And how does one observe National Dominatrix Week? However she tells you to.

Classic.

Great thread, dred. I'll take a shot...

1. I’ve been blessed by a saint. Well, a future saint, anyway.

2. I’ve walked in the footsteps of both emperors and those condemned to die.

3. I was once stabbed by a fish. Yes, stabbed.

4. I’ve been in the bedroom of a convicted murderer…while he was there.

5. I came “this close” to punching-out Joe Pesci. He was asking for it.

6. I have a birthmark in the shape on a heart on a rather embarrassing part of my anatomy.

7. I believe anyone who believes in lowering taxes must be a decent man. (*wink and a nod to the dred-man*)

8. I live on an island, and I’m drinking rum right now. Yar!!!!

9. I’m constantly amazed and deeply comforted by the fact that people who seem different aren’t really all that different when it comes down to it.

10. I’ve seen Liberace in concert…while wearing a Motley Crue tee-shirt.

11. I can’t help myself. I sing along with Simon and Garfunkel. Badly. (“Where have you gone, Joe DiMaggio? A nation turns its lonely eyes to you.”)

12. I believe any woman who knows Captain Kirk’s middle name is very likely worth keeping. (*wink and nod to lilith*)

13. I’ve survived a major earthquake and consider anything less than a 6 to be child’s play.

14. I too often “talk” for animals. Most of the time they’re thinking one of two things: “Don’t eat me,” or “Give me food.” Go figure.

15. The Shire is my ideal home.

That's the spirit! But, yeah, generally speaking little-old-lady-strangers are not profiled on A&E for their fudge-induced killing-sprees, so I s'pose it was a safe bet.

Yes, but did you eat it?

Yep, I'd eat 'em. But, then again, my neighbor once told me that living next to me is like living next to a phantom. I suspect baked-goods will not come my way any time soon.

Bummer.