I'm going to help you translate this. "Turn my brain off and become a cardboard cutout of Ward Cleaver in a business suit" means "They realize you make little money writing and you should get a job"

The problem is you aren't attracted to smart women. You have so much self esteem tied up in your "intelligence" that if there was the possibility that someone around you was smarter than you it would destroy your self worth. In the words of Bo Diddly "Before you accuse me, take a look at yourself."

Wow...clubbin714 you are a monster. Nothing gives you the right to act that way. If you can't deal with a busted lip without letting 'roid rage get the best of you you are not only very clearly a coward, but a pansy with absolutely no impulse control. I'm a bartender and I deal with some nonsense, but under no circumstances would it be okay for me to put a woman in a headlock. I quite literally laughed out loud when you said you were "being a gentleman' because you didn't punch this girl in the face. There is nothing gentle about you. You and men like you account for 90% of the world's problems. You pretend to be competent men of violence who don't take crap from anyone but you are just idiot man children who never learned to deal with your emotions. You have an inability to use words to solve a problem and that is why you seem to be so proud of all of the fights you are in. In conclusion you add nothing to this planet. You are a waste of the resources you consume. The day you die will be a red letter day for every reasonable, compassionate, GENTLEMAN out there with a Y chromosome.

For **** blocking

Yes Tromette, I will marry you!

For breaking in to the Lincoln Park Zoo and strangling the life out of every god damned chimpanzee in the monkey house while children stare at you through the thick glass windows and cry and scream and beg you to stop. Don't they understand?!? You would love nothing more than to stop. Than to let these stupid apes go about their day. Eat bananas and continue their ribald antics? You are doing this for them! For the children! You can't let them live in a world dominated by god damned stinking apes! You cannot and will not! I've seen the future god dammit, and call me old fashioned, but I feel like when a man sees the future he has a god damned responsibility to the children!