I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so
much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing.. I have never
figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed.
Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel like
it, I just want you to hold me."

I said "WHAT??!! What was that?!"

So she says the words that every husband on the planet dreads to hear...
"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to
satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my puzzled look by
saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the
bedroom?"

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and
then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with
her while she tried on several very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which
one to take so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to
compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit. We went
onto the jewelry department where she picked out pair of diamond earrings.

Let me tell you....she was so excited. She must have thought I was one
wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she
asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis.

I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was
almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.

Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all
dear, let's go to the cashier."

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it."

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a
baffled----"WHAT?"

I then said "honey, I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're
just not in touch with my financial means as a man enough for me to satisfy your
shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this look like she was going
to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the
things I buy you?"

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either

lmao omg is that a true story or a joke

if it is it isnt mine

i like that it was funny