Topic: Is there really such thing
azrae1l's photo
Wed 04/02/08 12:43 PM
i really wanna know how i'm benefiting.....

me2g's photo
Wed 04/02/08 12:46 PM

i really wanna know how i'm benefiting.....

cuz you know your doin right by your son.. believe it or not your showin him how to be a real man!

azrae1l's photo
Wed 04/02/08 12:47 PM
Edited by azrae1l on Wed 04/02/08 12:55 PM
i don't see how me teaching him right from wrong benefits me at all.

frankly i want her gone. i could take full custody with no problems and i really want to. i also know i'm not doing right by him, eventually she'll walk out on him again, he'll learn what kind of person she is and he'll end up not liking her as well.

Jillybean31's photo
Wed 04/02/08 12:49 PM

ok, i'll answer this one honestly since you seem to think everybody is out for themselves in sort of way....

i deal with my ex so my son can still have his mother at least what little mother he has. i get nothing from her in any way shape or form. i collect no child support, we don't speak, we're not friendly to each other, i have absolutely no use for her in any way shape or form. we fight constantly, we have nothing nice to say to each other, i have to deal with seeing the woman who cheated on me and walked out on her family for a weekend peice of ass. she see's him strictly because he has a right to know his mother.

what do i gain from this situation? i do it only for him...
See, there are some good ones left ladies! :heart:

soundedmind's photo
Wed 04/02/08 12:49 PM
I've done things for people just because I care for them.


Not because of the feeling I get from helping them.


Maybe more of the feeling I would have if I didn't help them.


Love is a selfless act, I think. And it makes you do all kinds of nice things.

Mostly stupid things, but nice, too.

bigsmile bigsmile bigsmile bigsmile

lilith401's photo
Wed 04/02/08 12:50 PM

See, there are some good ones left ladies! :heart:


I know Jilly.. isn't he a dreamboat?

MissBehaving's photo
Wed 04/02/08 12:50 PM

I guess it depends on how judgemental you are ( you in the general sense not "you" specifically)

bigsmile


azrae1l's photo
Wed 04/02/08 12:52 PM


See, there are some good ones left ladies! :heart:


I know Jilly.. isn't he a dreamboat?


more like a tugboat......

TheShadow's photo
Wed 04/02/08 12:53 PM

Is there REALLY such a thing as a selfless act? I mean think about this... even the most innocent, thoughtful, caring, giving gestures are done for some sort of personal gain.. even if it is just that warm fuzzy feeling.. self gratification. grumble


Your thinking to muchlaugh

Jillybean31's photo
Wed 04/02/08 01:04 PM


i really wanna know how i'm benefiting.....

cuz you know your doin right by your son.. believe it or not your showin him how to be a real man!
Any true act of selflessness should be a lesson to us all at any age. Thanks for the lesson babe! I hope I'm as giving a parent if I ever face a similar situation.

makingchangesagain's photo
Wed 04/02/08 01:05 PM
Edited by makingchangesagain on Wed 04/02/08 01:06 PM
I believe a selfless act is something you do when there are no witnesses.For example if you give money to a person starving on the street the only ones who know is you,that person,and god..glasses .

azrae1l's photo
Wed 04/02/08 01:06 PM
i suppose i'm not getting an answer....

MsTeddyBear2u's photo
Wed 04/02/08 01:09 PM

I believe a selfless act is something you do when there are no witnesses.For example if you give money to a person starving on the street the only ones who know is you,that person,and god..glasses .



I agree! :smile: flowerforyou

Welcome to the posts and site makingchangesagain flowerforyou

PacificStar48's photo
Wed 04/02/08 01:20 PM


i really wanna know how i'm benefiting.....

cuz you know your doin right by your son.. believe it or not your showin him how to be a real man!

Or MAYBE I stress maybe you are so angry you are trying to make her look even worse by being the "bigger" person. THen it wouldn't seem so selfless. The good thing is it ends up that way because nothing hurts a child like someone hateing the parent so much that they down them which indirectly is downing half of what a child sees themself as. A child will find some glimmer of something good in both parents if given a chance. If nothing more that they brought them into the world. In your case that may be your Ex's saving grace.

azrae1l's photo
Wed 04/02/08 01:20 PM
i hate it when people start a debate like this and walk away with out even providing any sort of proof for their arguments.

Jillybean31's photo
Wed 04/02/08 01:21 PM

i suppose i'm not getting an answer....
Thought it was rhetorical. But my opinion is that while the aftereffect may bring you a sense of pride in knowing you're doing the right thing, the act alone is benefiting your son and ex wife and not you...especially if it's an uncomfortable reunion each time he sees her.

AaronzDad's photo
Wed 04/02/08 01:23 PM
Is there REALLY such a thing as a selfless act? I mean think about this... even the most innocent, thoughtful, caring, giving gestures are done for some sort of personal gain.. even if it is just that warm fuzzy feeling.. self gratification. grumble


I believe your cynicism has reached the point of being derangement.

Go seek help.

azrae1l's photo
Wed 04/02/08 01:24 PM
Edited by azrae1l on Wed 04/02/08 01:27 PM



i really wanna know how i'm benefiting.....

cuz you know your doin right by your son.. believe it or not your showin him how to be a real man!

Or MAYBE I stress maybe you are so angry you are trying to make her look even worse by being the "bigger" person. THen it wouldn't seem so selfless. The good thing is it ends up that way because nothing hurts a child like someone hateing the parent so much that they down them which indirectly is downing half of what a child sees themself as. A child will find some glimmer of something good in both parents if given a chance. If nothing more that they brought them into the world. In your case that may be your Ex's saving grace.


ok so your saying by me having nothing to do with her, and i mean nothing. i don't speak about her at all to anyone. our whole relationship now is me dropping him off and asking what time i pick him up. i don't insult her, i don't rag on her. yeah i know eventually she'll screw it up like she does with every other relationship she has with anybody. but no i make it a point not to say anything about her, i want him to learn what she's like on her own.

so once again, how do i benefit here?

emotionally?..... nope
monetarily?...... nope
physically?...... nope

sorry i just don't see it....

me2g's photo
Wed 04/02/08 01:25 PM

i don't see how me teaching him right from wrong benefits me at all.


I don't see how it doesnt??

ominousman26's photo
Wed 04/02/08 01:27 PM
i remember one time where i needed to use the elevator and as soon as i got there there was an old lady who needed to use it too,i looked at her and said,"oh.....you can use it afterbigsmile ."i think she flipped me offlaugh