I'm not so eloquent.... here's mine....

This is a textbook example of what is wrong with this country. Spouting ignorance via the internet is exactly the type of behavior expected of a person who would be a prime candidate for the Jerry Springer Show.

As a veteran, I'm ashamed to call you a brother because it's tough for me to believe that someone could be so ignorant. My guess is that you’ll fail in any endeavor you partake.

On the other hand, you are entertaining in a way. I'm hoping that you and Stephen Colbert can get together along with that "Joe The Plumber" guy and give America a good laugh. Wait. Joe wasn't really a plumber was he?

Oops, I meant, "the whole world" a good laugh. Remember, half of the planet (or more) doesn't think too highly of Americans in general because of "true thinking geniuses" like you and our former president. However, they do love to laugh along with the rest of us.

You obviously are a true patriot, but misled. A definite follower not a leader.

I hope you're in the military or VA health care system, because if anything truly catastrophic ever happened to you or anyone in your family without it, it's unlikely that even the best private insurance coverage would allow you to keep your home or life as you know it when they get through with you. (Unless your family is rich, then that would explain your ignorance on top of arrogance.) That's if you (or they) even live through it. You call that a luxury? Hmmm.

Maybe you should contact your buddy Michael Moore and talk to him about it sometime. While you're at it, check out his documentary "Sicko". It's on Cable TV this month. It won't be aired on PBS for quite sometime, but then I'm sure you don't watch PBS anyhow since it's sort of a "social" service.

And one more thing, since you want to throw the "social progressives" label around and spread more good sense like what a bad idea free health care would be, maybe you think it would be a good idea to privatize the police, fire and roads departments too. While you're at it, how about everyone paying for the education of their children too.
Who cares if the working class poor in this country can’t send their kids to school, they can all work at Burger King or Wal-Mart. (Healthy cheap food and American goods.) God knows, (I mean the one true Judeo-Christian one) that when it comes down to it, public education, infrastructure services, police, fire and other "social services" are really socialism in thin disguise. My God! How about a privatized U.S. Army! Well, then you couldn't really call it the U.S. Army then, could you? No, that would be a socialist wish of course.

But wait. I'm not so sure the privatized system would work for you. How would you be able to pay for your SUV, gas guzzling pickup or over-sized luxury car when you're busy working you're a$$ off to pay for your military, police and fire protection, luxury health care, kids education etc.... when all your greedy CEO's are running them at prices that you can barely afford just because they can? You know, kind of like the hospitals do now. I'm wondering if your fondness of those greedy CEO's is really shared by a large percent of your like-minded patriots. I'm not so convinced.

I don't know man. Maybe you need to sit at home with your redneck buddies, fellow law students or whoever the heck is ignorant enough to hang out with you and brainstorm this for awhile. Just turn Jerry Springer down a little so it won't distract you so much, I'm sure you’ll come up with a good answer.

Anyhow, I really do wish you the best. Keep on thinking free.

I think I'd keep my guns, the Rolling Stones, Led Zeppelin and my bible. Oh, and my motorcycle. I agree with you on Barbara Streisand, even if she can sing like a diva.

I'm still trying to figure out what anyone has against Shirley MacLaine (Someone spelled her name wrong). Sure she's some crazy witch of an old lady, but she was really hot way back in the day. Maybe I'm just partial to redheads, I don't know. But she's old now and I'm thinking even a tyrant, terrorist, atheist, republican, democrat, agnostic or gun toting redneck might cut her some slack just because she's on her way out in a few more months. That's just me though.

They can keep the bubblehead hockey mom politician from Alaska. Whoever thinks she's hot needs some special glasses. Maybe then, they'll be able to see Russia from their back door too. Does she have talent? Not so much. She’s a joke, and not a very good one.

Your friend, brother and fellow patriot.

My friend said this, I couldn’t have said it better…

We have been together long before the 1950’s – you do remember Independence Day (or did you want to us to keep that holiday?). Let me remind you that the founders of our country were diverse and sought balance – they recognized the value of the collective whole. It was the 1950’s when we realized that we were not applying this to every deserving human regardless of race. WE fixed that with our progressive ways (some would say it was the social progressives) and an entire country’s willingness to turn itself inside out to get it right.
While I appreciate your conservative values and applaud your sense of humor – let’s not forget which party brought us to our current state of economic recession. It wasn’t trickle up poverty applied by the last Democratic president. Tell you what – you keep Bush – we’ll keep Obama and the Clintons. They may be liberal but they are fiscally responsible.
Since when did the “right” have such a strong hold on Judeo-Christian Values? Are you insinuating the God would be happy with your earth-destroying ways? That your ability to make war over weapons-of-your-imagination would be found impressive by the Almighty?“Blessed are the peace keepers”– this means those that defend as well as those that seek to avoid war.
If your heart is set on the big “D”– here are a few other things to consider:

1. We will want to keep the Statue of Liberty – she should have no value to you since she invites the “tired” and the “poor” and the “homeless” that you find so easy to toss away (I’ve searched the bible for this instruction so that I can align it with your Judeo-Christian Values but am coming up short)
2. We will not give up all of our firearms, cops or military. Instead we will split them with you ~ we’ll keep the police officers and military personnel who align themselves with our ideals. People who believe that you are innocent until proven guilty. People who respect the inalienable rights of all persons and who understand that their actions reflect on us all. We will keep firearms from endangering our innocents – so we might not need as many as you do. However, eventually, your population will dwindle (this is commonly referred to as the process of natural selection). You may find that you will eventually have over stock. Please be aware that we will not be purchasing them back from you.
3. We’re okay with you keeping the greedy CEO’s – we’ll keep the ethical ones who understand accounting.
4. We will work towards a national healthcare plan – because while certain levels of healthcare are luxuries – children being treated for strep infection is a necessity – not a luxury.
5. We want the broken Social Security system and Medicaid and Medicare. Give them to us and I am sure we can financially shore them up. In return, we will give you Rush Limbaugh and his drug addiction.
6. We will also take you up on your offer to keep the U.N.~ if you refuse to pay support for this effort ~ you accept the consequence of not being represented. This seems short-sighted to us, but you go!
7. We will keep all of the hard-working, tax paying liberals, leftists, social progressives, socialists, Marxists, Obama supporters, Oprah and anyone else who only want to ensure that EVERYONE succeeds instead of a privileged few. We anticipate that you may want to reconcile after you realize that once you decrease the size of your nation, many of you will suddenly find yourselves at the bottom of the proverbial hill. You will no longer have anybody to capitalize on – other’s will capitalize on you.
With my “we are the world” mentality – I would like to think we could work this out with counseling. However, I can tell that you have very strong (albeit misguided) beliefs based on fabricated half-truths.
We will not go gently into the good night however – we will not sign away our rights to our Flag or National Anthem. Our ancestors bled too pal. Instead, we want to keep them and in the spirit of Godliness, withhold judgment on those that do not share the same beliefs or values.
I wish you peace – love – and happiness.


~ Not Stephen Colbet
Bellevue, NE