A blonde had just gotten a new sports car and was out for a drive when
she accidentally cut off a large truck. The driver was outraged and was
eventually able to make her pull over. He got out of his truck and
pulled a piece of chalk from his pocket. He drew a circle on the side of
the road and gruffly commanded to the blonde in his most threatening
voice, "Stand in that circle and DON'T MOVE!"

He then went to her car and cut up her leather seats.

When he turned around she had a slight grin on her face, so he said, "Oh
you think that's funny? Watch this!"

He gets a baseball bat out of his truck and breaks every window in her
car.

When he turns and looks at her she has a smile on her face.

Now he's getting really mad. He gets his knife back out and slices all
her tires.

Now she's laughing.

The truck driver is really starting to lose it. He goes back to his
truck and gets an extra can of diesel fuel, pours it on her car and sets
it on fire.

He turns around and she is laughing so hard she is about to fall down.

"What's so funny?" the truck driver asked the blonde.

She replied, "Every time you weren't looking, I stepped outside the
circle!"

This has to be one of the best singles ads ever printed. It is reported
to have been listed in The Atlanta Journal.

SINGLE BLACK FEMALE seeks male companionship, ethnicity unimportant. I'm
a very good looking girl who LOVES to play. I love long walks in the
woods, riding in your pickup truck, hunting, camping and fishing
trips,cozy winter nights lying by the fire. Candlelight dinners will
have me eating out of your hand. I'll be at the front door when you get
home from work, wearing only what nature gave me. Call (404) 875-6420
and ask for Daisy, I'll be waiting...

Over 15,000 men found themselves talking to the Atlanta Humane Society
about an 8-week-old black Labrador retriever. (Men are so easy).

Jack and Jill,
Went up the hill,
To fetch a pail of water.
Who knows what they did,
And now they have a daughter.

imagine what daddy was feeling when he was reading the letter

june 22? i have an outing to great adventure with my friends on that day

congrats tom

ok i gotta go to bed now

gwen

gwen

i know

she has the same time as me, 12 hours behind you gwen

1984

rottweiler = breed

C20 = air

Upon entering his daughter's room, Mr. Lacy found a note on the bed and
proceeded to read it. It stated the following:

Dear Dad,

I am sorry to have run away, but there is something I must tell you, and
I couldn't bare to do it in person. I've decided to run away with Billy
(my boyfriend I've been hiding from you and Mom), and we're going to get
married. He promises to support me with the food stamps and goverment
money he's been stashing away, but assures me there are always other
ways to get money in a pinch.

He also plans to help me with my alcohol problem, which I've done a
pretty good job of hiding over the past year. We plan on raising our
still unborn child in the best little beach shack we can find in Mexico
- I'm sure it won't be much, but I know we'll be happy together so
that's all that matters. I plan on getting there with the fake passport
Billy was so kind to make for me. We just hope that he won't get put
back into Rehab again for his drug abuse problems.

I really wish you could meet him Daddy. He's so sweet! On my next
birthday he's gonna take me down to this bar and get me a tattoo to
match his! And for his birthday I hope I'll be able to afford to get him
some dental work, so that maybe he can have all of his teeth when he
smiles even though I think the gap is kind of cute. Well, wish us luck!

Love you,

Your little girl

P.S. I actually just got an F on my report card, but it could be a lot
worse, right? I'm over at my friend Ashley's house. Come get me when you
calm down.

An old but still ruggedly handsome Sergeant Major found himself at a
gala event hosted by a local liberal arts college. There was no shortage
of extremely young, idealistic ladies in attendance, one of whom
approached the Sergeant Major for conversation. "Excuse me, Sergeant
Major, but you seem to be a very serious man. Is something bothering
you?"

"Negative, ma'am. Just serious by nature."

The young lady looked at his awards and decorations and said, "It looks
like you have seen a lot of action."

"Yes, ma'am, a lot of action."

The young lady, tiring of trying to start up a conversation, said, "You
know, you should lighten up a little. Relax and enjoy yourself."

The Sergeant Major just stared at her in his serious manner. Finally,
the young lady said, "You know, I hope you don't take this the wrong
way, but when is the last time you had sex?"

"1955, ma'am."

"Well, there you are. You really need to chill out and quit taking
everything so seriously!? I mean, no sex since 1955!?"

Feeling charitable and a little bit drunk, she took his hand and led him
to a private room where she proceeded to "relax" him several times.
Afterwards, panting for breath, she leaned against his bare chest and
said, "Wow, you sure didn't forget much since 1955!"

The Sergeant Major, glancing at his watch, said in his matter-of-fact
voice, "I hope not, it's only 2130 now."

(You've got to love military time!)

Everyone knows that if you are going to operate a business in today’s
world you need a domain name. It is advisable to look at the domain name
selected as other see it and not just as you think it looks. Failure to
do this may result in situations such as the following (legitimate)
companies who deal in everyday humdrum products and services but clearly
didn’t give their domain names enough consideration:

1. A site called ‘Who Represents‘ where you can find the name of the
agent that represents a celebrity. Their domain name… wait for it… is
www.whorepresents.com

2. Experts Exchange, a knowledge base where programmers can exchange
advice and views at www.expertsexchange.com

3. Looking for a pen? Look no further than Pen Island at
www.penisland.net

4. Need a therapist? Try Therapist Finder at www.therapistfinder.com

5. Then of course, there’s the Italian Power Generator company…
www.powergenitalia.com

6. And now, we have the Mole Station Native Nursery, based in New South
Wales: www.molestationnursery.com

7. If you’re looking for computer software, there’s always
www.ipanywhere.com

8. Welcome to the First Cumming Methodist Church. Their website is
www.cummingfirst.com

9. Then, of course, there’s these brainless art designers, and their
whacky website: www.speedofart.com

10. Want to holiday in Lake Tahoe? Try their brochure website at
www.gotahoe.com

<<pic on my 2nd bday