Topic: Fun With Telemarketers
uk1971's photo
Mon 03/31/08 02:31 AM
Me: Hello.

AT&T: Hello, this is AT&T.

Me: Is this AT&T?

AT&T: Yes, this is AT&T.

Me: This is AT&T?

AT&T: Yes. This is AT&T.

Me: Is this AT&T?

AT&T: Yes! This is AT&T. May I speak to Mr. Salem please?

Me: May I ask who is calling?

AT&T: This is AT&T.

Me: Ok, hold on.

At this point, I put the phone down for a solid five minutes thinking that, surely, this person would have hung up the phone. I ate my salad. Much to my surprise, when I picked up the receiver, she was still waiting.

Me: Hello?

AT&T: Is this Mr. Salem?

Me: May I ask who is calling please?

AT&T: Yes, this is AT&T.

Me: Is this AT&T?

AT&T: Yes, this is AT&T.

Me: This is AT&T?

AT&T: Yes, is this Mr. Salem?

Me: Yes, is this AT&T?

AT&T: Yes, sir.

Me: The phone company?

AT&T: Yes, sir.

Me: I thought you said this was AT&T.

AT&T: Yes, sir, we are a phone company.

Me: I already have a phone.

AT&T: We aren't selling phones today, Mr. Salem.

Me: Well, whatever it is, I'm really not interested, but thanks for calling.

When you are not interested in something, I don't think you can express yourself any plainer than by saying "I'm really not interested," but this lady was persistent.

AT&T: Mr. Salem, we would like to offer you 10 cents a minute, 24 hours a day, seven days a week, 365 days a year.

Now, I am sure she meant she was offering a "rate" of 10 cents a minute, but she at no time used the word "rate." I could clearly see that it was time to whip out the trusty old calculator and do a little ciphering.

Me: Now, that's 10 cents a minute, 24 hours a day?

AT&T: (getting a little excited at this point by my interest) Yes, sir, that's right! 24 hours a day!

Me: Seven days a week?

AT&T: That's right.

Me: Three hundred and sixty-five days a year?

AT&T: Yes, sir.

Me: I am definitely interested in that! Wow!! That's amazing!!

AT&T: We think so!

Me: That's quite a sum of money!

AT&T: Yes, sir, it's amazing how it adds up.

Me: Ok, so will you send me checks weekly, monthly or just one big one at the end of the year for the full $52,560? If you send an annual check, can I get a cash advance?

AT&T: Excuse me?

Me: You know, the 10 cents a minute.

AT&T: What are you talking about?

Me: You said you'd give me 10 cents a minute, 24 hours a day, seven days a week, 365 days a year. That comes to $144 per day, $1,008 per week and $52,560 per year. I'm just interested in knowing how you will be making the payment.

AT&T: Oh no, sir, I didn't mean we'd be paying you. You pay us 10 cents a minute.

Me: Wait a minute here! Didn't you say you'd give me 10 cents a minute? Are you sure this is AT&T?

AT&T: Well, yes, this is AT&T, sir, but...

Me: But nothing! How do you figure that by saying that you'll give me 10 cents a minute that I'll give you 10 cents a minute? Is this some kind of subliminal telemarketing scheme? I've read about things like this in the Enquirer, you know. Don't use your alien brainwashing techniques on me.

AT&T: No, sir, we are offering 10 cents a minute for...

Me: There you go again! Can I speak to a supervisor please?!?

AT&T: Sir, I don't think that is necessary.

Me: Sure! You say that now! What happens later?

AT&T: What?

Me: I insist on speaking to a supervisor!

AT&T: Yes, Mr. Salem. Please hold.

So, now AT&T has me on hold and my supper is getting cold. I begin to eat while I'm waiting for a supervisor. After a wait of a few minutes and while I have a mouth full of food...

Supervisor: Mr. Salem?

Me: Yeth?

Supervisor: I understand you are not quite understanding our 10 cents a minute program.

Me: Id thish Ath Teeth & Teeth? (Is this AT&T)

Supervisor: Yes, sir, it sure is.

I had to swallow before I choked on my food. It was all I could do to suppress my laughter and I had to be careful not to produce a snort.

Me: No, actually I was just waiting for someone to get back to me so that I could sign up for the plan.

Supervisor: OK, no problem. I'll transfer you back to the person who was helping you.

Me: Thank you.

I was on hold once again and managed a few more mouthfuls. I needed to end this conversation. Suddenly, there was an aggravated but polite voice at the other end of the phone.

AT&T: Hello, Mr. Salem. I understand that you are interested in signing up for our plan.

Me: Do you have that friends and family thing, because you can never have enough friends and I'm an only child and I'd really like to have a little brother.

AT&T: (click)

bigsmile glasses

VirginVirgo's photo
Mon 03/31/08 02:32 AM
lmao i would have prolbly ended up cursing the dude asking if its at& t out

no photo
Mon 03/31/08 02:42 AM
I'm dyin' from laughter!!!!!!laugh laugh laugh

Oh, God!!!laugh laugh

My gut hurts so bad......

That one had tears comin' outta my eyes!!!!laugh laugh laugh

darkowl1's photo
Mon 03/31/08 02:44 AM
beautifullaugh laugh laugh laugh laugh laugh

hellkitten54's photo
Mon 03/31/08 02:47 AM
laugh laugh laugh laugh bigsmile

Army_Strong's photo
Mon 03/31/08 02:52 AM
LMFAO! That is some funny stuff. I couldn't of helped myself from laughing. That's good. I'm gonna do that the next time they call me! lmao. Nice job man hahahahaha

pilgrimandpagan's photo
Mon 03/31/08 03:02 AM
laugh laugh laugh

DTHRomeo's photo
Mon 03/31/08 03:11 AM
LMAO laugh sad laugh sad laugh

OrangeCat's photo
Mon 03/31/08 03:11 AM
laugh laugh laugh laugh laugh laugh laugh laugh laugh

DaveyB's photo
Mon 03/31/08 08:03 AM
laugh laugh

I've done similar things but nothing quite good as that. You are brilliantdrinker

someguy1313's photo
Tue 04/01/08 11:43 AM
laugh

harrypotter2's photo
Tue 04/01/08 08:36 PM
Works for me. laugh laugh laugh