What kinda of bees make milk?
-BOO-BEES!

What would happen if you cut off your left side?
-You'd be alright

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's last cd?
-Neither has he

What do you call cheese that is not yours?
-Nacho cheese

What do you get when you mix LSD and birth control?
-A trip without the kids

Why dont bunnies make noise when they have sex?
-They have cotton balls

What's the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts?
-Beer nuts are $1 and deer nuts are always under a buck

What does it mean when the flag at the post office is flying at half-mast?
-They're hiring

What's the job application at Hooters?
-They give you a bra and say "here, fill this out"

What is the hardest part of roller blading?
-Telling your parents that you're gay

What did the lesbian vampire say to the other lesbian vampire?
-I'll see you next month

What do you call a gay dentist?
-Tooth fairy

What has 8 wheels and flies?
-A garbage truck

What do you call a school bus full of white people?
-A twinkie

What did the one tampon say to the other?
-Nothing, they were both stuck up b**ches

Why didn't Ray Charles make it to heaven?
-He couldn't see the light

Why did the mafia cross the road?
-Forget about it

What's the best part about dating a homeless chick?
-You can drop her off anywhere

What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?
-Wiped his a**

How do you stop a dog from humping your leg?
-Suck his ****

What is the difference between "ooooohh" and "ahhhhhh"?
-About 3 inches

Who makes more money a drug dealer or a prostitute?
-The prostitute. She can wash her crack and sell it again

What do you call a Vietnamese guy who thinks he's black?
-Vinegar

What would be the funniest thing to put in a black church?
-The clapper

What's the difference between a black man and a canoe?
-A canoe will occasionaly tip

How does every black joke start?
-By looking over your shoulder

What do you call 300 white men chasing a black man?
-The PGA tour

What's black and blue and floats?
-a white guy who told too many black jokes

How do we know that Noah wasn't black?
-He only took 2 chickens

Why cant Mexicans have a barbeque?
-Cause the beans keep falling through the grill

What do you get when a Mexican and an asian have a baby?
-A car thief who cant drive

Why can't Mexicans be firefighters?
-They can't tell Jose from hose B

What do you call a Mexican with a rubber toe?
-Roberto

What do you call 2 Mexicans playing basketball?
-Juan on Juan

Why did the blonde have sex with the Mexican?
-Her teacher told her she had to do an essay

Why did God give men penises?
-So they have at least 1 way to shut women up

How is a woman like a laxitive?
-They both irritate the s*** out of you

What does a woman put behind her ears to make herself more attractive?
-Her ankles

How can you make your girlfriend scream while having sex?
-Call her and tell her

How are women like rocks?
-You skip the flat ones

What do you do when your dishwasher stops working?
-Tell her to get back to work

What's the difference between a penis and a bonus?
-Your wife will always bl** your bonus

How do you blind an asian?
-Put a windshield in front of them

What's better than honor?
-In her

Why are hurricanes normally named after women?
-When they come they're wet and wild, but when they go they take your house and car with them

Why cant an asian couple have a white baby?
-2 Wongs dont make a white

What do you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?
-A speech impediment

What's the difference between an irish wedding and an irish funeral
-1 less drunk

Why do jews have big noses?
-Air is free

What's white and goes up?
-a snowflake with downs

What do you do if an epiletic person has a siezure in your bathtub?
-Throw in the laundry

What do you call an anorexic with a yeast infection?
-Quarter pounder with cheese

What did the retarded apple say?
-Meow

How many kids with A.D.D. does it take to change a lightbulb?
-Want to ride bikes?

What's the opposite of Christopher Reeves?
-Christopher Walken

What does D.A.M. stand for?
-Mothers Against Dyslexia