Topic:
Why do you judge by looks?
|
|
Im not saying that all women on this site do it, but I can say that from my experience I have seen it to many times, a woman says she is looking for "the nice caring sensitive guy" and then when you give them that they either realise they don't want that or are just scared off by your hideous looks, why? same goes for guys really to be fair, if you want a girl who would treat you right and not cheat on you... why do you go for looks first, if a girl is "ugly" or "fat" you just blow her off... How is anything dating wise supose to work in a screwed up world like that... It is just my opinion but I think maybe you are making sweeping generalizations that are not neccesarily true. At your age your experiences are still quite limited. While you may have awaken to a slightly more realistic view of people you have a ways to go. Attraction is really more about how a person is percieved. I take just about any magazine of the so called "beautiful" people and most of them have some "issue" that in the strictest sense or definition they aren't. I believe a lot of it is the vibe you give off. Is it closed, tense, distant, defensive? Or open, relaxed, engageing, and huggable. I read your text and I get a completely different vibe of who you are than what your picture projects. I don't know for sure how a younger woman would relate to your picture but to me it doesn't do anything for you. It's like you don't even want to introduce yourself to the camera much less a woman. No smile, hostile folded arms, kind of grungy looking clothes in a dark depressing background. Your hair and facial hair seem like an after thought. If that is typical I would give you the benifit of the doubt that it is just trying to be yourself and not draw attention to yourself but that doesn't work real well in trying to be noticed for a date. Even great looking guys have to spiff it up a little and be engageing or they come off as snobs. Girls generally want a guy with a career not a couple of low paying part-time jobs. It isn't selfish not to want to live hand to mouth and see your children do without while you and your mate struggle to keep from going under. If you don't mention you are working for beter as a young man you look like a slacker. There was a lot of talk about preference but some guys just don't get it is some times about looks. Some gals want blonde some want brunette and others want a red head. Maybe they like long hair others short. There are a hundred reason someone will accept or pass on your looks and it isn't right or wrong. |
|
|
|
Topic:
Why do you judge by looks?
|
|
I just don't see why honesty can't come into the picture right away, or at least telling the person, if you aren't interested in them and you read the things they had to say let them know, I guess thats the real thing im saying here... for instance when a user messages me I take the time to read what they had to say, if they said something around the lines of I think you are cute and fun, I would at least reply with a thank you and talk with them, who says that everything on this site has to be about dating, really I just dont understand why people can't connect with someone rather than just look at their profile and say oh... ugly click *Delete* a big difference i've noticed between men and women with regards to internet dating, and maybe just dating in general is that the man (most times) is expecting instant and immediate attraction whereas the woman (in many instances) finds that attraction is something that is built up over many dates and/or emails. when the man doesn't get the instant reaction that he wants, he stops calling the woman. if he'd persisted, he may have found that her level of interest increased as they got to know each other. |
|
|
|
Topic:
Why do you judge by looks?
|
|
Whew... dont touch... this post is on fire! I'm glad it is! I didn't expect it to pick up this fast, must have poored some gasoline before I lit the match |
|
|
|
Topic:
Why do you judge by looks?
|
|
Im saying i'm here for connections, physical/mental/emotional... maybe i got the wrong idea of the site, perhaps it is strictly dating and Im somewhere I don't belong
|
|
|
|
Topic:
Why do you judge by looks?
|
|
and im not trying to come across as complaining, I've been single near 5 years (Feb 14th, Yes V-day) I just wonder what I said earlier, If I find someone on this site who wants to date me... great if not Im glad Im connecting with people and thats the honest truth
|
|
|
|
Topic:
Why do you judge by looks?
|
|
I just don't see why honesty can't come into the picture right away, or at least telling the person, if you aren't interested in them and you read the things they had to say let them know, I guess thats the real thing im saying here... for instance when a user messages me I take the time to read what they had to say, if they said something around the lines of I think you are cute and fun, I would at least reply with a thank you and talk with them, who says that everything on this site has to be about dating, really I just dont understand why people can't connect with someone rather than just look at their profile and say oh... ugly click *Delete*
|
|
|
|
Topic:
Why do you judge by looks?
|
|
So the point I guess im trying to get across and confirm in my head is that people will always pre judge you because of basic instinct and no matter what they think when they say "I just want a nice guy/girl" Really what they are saying is I want someone who is attractive, then I'll care about the other stuff, again just my opinion
|
|
|
|
Topic:
Why do you judge by looks?
|
|
Im not saying that all women on this site do it, but I can say that from my experience I have seen it to many times, a woman says she is looking for "the nice caring sensitive guy" and then when you give them that they either realise they don't want that or are just scared off by your hideous looks, why? same goes for guys really to be fair, if you want a girl who would treat you right and not cheat on you... why do you go for looks first, if a girl is "ugly" or "fat" you just blow her off... How is anything dating wise supose to work in a screwed up world like that...
|
|
|