .02 |
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Im so new at this whole parenting thing. Some things came natural, and obviously this doesn't.
Nope, it doesn't. Wait until he starts talking ...even better wait until he can't express himself so he throws and bites! Right before his verbal skills improve...That is a rocking good time!
You are doing fine... and as long as you love him enough to ask questions about this stuff? He has a great mommy and is lucky to have you. |
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