all i can say..is one day at a time..one day at a time.

i have also found that it is very hard to watch any other man play with my child. it almost makes me sick. i just want scream "your not his dad! go away!"

lol.

im sorry..why aren't you taken? lol

I finally see. It's gonna be hard for me to walk away. But i will. it will take a lot of power that im gonna have to summon up inside me somewhere. but ill find it.

damn..i thought i had it bad.

and whats even worse..is that he moved in with my neighbor ( i live in a duplex ) but my neighbor is someone i went to school with. anyways, he brought his ex over there the night he moved out of my place. and i didn't know that. and i heard him ****ing her through the wall...

i've never heard it be put like that..
but its true. so true.

thank you..
really..
thank you.

I think that when you really care for someone, you find it hard not to stay faithful.

We met summer of 07. Not long ago. And on our 3rd month anniversary..he was taken away by Child Protective Services. And i was there. But I stood by him..my dad pulled me to canada..and to new mexico..and then my dad went to jail, i found out that im 6 months pregnant, and im stranded in the desert. Of course, at this time, we were no longer together..and barely staying close over the phone. He had broken up with me because we had only gotten to see each other once..and he felt like he was holding me back. I never moved on..and was still desperately in love with him. Well in june I gave birth to our beautiful son. In october of this year, he was released from cps as he turned 18. He came to live with me..and..cheated on me with his ex from where he had been living. and so so many other things and it made me crazy bc i had stood by for over a year and a half..and we had a son. and i developed rage towards him and he blamed me. every time we fought, he would call his ex. and he would steadily pick her over me. and yet..he would be in my bed the next night. i still love him with all my heart..and yes..he has chosen her again. but we have a child..im forever. i will always be here. she..isnt forever. what do i do? i feel so hurt. i feel like i need to move on. and i miss that "new love" feeling. but at the same time..i want a family. my family. does that make sense?