It depends on the relationship, and what you want to do. Personally, I'll probably change mine (unless his is something awful--then if he wanted to change his to mine, that'd be ok!). But if you want to keep your individuality, I don't see a problem with that either.

One of my favorite books has a passage where Aaron Carpenter and Shelley Carpenter (no relation) argue about whether he should take her name or she should take his. She suggested they hyphenate and be Carpenter-Carpenters! LOL!!

I'm happy to oblige!

I think you should tell more about yourself before you lay out what you're looking for. It's not that it's bad that you know what you're looking for, but I felt like I was being slammed with demands from someone I hadn't even met. Picture this--it's move-in day, and your new neighbor offers to carry a box in for you. I feel like you're setting one on top of the other in his arms weighing him down. I guess what I'm saying is you're asking more of him than he's willing to give at that point. His instinct may be to raise his hands in surrender and back away slowly.

I take it the divorce didn't go so well...? You sound really bitter about it. (Making a living, "such as it is"; not having time to work with your church; and wanting to get your kids "back...where they belong") It's rule #1 for the first "date"--don't bring the "ex"es into it. Your "special man" doesn't want his time with you to be spent stewing over the guy that came before him.

I can definitely understand feeling sorry for yourself sometimes after a divorce that apparently didn't go so well, but you need make sure you're not presenting yourself as someone in need of a pity party. I would completely omit "I don't cook much anymore, because it is not worth cooking for one" and "I have found that I really hate being alone, and would even prefer staying at work, rather that go home to be by myself." While I can empathize with both of those statements, it feels like a lot of weight that your special man would have to lift off your shoulders in order to make you happy, and since he doesn't yet know how special you are, he might decide that it's not worth the effort.

Overall, with the bitterness and sadness, your profile presents as though you are not ready to end the chapter with your ex and start over. "One of these days I will finally get my feet back under me" makes it sound like you're not ready to begin a new relationship. It sounds like you've been hurt extremely, and haven't really begun to heal. My advice would be to find a more positive light to shine on yourself and your situation. You need to show your special man how special you truly are, and make him want to be worthy of you.

I hope something I've said helps!!!

As they say, "those who can, do. those who can't..."

~Teach

LOL I'm going to play teacher and "grade" your profile a little. I hope you don't mind--I'm just trying to help!

Even though you say you're "happy and comfortable" with yourself, your profile makes me think you may be a little insecure. Women like CONFIDENCE!!! (Not in an arrogant a**hole kinda way, but in a "can-look-in-the-mirror-without-cringing" kinda way, if that makes any sense.) Your first paragraph--while somewhat funny--combined with the sentence about your body being a "work in progress" makes it feel like you look at things a little negatively. And since you mention your body flaws twice, it sounds like you're not happy with your body. A woman will take you at your word at this stage--if you're not happy with your body, she will assume she won't be happy either.

I would also edit your fishing paragraph slightly--it sounds like you're looking for approval, like a child. (" can bait my own hook an everything!")

Well that's my take on it. I hope I helped! But then again, I'm here looking, too, aren't I?