The size of a pea the mammogram showed-
Everything black except the small dot that glowed;
The Dr's face displayed much concern
He took more pictures to see what he'd learn.
Poked, and prodded, in rooms full of white
I lay here and replay the whole day tonight.
How do you feel, what do you say
I open my mouth but in silence I pray.
What will be the outcome, I try not to fear-
But I know it could be what I dont want to hear.
Dont borrow trouble, results will come soon.
But I feel as cold and white as that blank Dr's room.
Darting back and forth between being strong and afraid
I look at my reflection feeling somewhat dismayed.
No tears in front of anyone, I cant fall apart.
Cant let them see the fear in my heart.
They treat me differently when I tell them the news
But what would they want if they stood in my shoes?
Think positive, think bold, hold onto your faith
What ever happens, your strong enough to face.
My childrens faces are too much to take
As I try to minimalize the news I must break.
I tell them its routine, The Dr's and tests
But inside Im fearful I could lose my breast
Part of what defines me as woman could be
gone in a instant and that bothers me.
Not to be vain, But I think its natural I'd say
To be concerned how it feels living that way.
Will I need Chemo? Will I be lose my hair
When people see me will they stop and stare?
How do I cope and sort out these emotions
Feels like Im swimming alone in an ocean.
God please help me know what to do
I cant make it thru all of this without you.

*honestly crying*

Oh my Gosh that was sooo beautiful and heartfelt.You're in my prayers.I
really hope everything's fine.From what I know of you you're a great
person.Be strong but remember that it's OK to cry.My mom went thru it
and she never let herself cry.It makes it harder to keep it all
inside.God Bless

Thanks songbird-
I went thru it with my grannie she lost both breasts and I guess going
thru that with her (knowing geneticly it could be hereditary) Is alittle
freaky for me.
I told my daughter as much as it affects the whole family and I know
they are there for me supporting me, It is so personal.
An endless array of emotions flood me at any given time.
I thank you for your prayers and words of encouragement.
God bless you too.

Good Eve.GEL.I haven't heard from you in awhile.I miss your poems.I am
very glad to see you back.And yes that is truly frightening.Genes can be
very unforgiving and unfortunately we have no control over them.There
are so many things we can change,alter,adjust or manipulate in our lives
to achieve our goals,however this is not one of them.You are a very
beautiful and strong woman and I know you will get through this.Stay
strong and faithful gurl and this will come to pass.With your strong
faith in God and support from your friends this challenge will be
defeated.Meanwhile,I have added you to my prayer list O.K.Don't forget
you also have friends at JSH who will offer you support
alright.Godspeed!Your Friend,Cybear.(((hug)))

Wow Brought back memories of my Mother,,, My deepest prayers go out to
you and wish you all the best in this uphill moment in your life,,,,
Thank you for sharing your (being) with us...
D :)

Thanks guys-Its the waiting for the results that is truly
the test. Its almost agonizing. But come what may I am tough and I know
I am not alone.
Thank you all for such love coming my way
Many Blessings to you all

Keeping my fingers crossed for you and keeping you in my prayers.

Greeneyelady, you are never alone,,,,
((((((hugs)))))))))))

Girl we are all praying for you. We know you are strong to a point but
we will all always be here if you ever need us.