Community > Posts By > ready4bliss

 
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Thu 04/02/09 02:17 PM
well i just gotta give a big thanks to you all for replying as the advice you all have given has been very helpful. participating in the forums on here is very helpful and fun i see so i'll be sure to particpate in more. again thanks again and you all take care :)

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Thu 04/02/09 02:12 PM
Edited by ready4bliss on Thu 04/02/09 02:13 PM
i've been doing a pretty good job as it is meeting people off here, i'm just trying to really broden myself more in the forums. i'm kind of old fashion and beleive that its not all about showing face but more of personality and conversation online and take it from there. sides those that have been fortuante to talk to me does get to see my face pic away from this website. thanks for the tips though : )

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Thu 04/02/09 09:18 AM


If you introduce your kids to too many people, well, they shouldn't meet people that aren't going to stay in their lives or be good for them. No way you can determine that on the first date, and it's just reckless. If it doesn't work out, then you do it again? What message does that send to children? My parent's a flake? Or worse...


My thoughts exactly! And, no matter how hard you try to get to know someone before the first date, there's always the risk that you haven't really gotten to know them at all. After all, serial killers can come across as really great people too, lol. (An extreme example, but still....better safe than sorry :) )




that is so true!!

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Thu 04/02/09 09:16 AM
Edited by ready4bliss on Thu 04/02/09 09:28 AM
queene123, i guess it kind of depends on the situation, the people involved but not everyone rolls that way. diffrent strokes for diffrent folks as they say. and i guess its safe to say a large part that problem is that the date should be about you and the person you are dating. the dating is suppose to be about getting to know some one to the point that you feel comfortable maybe showing them where you live,your neighborhood,etc. now its one thing if maybe the date picks you up at home and theres a quick introduction to other family meembers but to be on your date with those family members/ kid....some people just don't like that.

speaking of which also on the first date she showed me where she lived,what street address its on, her mom's car, her window,what stores she goes, where she drops her son off for him to get on the school bus too and i'm kind of thinking to myself should i really being seeing all this on a first date? i thought when going out on a date its suppose to be in a neutral area and kinda not near where one lives, i could be wrong and if so its okay lol

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Thu 04/02/09 09:07 AM
ahh okay, i'm already doing the forum thing. not really sure about posting my face pics on here just yet. but the forums i am doing and its pretty fun so far

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Thu 04/02/09 08:57 AM

You need to find a person you can date regularly, at least twice a month, and talk perhaps twice a week on the phone. Do not invest in statements about feelings until at LEAST 60 days into the situation.

If you invest more than you are prepared to lose based on a romanticized fantasy version of what you think is going on.... you will end up getting hurt.

Boundaries. Boundaries. Boundaries.



Ps, don't meet anyone's kids on a second date. EVER EVER EVER


thank you! you are so right. i mean i wasn't trying to sound mean about it you know? like i said i'm a uncle and hey i'ma big kid at heart myself as i have a lil hobby drawing,painting, collecting and building figures, hiring commision sculpters to build movie or comic book chracters for me but a kid on the first or 2nd date? that shouldn't even be brought up or happen for months! i'm glad i'm not the only one that thought that was weird lol

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Thu 04/02/09 08:52 AM

I'm going to preface this with "this is just my opinion, and should be taken with a grain of salt". No insult or assumption intended.

Reading your post, it sounds like you were moving pretty fast. I mean, I understand being excited about the potential, but talking about becoming a couple after one date would definitely send me running for the hills, no matter how great the date was. *shrug*

My advice would be to slow down, take your time to get to know them before jumping right to discussions about long term, and make sure what you're feeling is real, not just what you're feeling at the moment.


no i wasn't moving fast at all and i wasn't the one that brought up being a couple, she did. i am the type of person who is really laid back, i just go with the flow of things. i react off of how other people act and keep my feelings/thoughts to myself until it needs to be said. you do bring up a good point however which is as soon as that was brought up it should have been a red flag. yeah i think i will go much,much slower next time, without a doubt

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Thu 04/02/09 08:48 AM

What is your question?


hey, i don't beleive i said i had a question, i beleive i said i needed advice. i know i stressed this towaards the end. i know its kinda wordy and i may edit it later. i'm new on here but hope to get the swing of things

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Thu 04/02/09 08:45 AM
i've been down here in the centreville,va area for a few months now and regularly travel to the d.c, md areas. 28 year old black male on here seeking swf to hook up with and maybe shoot some pool,bowl, go get some coffee or what have you and maybe do some sightseeing so if intrested reply here or check out my profile and send a private message, thanks!

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Thu 04/02/09 08:38 AM
Edited by ready4bliss on Thu 04/02/09 09:03 AM
okay i wasn't sure where to put this question so i'll just put it on here. idk but the past 2 women i have tried to hook up with off this website it just seemed like didn't go so well. the first woman i came across, we hit if off well as we shared a lot of the same intrest,goals,etc. we talked on the phone everyday as well as text,email and talk on the computer but when it came time to hook up with her she would pull a no call and no show and then would hardly remember that we had a date when i asked her what had happen to her the next day. after about 2 months of this i decided to move on. this woman was in her early 20's by the way.

after that experience i decided maybe what i needed was a woman who was perhaps older than i was,seemed more passionate about what it was she wanted and wasn't about head games or what have you so i ended up talking to a woman in her late 30's. we kicked it off good talking on the phone,email,text,etc. i expressed to her how i was really feeling her as a person, as a individual and just how i was really trying to get to know her. she was feeling the same way about me. we hooked up on our first date after about a month and a half of talking and it went very well. the subject was brought up of hooking up again and she told me that her son would be with her cause she didn't wanna leave him home alone easter weekend. my being a uncle to a baby boy i was like hey its all good, no problem even though deep down i felt that it was a little too soon to be seeing her kid. yesterday she sends me a message via text saying she can't wait to see me next week, how she misses me but by 5pm the same day she dumps me! i'm like, whoa what the heck happen? i asked her did i do something wrong and she tells me we just aren't compatable and i show her heartfelt messages she sent me, most of which she talked about how compatable we were, how she likes me alot and she really had no defense for it. she even had the nerve to say me and her were not committed to one another and that we were only dating however thats not what she told me when she asked me about how she felt about us possibly being a couple just days after our first date as she told me she would love for us to be girlfriend and boyfriend and i said to her i guess i'm off limits then and she said yes. oh and keep in mind this woman asked me the weirdest question now that i'm thinking about it, she asked me if i ever wanna get married. not sure if that was a red flag at the time but now i think it is looking back.

i'm glad that we didn't have sex though some of the things we did on our date we might as well should have but i feel as though i was used,very confused. i'm not really the type that likes to sit up and date multiple women as i just focus on one woman only as well as not make out on a first date unless there is some serious chemistry and we both feel the same way for one another to go that route. it seems there's some new trend going on that i'm not aware of. i'm not really sure how to handle myself in future dates to avoid being hurt like this so any advice,dating tips would be appreciated. i've never had this problem before but then again its been a while now since i've dated and apprarently times have changed. thanks for replying in advance