Peruvian Skies - Dream Theater

Shat Out of Hell - Cradle of Filth

Forgiven by Within Temptation

So Long, Good-Bye by 10 Years

I'm not a parent, I probably shouldn't be in here, but I like looking around and seeing what other parents have to say about a lot of issues, and this one stuck out to me.

I definitely agree though, way to go to all you stand-up dads out there. As someone here said, anyone can be a father, but it takes a special person to be a dad. Take it from the perspective of a 19 year old male, I admire all you dads out there who love and respect your children, who take personal time to talk with them, get to know them and become a friend as well as a father to them.

Take it from someone who never knew what that kind of person was like. I grew up around a father who cared more about watching television and playing on the internet than actually listening to my stories. A father who never asked me about school, never cared about who my friends were, or ever talked to me about anything in general. A man who only served to give me a place to stay, food, and a car to drive, who, I will admit, he did spend a lot of money to try to put me through college and I do gratefully appreciate all he's done for me with that and all.

But when you're own father trash talks about your own friend's when they're in the same room, when you're own father yells at you after you get home from your best friend's funeral [who was only 17 when he passed], when you're own father screams and yells at you for being incompetent, who puts his hands on you and chokes you into the couch, who assumes that if nothing else, his own son is some sort of mental case, or is on drugs. Talk about a father who disowns you from his family, kicks you out of the house for not having a job and telling the neighbors around him that his 'son' smokes Meth, then proceeds to act a teenager and write crude things on his Myspace page because he knows I would see them.

To all you dad's out there, don't ever be like my father. I beg of you, listen and talk to your child[ren]. Not only are you doing them a favor by being a parent, you're doing them a favor by being a friend, someone they can look up to and count on. Unlike me, who has no one in my family anymore, no one now but my mother and two sisters.

I just thought I would share...let you see the perspective of a 19 year old gay male who had to hide from his own father, because he would tease, humiliate, and flat-out hate me, for who I am and what I believe. I have not seen the man in over a year now; the last thing he ever told me was that I am no longer is son. He never liked me for who I was when I lived with him, he wouldn't like the person I am now.

Wow, sorry, I was rambling...

Thanks :]

And as he held me in his arms, he whispered in my ear "I love you"
And I was henceforth infected with a poison, this poison called love

There is no cure for this toxin, once you're infected, it's over
It spreads through your body within seconds, there's no control
It targets your organs, the brain, you lungs, your heart, your eyes, all of it
Its exacerbated if you remain around the one who infected you, growing ever stronger

Your brain becomes intoxicated, drunk with images of him.
He's all you think of, all you dream of, and all that you desire
Your lungs fail you, the air you breathe is no longer safe
He becomes the very air you need to breathe; desire grows
Your skin aches, longing for the very sensation of his touch
Sensations are dulled because of it, you NEED him to make you feel alive
Body overwhelmed, desire and longing for nothing but him
Feeling frail and vulnerable without him
You are intoxicated, helpless to the poison you let yourself succumb to.

In his waking presence, the toxin hastens your destruction
When he touches you, your skin crawls in coldness
Yet when he kisses you, warmth fills your very soul
His gaze is deadly, shattering bouts of fear, melting you from the inside
His words are sharp, piercing the veil which you try to hide from
Rendering you senseless, a mortal at the whim of a mighty god

This poison is wretched from the depths of Pandora's Box.
Upon injection and infection, the outcomes are devastating.
It can corrode and corrupt the body into a stringed puppet,
Only to be desired by condescending fishmongers wanting your body.
It can leave you broken and dismay, robbed of all hope, suicidal
It can break you into your own worst enemy you swore to never become
But, alas, through the endless eternities of monsters and nightmares, there is still that speck of hope
The tiny speck of light that turns the poison into a wonderful corruption
Leaving you riddled in happiness and joy.
Either way, its life-changing, for the good or for the bad.

What do you see
When your eyes fall on me?
You see just a shell of a man
Deception for you to perceive me as perfection

What do I see
When I look in the mirror?
I see a monster
A corroded mass of decaying flesh
Rotting from the inside out

My mind has betrayed me
I am never at ease
Constantly watched by the eyes that aren't there
Annoyed by the voices that no one hears

My eyes have failed me
They work in alliance with my mind
I see you standing there, taunting me
Everyone thinks I'm crazy, but they don't know the truth
These illusions are hunters and I am their prey

My world is upside down
I no longer acknowledge a concept of reality
My mind has strayed from the path of well-being
I am m my own worst enemy
And to you, I am just another face
Always just another face

Oh that it does.
This was written clearly out of anger.
As of today, I don't hold any anger or spite against this person
And I can still speak to them, for the most part, in a civilized way.

Who cares what I've become
My body, it feels so numb
This fear is like an unseen blade
It's always keeping me afraid
I feel the fires within my chest
This rage inside, I won't suppress
You brought this on you stupid whore
Look what you've done, want some more?
You will not ever break me
You will not ever kill me
You fuel my passion, my desire
You awoke this in me, this raging fire

I'm not going to help you
I'm not going to save you
I'm not going to love you
I'm only going to hate you
Until you save yourself

You're pathetic and weak
And everyday of the week
You're always pulling people down
You're always pushing people down
You think not but of yourself
You value nothing but yourself
I told you once, I told you twice
You piece of **** that broke the ice

I'm not going to help you
I'm not going to save you
I'm not going to love you
I'm only going to hate you
Until you ****ing save yourself
I'm always going to hate you
I'm never going to love you
I'm never going to save you
I'm never going to help you
Because you ****ed up your own life

I tried so hard, I tugged and pulled
You never budged, you only fooled
Don't play your games, I see your lie
Just ****ing quit, why bother try
Just give up, it's what you do
Go cry to mom, and feel so blue
Go take that blade, cut and bleed
Show this world that you need
Prove me that I'm ****ing wrong
This ****ing ****'s gone on to long

I don't want to help you
I don't want to save you
I don't want to love you
I can only hate you
Until you save yourself...

Imprisoned of sorrow, anger my shroud
The darkness is blinding, guilt is my cloud
Bleeding through silence, surrender or fail
This choice isn't easy, my body is frail
I'm lost in myself, I can't remember you
I don't know your face, nor a sky that is blue
These eyes see crimson, passion of a blade
I feel my pulse quicken, my life quickly to fade
I know not the reason I dwell in the past
My blunder awoken; I fall forever to fast
I'm no longer living, but living in fear
I can't see this truth, I can't see you dear
Will I ever know the end of my flight?
Will I ever find, within darkness, true light?

(c)Markus Douglas

My name is Markus.
Please read/review/rate my profile
I have plenty of pictures
And did my best to tell of myself

Is it to much?
Not enough?
Am I being dodgy on things?

Let me know please.
Thanks :]

Peace&Love

Hollywood Undead - No 5

Tiger Army - Forever Fades Away

Tiger Army - Ghostfire ^_^

Shinedown - Call Me

3Oh!3 - PunkB*tch

Apocalyptica (feat. Adam Gontier) - I Don't Care

amazing song :]

Five Finger Death Punch - A Place to Die

Breathe Carolina - Gossip