The cure is...HUGS and CHOCOLATE!!!!!

You know there have been many moments in my life where I too felt like I was living out "the art of war"... But What I really want to do is just be happy, love somebody real good...have them love me real good...hold hands laugh..fight ...make up...be happy...

We are all looking for the "One Just One"...Arent we?? I would love to be able to share these things with a man and have him give me what I needed also...Where oh where can he be???

There really is no way to prevent a broken heart ...you can have your heart broken by any one you love...My children have broken my heart on several different occassions....But I still love them....That is part of life ...you know they say it takes bot rain and sun to make the rainbow....Everyone wants to love and be loved...it cant be faiytale perfect...but it can be wonderful most of the time...if we choose to make it wonderful...

Hi everyone!!! I have just finished reading the best book!! It is called "The 5 Languages of Love"By Gary Chapman...Basicly if you know what you need to feel really loved, and your partner knows what they need to feel really loved...You share that information with each other..and you do the things your partner needs because we want to ...we do it for love's sake...its a choice to love them and do it for them....

The Five Love Languages

Words of Affirmation:

Mark Twain once said “I can live for two months on a good compliment.” Verbal appreciation speaks powerfully to persons whose primary Love Language is “Words of Affirmation.” Simple statements, such as, “You look great in that suit,” or “You must be the best baker in the world! I love your oatmeal cookies,” are sometimes all a person needs to hear to feel loved.Aside from verbal compliments, another way to communicate through “Words of Affirmation” is to offer encouragement. Here are some examples: reinforcing a difficult decision; calling attention to progress made on a current project; acknowledging a person’s unique perspective on an important topic. If a loved one listens for “Words of Affirmation,” offering encouragement will help him or her to overcome insecurities and develop greater confidence.

Quality Time:

Quality time is more than mere proximity. It’s about focusing all your energy on your mate. A husband watching sports while talking to his wife is NOT quality time. Unless all of your attention is focused on your mate, even an intimate dinner for two can come and go without a minute of quality time being shared.

Quality conversation is very important in a healthy relationship. It involves sharing experiences, thoughts, feelings and desires in a friendly, uninterrupted context. A good mate will not only listen, but offer advice and respond to assure their mate they are truly listening. Many mates don’t expect you to solve their problems. They need a sympathetic listener.

An important aspect of quality conversation is self-revelation. In order for you to communicate with your mate, you must also be in tune with your inner emotions. It is only when you understand your emotions and inner feelings will you then be able to share quality conversation, and quality time with your mate.

Quality activities are a very important part of quality time. Many mates feel most loved when they spend physical time together, doing activities that they love to do. Spending time together will bring a couple closer, and, in the years to come, will fill up a memory bank that you can reminisce about in the future.
Whether it’s sitting on the couch and having a brief conversation or playing together in a tennis league, quality time is a love language that is shared by many. Setting aside focused time with your mate will ensure a happy marriage.



Receiving Gifts:

Some mates respond well to visual symbols of love. If you speak this love language, you are more likely to treasure any gift as an expression of love and devotion. People who speak this love language often feel that a lack of gifts represents a lack of love from their mate. Luckily, this love language is one of the easiest to learn.

If you want to become an effective gift giver, many mates will have to learn to change their attitude about money. If you are naturally a spender, you will have no trouble buying gifts for your mate. However, a person who is used to investing and saving their money may have a tough time adjusting to the concept of spending money as an expression of love. These people must understand that you are investing the money not in gifts, but in deepening your relationship with your mate.

The gift of self is an important symbol of love. Sometimes all your mate desires is for someone to be there for them, going through the same trials and experiencing the same things. Your body can become a very powerful physical symbol of love.

These gifts need not to come every day, or even every week. They don’t even need to cost a lot of money. Free, frequent, expensive, or rare, if your mate relates to the language of receiving gifts, any visible sign of your love will leave them feeling happy and secure in your relationship.



Acts of Service:

Sometimes simple chores around the house can be an undeniable expression of love. Even simple things like laundry and taking out the trash require some form of planning, time, effort, and energy. Just as Jesus demonstrated when he washed the feet of his disciples, doing humble chores can be a very powerful expression of love and devotion to your mate.

Very often, both pairs in a couple will speak to the Acts of Service Language. However, it is very important to understand what acts of service your mate most appreciates. Even though couples are helping each other around the house, couples will still fight because the are unknowingly communicating with each other in two different dialects. For example, a wife may spend her day washing the cars and walking the dog, but if her husband feels that laundry and dishes are a superior necessity, he may feel unloved, despite the fact that his wife did many other chores throughout the day. It is important to learn your mate’s dialect and work hard to understand what acts of service will show your love.

It is important to do these acts of service out of love and not obligation. A mate who does chores and helps out around the house out of guilt or fear will inevitably not be speaking a language of love, but a language of resentment. It’s important to perform these acts out of the kindness of your heart.

Demonstrating the acts of service can mean stepping out of the stereotypes. Acts of service require both mates to humble themselves into doing some chores and services that aren’t usually expected from their gender. However, these little sacrifices will mean the world to your mate, and will ensure a happy relationship.



Physical Touch:

Many mates feel the most loved when they receive physical contact from their partner. For a mate who speaks this love language loudly, physical touch can make or break the relationship.

Sexual intercourse makes many mates feel secure and loved in a marriage. However, it is only one dialect of physical touch. Many parts of the body are extremely sensitive to stimulation. It is important to discover how your partner not only physically responds but also psychologically responds to these touches.

It is important to learn how your mate speaks the physical touch language. Some touches are irritating and uncomfortable for your mate. Take the time to learn the touches your mate likes. They can be big acts, such as back massages or lovemaking, or little acts such as touches on the cheek or a hand on the shoulder. It’s important to learn how your mate responds to touch. That is how you will make the most of this love language.

All marriages will experience crisis. In these cases, physical touch is very important. In a crisis situation, a hug can communicate an immense amount of love for that person. A person whose primary love language is physical touch would much rather have you hold them and be silent than offer any advice.

It is important to remember that this love language is different for everyone. What type of touch makes you feel secure is not necessarily what will make your partner happy. It is important to learn each other’s dialects. That way you can make the most of your hugging, kissing, and other physical contacts.

I prefer MARGARITA'S!!!!!

THAT IS Soooooooooooooo FUNNY!!!!!

Give as well as receive.. laugh, hug,want to spend time with me..

Cute...Cute....Great job!!!!

That is sooooo cute!!!!

A wee guy was sitting at a bar staring at his drink for ages. Suddenly, a big biker came along, snatched his glass, guzzled down the contents and laughed, "Hah! So what you gonna do about that, little man?"

"Nothing," sighed the little guy despondently. "You see, today has been the worst day of my life. This morning I overslept and was late for an important meeting. My boss was furious and so he sacked me. I cleared my desk, went to my car, only to discover that it wasn't there - somebody had stolen it. So I got a taxi home, but when it came to paying the driver I realised I'd forgotten my wallet. I then went into my house and I found my wife in bed with the gardener. So I left home and came to this bar. And just when I was thinking about ending it all, you came along and drank my poison..."



I GUESS SOMETHING HAD TO GO RIGHT...

I didnt watch your ex!! I thought that was about mine!! Oh well...I was laughing because we really do have our different ways of gettin it done....

OIL CHANGE INSTRUCTIONS FOR WOMEN

1) Pull up to Jiffy Lube when the mileage reaches 3000 miles since the last oil change.

2) Drink a cup of coffee.

3) 15 minutes later write a check and leave with a properly maintained vehicle.

MONEY SPENT

Oil Change $20.00 Coffee $1.00

TOTAL $21.00



OIL CHANGE INSTRUCTIONS FOR MEN

1) Wait until Saturday, drive to auto parts store and buy a case of oil, filter, kitty litter, hand cleaner and a scented tree, write a check for $50 00

2) Stop by 7-11 and buy a case of beer, write a check for $20.00, drive home.

3) Open a beer and drink it.

4) Jack car up. Spend 30 minutes looking for jack stands.

5) Find jack stands under kid's pedal car.

6) In frustration, open another beer and drink it.

7) Place drain pan under engine.

8) Look for 9/16 box end wrench.

9) Give up and use crescent wrench.

10) Unscrew drain plug.

11) Drop drain plug in pan of hot oil: splash hot oil on you in process. Cuss.

12) Crawl out from under car to wipe hot oil off of face and arms. Throw kitty litter on spilled oil.

13) Have another beer while watching oil drain.

14) Spend 30 minutes looking for oil filter wrench.

15) Give up; crawl under car and hammer a screwdriver through oil filter and twist off.

16) Crawl out from under car with dripping oil filter splashing oil everywhere from holes. Cleverly hide old oil filter among trash in trash can to avoid environmental penalties. Drink a beer.

17) Buddy shows up; finish case of beer with him. Decide to finish oil change tomorrow so you can go see his new garage door opener.

18) Sunday: Skip church because "I gotta finish the oil change." Drag pan full of old oil out from underneath car. Cleverly dump oil in hole in back yard instead of taking it to be recycle!

19) Throw kitty litter on oil spilled during step 18.

20) Beer? No, drank it all yesterday.

21) Walk to 7-11; buy beer.

22) Install new oil filter making sure to apply a thin coat of oil to gasket surface.

23) Dump first quart of fresh oil into engine.

24) Remember drain plug from step 11.

25) Hurry to find drain plug in drain pan.

26) Remember that the used oil is buried in a hole in the back yard, along with drain plug.

27) Drink beer.

28) Shovel out hole and sift oily mud for drain plug. Re-shovel oily dirt into hole. Steal sand from kids sandbox to cleverly cover oily patch of ground and avoid environmental penalties. Wash drain plug in lawnmower gas.

29) Discover that first quart of fresh oil is now on the floor. Throw kitty litter on oil spill.

30) Drink beer.

31) Crawl under car getting kitty litter into eyes. Wipe eyes with oily rag used to clean drain plug. Slip with stupid crescent wrench tightening drain plug and bang knuckles on frame.

32) Bang head on floorboards in reaction to step 31.

33) Begin cussing fit.

34) Throw stupid crescent wrench.

35) Cuss for additional 10 minutes.

36) Beer.

37) Clean up hands and forehead and bandage as required to stop blood flow.

38) Beer.

39) Beer.

40) Dump in five fresh quarts of oil.

41) Beer.

42) Lower car from jack stands.

43) Accidentally crush remaining case of new motor oil.

44) Move car back to apply more kitty litter to fresh oil spilled during steps 23 - 43.

45) Beer.

46) Test drive car.

47) Get pulled over: arrested for driving under the influence.

48) Car gets impounded.

49) Call loving wife, make bail.

50) 12 hours later, get car from impound yard.

MONEY SPENT

Parts $50.00 DUI $2500.00 Impound fee $75.00 Bail $1500.00 Beer $40.00

TOTAL -- $4165.00

BUT YOU KNOW THE JOB WAS DONE RIGHT

THE QUESTION: Why did the chicken cross the road?


GEORGE W BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either against us or for us. There is no middle ground here.

COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.

HANS BLIX: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have
not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am
now against it!

PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

RALPH NADER: The chicken's habitat on the other side of the road had been polluted by unchecked industrial greed. The chicken did not reach the unspoiled habitat on the other side of the road because it was crushed by the wheels of a gas-guzzling SUV.

RUSH LIMBAUGH: I don't know why the chicken crossed the road, but I'll bet it was getting a government grant to cross the road, and I'll bet
that somebody out there is already forming a support group to help chickens with crossing-the-road syndrome. Can you believe this? How much more of this can real Americans take? Chickens crossing the road paid for by their tax dollars. And when I say tax dollars, I'm talking about your money, money the government took from you to build a road for chickens to cross.

MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.

DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain ... Alone.

MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR: I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.

GRANDPA: In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heartwarming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its life-long dream of crossing the road.

JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together - in peace.

ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

KARL MARX: It was an historic inevitability.

RONALD REAGAN: What chicken?

CAPTAIN KIRK: To boldly go where no chicken has ever gone before.

SIGMUND FREUD: The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

BILL GATES: I have just witnessed eChicken2003, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook ... and Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken.

BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of chicken?

ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?

AL GORE: I invented the chicken!

COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?

What?? too gross??

Little Johnny, on a day when he was being particularly reckless, was playing in the backyard one morning. Soon, some honeybees started swirling around, annoying little Johnny. He began stomping on them in his temper. His father caught him trampling the honeybees, and after a brief moment of thought said, "That's it! No honey for you for one month!"

Later that afternoon, Johnny pondered upon some butterflies, and soon started catching them and crushing them under his feet. His father again caught him, and after a brief moment of thought, said, "No butter for you for one month!"

Early that evening, Johnny's mother was cooking dinner, and got jumpy when cockroaches started scurrying around the kitchen floor. She began stomping on them one by one until all the cockroaches were dead. Johnny's mother looked up to find Johnny and his father standing there watching her. To which Johnny said, "Are you going to tell her, daddy, or should I?"

How do you tell that you have a high sperm count?
Your girlfriend has to chew before she swallows.

Why are electric trains like women's breasts?
They were designed for kids, but the father usually winds up playing with them.

What did the banana say to the vibrator?
"I don't know why you're shaking, she's gonna eat me!"

How come Mike Tyson's eyes water during sex?
Mace.

What happens if you put the Energizer Bunny's batteries in backwards?
He keeps coming, and coming, and coming..........

How did the Dairy Queen become pregnant?
Cause the Burger King forgot to cover his Whopper.

Why did man invent alcohol?
So ugly women could have sex too.

What do soy beans and vibrators have in common?
They are both meat substitutes.

What is the difference between erotic sex and freaky sex?
During erotic sex you use a feather, during freaky sex you use the whole damn chicken.

What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree?
Hold on to your nuts, this is going to be one hell of a *******!"

What is the difference between a frog and a horny toad?
The frog says "ribbit, ribbit", and the horny toad says "rub-it, rub-it".

What do a pizza delivery guy and a gynecologist have in common?
They can both smell it, but they can't eat it.

Sheer Nightgown

A husband walks into Victoria 's Secret to purchase a sheer negligee for his wife.

He is shown several possibilities that range from $250 to $500 in price -- the sheerer, the higher the price Naturally, he opts for the sheerest item, pays the $500, and takes it home.

He presents it to his wife and asks her to go upstairs, put it on, and model it for him... Upstairs the wife thinks (she's no dummy), "I have an idea. It's so sheer that it might as well be nothing. I won't put it on, but I'll do the modeling naked, return it tomorrow, and keep the $500 refund for myself."

She appears naked on the balcony and strikes a pose.

The husband says, 'Good Grief! You'd think for $500, they'd at least iron it!'

He never heard the shot... Funeral on Thursday at Noon.

Closed coffin.

>
> A HUSBAND IS AT HOME WATCHING A
> FOOTBALL GAME WHEN HIS WIFE INTERRUPTS,
>
> HONEY,
> COULD YOU FIX THE LIGHT IN THE HALLWAY?
> IT'S BEEN FLICKERING FOR WEEKS NOW.
>
> HE LOOKS AT HER AND SAYS ANGRILY,
> FIX THE LIGHTS NOW?
> DOES IT LOOK LIKE I HAVE
> ENERGY AUSTRALIA WRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD?
> I DON'T THINK SO.
>
> FINE,
>
> THEN THE WIFE ASKS,
> WELL THEN, COULD YOU FIX THE FRIDGE DOOR?
> IT WON'T CLOSE RIGHT
>
> TO WHICH HE REPLIED,
> FIX THE FRIDGE DOOR?
> DOES IT LOOK LIKE I HAVE WESTINGHOUSE
> WRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD?
> I DON'T THINK SO
>
> FINE, SHE SAYS
> THEN YOU COULD AT LEAST FIX THE STEPS
> TO THE FRONT DOOR?
> THEY ARE ABOUT TO ! BREAK
>
> I'M NOT A CARPENTER AND I DON'T
> WANT TO FIX STEPS
> HE SAYS, DOES IT LOOK LIKE I HAVE
> BUNNINGS WRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD?
> I DON'T THINK SO
> I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF YOU.
> I'M GOING TO THE PUB!!!!
>
> SO HE GOES TO THE PUB AND DRINKS FOR A
> COUPLE OF HOURS...............
>
> HE STARTS TO FEEL GUILTY ABOUT HOW
> HE TREATED HIS WIFE, AND DECIDES
> TO GO HOME
>
> AS HE WALKS INTO THE HOUSE HE NOTICES
> THAT THE STEPS ARE ALREADY FIXED.
>
> AS HE ENTERS THE HOUSE , HE SEES THE
> HALL LIGHT IS WORKING
>
> AS HE GOES TO GET A BEER, HE NOTICES
> THE FRIDGE DOOR IS FIXED.
>
> HONEY, HE ASKS, HOW'D ALL THIS GET FIXED?
> SHE SAID, WELL, WHEN YOU LEFT I SAT
> OUTSIDE AND CRIED.
>
> JUST THEN A NICE YOUNG MAN ASKED ME
> WHAT WAS WRONG, AND I TOLD HIM.
>
> HE OFFERED TO DO ALL THE REPAIRS, AND
> ALL I HAD TO DO WAS EITHER
> GO TO BED WITH HIM OR BAKE A CAKE.
>
> HE SAID,
> SO WHAT KIND OF CAKE DID YOU ! BAKE?
>
> SHE REPLIED,
> HELLOOOOO..
> DO YOU SEE SARA LEE WRITTEN
> ON MY FOREHEAD?
> I DON'T THINK SO!

Maybe I'm the ONLY one...But Love..ENHANCES lust.
love makes me verbal, lusty, sweet, giving, screaming,LOVE makes it better,sweeter