Dave comes home from the pub, the drunkest he's been in a long time, and collapses into bed next to his sleeping wife. Later, he's woken by a brilliant flash of light at the end of his bed, which his still sleeping wife seems oblivious to. St. Peter appears in all his glory, standing over the two of them.

"You have died of alcohol poisoning, my son" says St. Peter. Dave is obviously distraught, and begs and pleads with the Saint to be given another chance at life.

"Well," says St. Peter, thumbing through his saintly handbook, "there is a little known rule which might help. Apparently you can be reincarnated in special circumstances if you wish, but only as a dog or as a chicken, I'm afraid." Dave, living next door to a chicken farm, agrees to be reincarnated as a chicken, so at least he can still see his wife.

Flash! The man is suddenly a chicken, pecking around the chicken farm. A rooster approaches him and says "Hey! You must be the new arrival here! How's everything going?" "Pretty good" says Dave, "though my stomach feels a bit funny."

"Well you're obviously about to lay an egg! Give it a try; push one out!" So Dave wriggles and squirms and wriggles and squirms and out pops a nice egg!

"That felt great!" thinks Dave, "I think I'll lay another one!" So again he wriggles and squirms and wriggles and squirms and then !!BANG!! His wife angrily slaps him on the back of his head and screams in a rage: "For Christ's sake, David!! You've crapped the bed again!!!"

Three nuns are in a car accident and, unfortunately, pass away from their injuries before help can arrive. They ascend and find themselves in front of the Pearly Gates facing St. Peter. Peter's job, as we all know, is to offer one final test to ensure only the worthy enter heaven.

Peter looks down at the three nuns and checks the ledger in front of him for their names and life stories.

The first nun, Sarah, has led a good and pious life. Peter decides to make her test a no-brainer.

Peter asks, "Sarah, in order to enter heaven, you must answer me one question. Who were the first woman and man?"
Sarah quickly says, "That's an easy one. It was Eve and Adam."
Beyond the gates, the trumpets sound, harps strum, a choir sings. The gates open and Sarah enters.

The second nun, Ester, has led a good life, but has from time to time strayed from the path of righteousness. Peter feels she deserves to enter, but he decides to make her test a touch more difficult.

Peter asks, "Ester, in order to enter heaven, you must answer me one question. Who received the Ten Commandments?
Ester replies, "Oh, that's an easy one. It was Moses."
Beyond the gates, the trumpets sound, harps strum, a choir sings. The gates open and Ester enters.

The third nun, Antonia, while holy, believes herself to be superior to others. She has bullied people, made them suffer, and never repented. Peter believes that she should spend a bit of time in Purgatory to learn humility and decides to ask her an impossible question.

Peter asks, "Antonia, in order to enter heaven, you must answer me one question. What were Eve's first words to Adam?"
Antonia doesn't know. Her eyes widen and Peter glares at her pause. To buy a little time, she says, "Oh, that's a hard one."
Beyond the gates, the trumpets sound, harps strum, a choir sings ...