Wow, I think that was kind of rude.

Abuse can drive people to a mental collapse - I see this all the time in
my work. One particularly evil way to do it is to "gaslight", which is
to deny anything you say and do (for example, making a very clear
implication and then when the other person responds in a normal way, the
gaslighter says, "I didn't say that? When did I say that? What exactly
did I say? Tell me!"). Mind you, this is just one mind game and usually
abuse that will lead to mental health issues is sneaky and over a long
time - perhaps the other person isn't aware it is abuse and keeps trying
to "fix" the situation ("what did I do? how can I fix this?"). Very
severe depression can have psychotic features such as hearing voices,
and it doesn't mean the person is "psychotic", it just means they need
help (therapy and meds). No shame in that. The real shame comes in
when the person doesn't go for help and continues to hurt, or turns
around and hurts others because they are in pain. Abusive relationships
are hard for some people to get out of and therapy can be of great help.

Thanks to all who replied, I certainly feel welcome!

Wow, Dan, that sounds pretty horrible! Maybe the reason I haven't had
that experience is because I am a therapist and that seems to put
lunatics off lol. Or the minute they want free therapy I refer them to
a psychiatrist! Seriously, sorry to hear you had that problem...must
have been quite awful for you.

Yes, that is a good question, Sluggo. I can usually tell when the
person uses way too much flattery when they first meet me or talk to me
online - so fake, that. Or if they seem to adapt their responses to
what they think you want to hear. When I feel discomfort, I am
straight-up and tell him, "look, man, this just isn't going to work."
And I try to be nice about it. I have learnt how to set boundaries with
people and for me, that was the key. Because life is too short to date
someone just because you don't want to hurt their feelings or can't
think of a "reason" not to...if you don't want to date them, that should
be reason enough. Just be kind about it.

I am new to this site, just joined today. Really like the fact that it
has messageboards! I am a friendly sort who is looking forward to
chatting with a lot of people, about all sorts of things. So, nice to
meet everyone!

Had my heart broken many a time, but since I believe in instant karma, I
figure whoever hurts me will get it back from another source. Plus,
usually the one who hurt me contacts me at some point and expresses
regret and tells me about his payback. Weird how that works. By the
time that happens, I am over him anyway. Since I usually learn
something from the experience, it helps with the next relationship
anyway - but you're right, it really hurts at the time.

Most people, I think, are basically trustworthy - it's the people with
major mental health/addiction issues you have to watch for, as well as
people who have a ****load of baggage (hint: if they talk about their
parents/ex-lovers etc. a LOT, then run). Look at all the people who
wrote here, saying they want to trust and others can trust them - we are
in the majority I think. If you're not sure about someone, run them by
your friends or kids...usually someone will give you some decent
feedback. If you get a gut feeling that someone is "too good to be
true", or you feel uncomfortable in any way, trust that. And keep
looking!